Lover Dearest 1/1
Title: Lover Dearest
Word Count: 1,261
Pairings: Jack/Ianto with a slight Jack/Doctor tilt to it.
Rating: G-ish?
Genre: Angst, romance, AU, Song fic, narrative.
Warning: None
Disclaimer: Torchwood and Doctor Who is not mine, neither is the song Lover Dearest, blah blah blah, don't sue cause my ass if poor.
Un-beta'ed, sorry. Any and all mistakes are my own (i'm known as the typo queen around friends), and i apologize for them. Feel free to point any mistakes out, as long as you're polite about it ^_^
Author's Notes: I blame the song for this fic, also that i was a little tired that in most fics Jack and Ianto seem to be soul mates. I felt like exploring the other side.
Personal Note: This is my first fic i've posted in 10 months, i know this. For those of you on my Friend's List you know i've been fighting a very bad illness, hence why i've been MIA. So please excuse me if this is rubbish.
Summary: Why don't you leave me?
This place is a hole, but I don't want to go
I wish we could stay here forever alone
This time that we waste, but I still love your taste
Don't let him take my place don't just sit there
Sometimes I wish you would leave me
It was always the same, Ianto knew this, he couldn’t compare to the Doctor. No one could, it was a while now that he had stopped even trying. He sometimes thought that perhaps the Time Lord was the only real person that Jack had ever loved, even though it was never returned. In a way, he and Jack had that in common. Loving someone who would never love them back, yet they couldn’t be the first one to walk away. Jack always came back, Ianto wanted to believe that it was for him, because of him. But he knew it wasn’t, it wasn’t because he was home, or warmth. It was because they both knew, knew he was too weak to be the first to leave for good.
I'm not sick of you yet
Is that as good as it gets
I'll just hide it, or I could slip into you
It's so easy to come back into you
Ianto never expected much, or at least, he didn’t think so. He wasn’t sure when the love had changed to settling. Love was a complex emotion, it wasn’t an emotion all on it’s own. If anything, it was all emotions mixed together, love just happened to be the title it was given. He would sit and watch Jack over his morning paper across the table from him, the other not looking up once. He knew that Jack knew he was looking at him, but there was never any eye contact. The silence had started to grow more each day, it made him realize, he wasn’t the only one settling.
I stared for awhile and waited for the words
Seen but not heard and struggle to try
My tongue's turning black, but I'll take you back
You're still the best more or less, I guess, I guess
Don't you leave me
Jack cheated on him, Ianto knew this. It wasn’t like he had another lover hidden away, that he’d skulk off and meet every weekend at some seedy little motel. No, it only happened once and a while, usually because of work. Jack would meet an informant or something of the like at a bar or a restaurant, somewhere public for security sake. One thing would lead to another, and that would usually lead to someone’s bed. It was never Jack’s bed, ever. Because his bed already had someone in it, and he knew exactly every time Jack didn’t come home what was happening somewhere across town. They’d always fight about it, shouting at each other. Jack would call him a name, and Ianto would shout something about a fear of commitment before the older would leave with a slam of the door. He always came back, days later. And Ianto would always let him, never stopping him from crossing that threshold.
I'm not sick of you yet
Is that as good as it gets
I'll just hide it, or I could slip into you
It's so easy to come back into you
The worst fight they had over Jack’s indiscretions he was gone for three days, at least that’s what it was for Ianto. It wasn’t until the man showed up on the door step that it had become obvious it had been longer for him, which meant that he had gone back to the Doctor. Sometimes it was weeks, months, Jack never let it get to a year though. Ianto sometime’s wondered why, but he never asked. He could always tell, he could see it in his eyes. Jack always looked a little deader when he came back from a trip with the Time Lord, his soul crushed a little more. Ianto recognized the look, he saw it in himself. He wondered if Jack saw it, if he saw just how much he was like the Doctor, crushing Ianto like the Time Lord crushed Jack.
