And if I only could make a deal with God
Funny story: my mom and I are both dating people in Maryland. Of course, hers is a hotel manager who travels for a living, so they see each other every couple weeks and go on trips together and such things that Flo and I can't do. Today my mom was showing me the Valentine's card he gave her, and it was signed "love you more." It turns out they have a tradition of one saying "I love you" and the other saying "I love you more." I was terribly amused, and almost told her that's exactly what Flo and I do--but, of course, I couldn't actually tell her that.
Which is really not fair. My mom is always going on about how excited she is for when I get a boyfriend (she always strongly emphasizes boyfriend, or at least has been doing so since she got the inkling that I may already have the feminine version), and as annoying as it would be to have her gush over my going out, it's sad knowing she never will. I don't want to deal with all the nakdha of friends and relatives congratulating while glancing suspiciously out of the corner of my eyes; and, in the future, I don't really want the giant fuss that Indians and Iranians and Africans and Middle Easterners always make over getting married and having kids. Though I'm sure I'll get it, in the "when are you going to settle down and start a family?" sense.
It's just...I look at how my mom gets along with her boyfriend's family, and I listen to her talk about me getting a boyfriend, and somehow I doubt that's ever going to happen for me. I’m not even allowed to have friends who aren’t “normal,” according to my dad. (He has been told Flo is straight; Mom is aware Flo is not; one day they will probably discuss the matter and I will be in deep shit.) I have been less than kindly viewed by the parents of the girls I like. It's especially unfair because if you took away the estrogen, my parents would be thrilled by Flo: she's smart, quiet, doesn't drink or party, goes to a school with the name value my parents are so crazy about, and damn it I love her. Well, okay, my mom probably would rather I be with an Ismaili, but there aren't that many of those around here.
Oh, and for that matter? To be selfish for a moment? I behave well. I get good grades. I was seventeen when I had my first kiss. I don't dress like a slut or do stupid teenage things or stay out until two in the morning. Sure, I'm not the most psychologically stable human being in the world, and I'm not saying all parents should love me, but they generally do when they don't think I'm trying to sleep with their daughter.
I don't really need my parents to like Flo. I sure don't need her parents to like me. But it would be really nice if I didn't have to quickly shut the IM screen when my mom walks by, if her parents didn't check her text logs to see if she's been talking to me, if one day I can announce to my parents that I'm going to have a wife (not that I necessarily will) and get the same congratulations I'd get if I were going to have a husband.
Instead, we get her parents taking her laptop away when they see her IMing me; we get my dad screaming that he will not "have a daughter who's a bi"; we get well-meaning concern from friends that our answers to Social Interview questions could get us in trouble. And the endless talk by my mom about how wonderful it will be when I finally get a boyfriend.