(no subject)

[blindmonk13]

this has been such a great year that i have had filled with nothing but great memories... in the last year i have made many new friends and lost maybe one or two i have moved out on my own and so have most of my "real" friends i currently live with my best friend adn her boyfriend and his brother...she and hertoy are planing on moving out and it is not that i want them to move out but they said they where in nov and i had mad plans for new roommates but alas they cant move in yet and the tryingness of them staying where they are is waring us down... but i do belive we are at a state equalibrium now so it should stay stable for a bit... i have 2 jobs and am so overworked it is not funny... i failed 3 classes in collage because i slept thru them and missed tomany classes because of being over worked... so i am going to take a quarter off to relook my life and i WILL go back the next quarter for the same thing but i WILL only have 1 job then but i dont know which job to keep...in a week i find out if working at one of my jobs is orth it because i will find out if i am only a temp supervisor or if i got the job... a few higher ups said that cause i have the store keys then i should have the job...but alas so much fucking drama happens you never fucxking know what is happening around you there and they change the ranks so much with new people and shit that the turn overrate is huge so if i dont get it then i will only make 8 an hour and that is not enough i need the 2 dollar raise otherwise it is like yeah let me wok less at the olive garden ware i make 10 an hour and work 40 a week at the place that only pays 8 uh huh thats smart... and i gots me a kitty cat i wove kittys... well that is most of my life............ o wait there is that one thing... that thing that has been consumeing my life...puting me into a depression because i cant have the one thing i want... you could say a craving ... and it is so much more than a simple lust it turned into a need... i cant stand not being with this person... i have gone thru so many changesin my life in this past year and the biggest cange is that i found love... and i cant be with her because someone else is... do you have any idea how hard it is to know thqt some other man slept next to the woman of your dreams... i know they are not haveing sex because she is a virgin and is waiting for marrage i mean holy shit... someone who is hot, fucking has the best personality in the world and is not a slut.... and i cant date her ...it didnt bother me as much before but every day i see her i like her more... i am finding my self fall in love and i hate falling for taken woman... but alas he boyfriend lives out of state but he is here for xmas untill the 7th... i cant wait for the 7th... and what is worse is i like the guy he is nice and shit... it would be so much easyer if he was a dick or something but no he is nice... and before he came to visit he told her he was jeolous that i got to hang out with her as much as i do and he cant because he lives out of state... she visits him all the time...i dont think i have a chance i dont see anything breaking them up...it really sucks...if i would have met her like 3 mounths before i did i might have had a chance but alas...i didnt.

well that is my fucking last year and the beginning of this one so i hope you all have a fucking great year go 2005 and give me some fucking answers..................................................................... peace out bitchs

Luke aka blindmonk13