It hurts me to say that it hurts me to stay
And it might be alright if you go
It hurts me to say that I want you to stay
But it might be alright if you go
So leave me
Ianto knew the time, the exact time that everything had shifted, he had it photographed in him mind. A perfectly, albeit silent, meal was interrupted by a tall, young and slightly awkward young man. The Doctor, a new face obviously. He needed Jack for something, something life or death no doubt. Ianto just sat there, looking at Jack with tired eyes, waiting for the inevitable excuse why he had to go. It was almost routine, a constant in their lives that he could count on. Only this time Jack didn’t go, he just told the other man to leave. They argued, much like he himself would often argue with the older man. Eventually the Time Lord left, Jack staying behind. Ianto was going to tell him that he was fine if Jack wanted to go, but he didn’t. It wasn’t about him, about if he was fine with it or not. Jack had just made the move, the first move, the first to put up his hands, the first to surrender. Jack had said no, stopped the pattern of things that had always lead to that dead look.
I'm not sick of you yet
Is that as good as it gets
I'll just hide it, or I could slip into you
It's so easy to come back into you
They never had sex anymore, they hadn’t in a long while. Ianto knew he should be more bothered by this, laying in bed next to Jack, their backs to one another. He spent a lot of time awake, staring off into the darkness of their room. After Jack had given up on traveling with the Doctor, Ianto knew what he had thought all along, that they were both settling. He was getting too old to deal with the song and dance that they played, and Jack was nothing more then a tired old man waiting until the inevitable came to Ianto before moving on. Ianto wanted to believe there had to be more than what they had, and there had be a time when he was so sure there was. Perhaps at one point it had been something, but not anymore.
Sometimes I think that the bitter in you and the quitter in me
Is the bitter in you and the quitter in me
The bitter in you and the quitter in me
Is the better in you and the quitter in me
The bitter in you and the quitter in me is bigger than the both of us
There were no tears, no last minute declarations of love and fealty. They just stood there, the open door opening for the last time. Ianto smiling a soft crooked smile, Jack reaching out to touch his cheek. There were no words, they had already said everything that would ever need to be said. This was it, deep down Ianto had always had a feeling he would be the first to leave. Jack had nothing but time, it was Ianto that was standing to lose the most, and he was tired of losing. With a simple nod Jack walked away and Ianto closed the door, knowing that they’d never cross paths again, and he was okay with that.
The song on youtube if you want to listen to it
Love it? Hate it? Wanna take it home and cook it dinner? Comments are love ♥
Word Count: 1,261
Pairings: Jack/Ianto with a slight Jack/Doctor tilt to it.
Rating: G-ish?
Genre: Angst, romance, AU, Song fic, narrative.
Warning: None
Disclaimer: Torchwood and Doctor Who is not mine, neither is the song Lover Dearest, blah blah blah, don't sue cause my ass if poor.
Un-beta'ed, sorry. Any and all mistakes are my own (i'm known as the typo queen around friends), and i apologize for them. Feel free to point any mistakes out, as long as you're polite about it ^_^
Author's Notes: I blame the song for this fic, also that i was a little tired that in most fics Jack and Ianto seem to be soul mates. I felt like exploring the other side.
Personal Note: This is my first fic i've posted in 10 months, i know this. For those of you on my Friend's List you know i've been fighting a very bad illness, hence why i've been MIA. So please excuse me if this is rubbish.
Summary: Why don't you leave me?
This place is a hole, but I don't want to go
I wish we could stay here forever alone
This time that we waste, but I still love your taste
Don't let him take my place don't just sit there
Sometimes I wish you would leave me
It was always the same, Ianto knew this, he couldn’t compare to the Doctor. No one could, it was a while now that he had stopped even trying. He sometimes thought that perhaps the Time Lord was the only real person that Jack had ever loved, even though it was never returned. In a way, he and Jack had that in common. Loving someone who would never love them back, yet they couldn’t be the first one to walk away. Jack always came back, Ianto wanted to believe that it was for him, because of him. But he knew it wasn’t, it wasn’t because he was home, or warmth. It was because they both knew, knew he was too weak to be the first to leave for good.
I'm not sick of you yet
Is that as good as it gets
I'll just hide it, or I could slip into you
It's so easy to come back into you
Ianto never expected much, or at least, he didn’t think so. He wasn’t sure when the love had changed to settling. Love was a complex emotion, it wasn’t an emotion all on it’s own. If anything, it was all emotions mixed together, love just happened to be the title it was given. He would sit and watch Jack over his morning paper across the table from him, the other not looking up once. He knew that Jack knew he was looking at him, but there was never any eye contact. The silence had started to grow more each day, it made him realize, he wasn’t the only one settling.
I stared for awhile and waited for the words
Seen but not heard and struggle to try
My tongue's turning black, but I'll take you back
You're still the best more or less, I guess, I guess
Don't you leave me
Jack cheated on him, Ianto knew this. It wasn’t like he had another lover hidden away, that he’d skulk off and meet every weekend at some seedy little motel. No, it only happened once and a while, usually because of work. Jack would meet an informant or something of the like at a bar or a restaurant, somewhere public for security sake. One thing would lead to another, and that would usually lead to someone’s bed. It was never Jack’s bed, ever. Because his bed already had someone in it, and he knew exactly every time Jack didn’t come home what was happening somewhere across town. They’d always fight about it, shouting at each other. Jack would call him a name, and Ianto would shout something about a fear of commitment before the older would leave with a slam of the door. He always came back, days later. And Ianto would always let him, never stopping him from crossing that threshold.
I'm not sick of you yet
Is that as good as it gets
I'll just hide it, or I could slip into you
It's so easy to come back into you
The worst fight they had over Jack’s indiscretions he was gone for three days, at least that’s what it was for Ianto. It wasn’t until the man showed up on the door step that it had become obvious it had been longer for him, which meant that he had gone back to the Doctor. Sometimes it was weeks, months, Jack never let it get to a year though. Ianto sometime’s wondered why, but he never asked. He could always tell, he could see it in his eyes. Jack always looked a little deader when he came back from a trip with the Time Lord, his soul crushed a little more. Ianto recognized the look, he saw it in himself. He wondered if Jack saw it, if he saw just how much he was like the Doctor, crushing Ianto like the Time Lord crushed Jack.
It hurts me to say that it hurts me to stay
And it might be alright if you go
It hurts me to say that I want you to stay
But it might be alright if you go
So leave me
Ianto knew the time, the exact time that everything had shifted, he had it photographed in him mind. A perfectly, albeit silent, meal was interrupted by a tall, young and slightly awkward young man. The Doctor, a new face obviously. He needed Jack for something, something life or death no doubt. Ianto just sat there, looking at Jack with tired eyes, waiting for the inevitable excuse why he had to go. It was almost routine, a constant in their lives that he could count on. Only this time Jack didn’t go, he just told the other man to leave. They argued, much like he himself would often argue with the older man. Eventually the Time Lord left, Jack staying behind. Ianto was going to tell him that he was fine if Jack wanted to go, but he didn’t. It wasn’t about him, about if he was fine with it or not. Jack had just made the move, the first move, the first to put up his hands, the first to surrender. Jack had said no, stopped the pattern of things that had always lead to that dead look.
I'm not sick of you yet
Is that as good as it gets
I'll just hide it, or I could slip into you
It's so easy to come back into you
They never had sex anymore, they hadn’t in a long while. Ianto knew he should be more bothered by this, laying in bed next to Jack, their backs to one another. He spent a lot of time awake, staring off into the darkness of their room. After Jack had given up on traveling with the Doctor, Ianto knew what he had thought all along, that they were both settling. He was getting too old to deal with the song and dance that they played, and Jack was nothing more then a tired old man waiting until the inevitable came to Ianto before moving on. Ianto wanted to believe there had to be more than what they had, and there had be a time when he was so sure there was. Perhaps at one point it had been something, but not anymore.
Sometimes I think that the bitter in you and the quitter in me
Is the bitter in you and the quitter in me
The bitter in you and the quitter in me
Is the better in you and the quitter in me
The bitter in you and the quitter in me is bigger than the both of us
There were no tears, no last minute declarations of love and fealty. They just stood there, the open door opening for the last time. Ianto smiling a soft crooked smile, Jack reaching out to touch his cheek. There were no words, they had already said everything that would ever need to be said. This was it, deep down Ianto had always had a feeling he would be the first to leave. Jack had nothing but time, it was Ianto that was standing to lose the most, and he was tired of losing. With a simple nod Jack walked away and Ianto closed the door, knowing that they’d never cross paths again, and he was okay with that.
The song on youtube if you want to listen to it
Love it? Hate it? Wanna take it home and cook it dinner? Comments are love ♥