Weird Dad Stories 1/1
Title: Weird Dad Stories
Word Count: 1,965
Pairings: Jack/Ianto
Rating: G
Genre: Humor, AU, Fluff.
Warning: None
Disclaimer: Alas the Torchwood character's are not mine, they belong to other more fabulous people. Lacey was created and belongs to fading_xhopex, she was kind enough to allow me to puppet her for this story. Tessa is my own creation, but i'm more than glad to share her.
Un-beta'ed, sorry. Any and all mistakes are my own (i'm known as the typo queen around friends), and i apologize for them. Feel free to point any mistakes out, as long as you're polite about it ^_^
Author's Notes: This fic was written in an Alternate Universe that myself and two of my bestest friends dreamed up, it would take too long to explain everything in our little universe so the just of it would be; Both Jack and Ianto are immortal now, Jack has four children from previous relationships that have shown up via the Rift. Two of which are in this fic, one of them is a 750 old half time lord/half human, the other is a 13 year old human from the 51st century. They still run Torchwood, as well a coffee shop that acts as the Torchwood front (like the tourist center). Oh an just and FYI, yes the book that is in the fic IS a real book. I own it and it's one of the sweetest things ever, my kids love it.
Summary: Jack looks after two sick kids.
Jack shook his head as a hacking cough rang out through the room and out into the hall he was standing in, followed by the sound of a rather pathetic moan. He just smiled a small smile, not really listening to the person on the other end of the phone receiver he was currently holding against his ear. He sighed, nodding even though it was a silly thing to do since the other person on the phone couldn’t actually see him. “Yes Gwen, I will make sure to keep them hydrated.” He said, his tone held a light hint of amused exasperation. “Yes Gwen, okay, yep, okay now, buh-bye.” He finally hung up the phone even though the woman on the line was still barking orders at him, he really did love her mother hen routine, it was sweet and was even more proof that she would make a wonderful mum soon enough.
Once off the phone he walked back into the den, the scene that met him was a sorely pathetic one at that. His two daughters laid out on the sofa, blankets over both. Each girl, had a pillow behind their head and looked about a moment from death. Their noses were red and raw, their eyes puffy and watery. Both had fever spots on their cheeks and were breathing through their mouths, since their noses were obviously stuffed up. Tissues littered the floor surrounding the sofa as well as the blankets that were covering them, and various comics, video games and dishes covered the surrounding tables and arms of chairs. “That was Gwen, she says to get well soon.” He said, cringing slightly when one of the two was subject to a very sudden coughing fit.
“Ugh.” The youngest of the two groaned, holding her head with both hands. “My head’s going to fall off.”
Jack chuckled. “It is not.”
“I’m gonna die.” The other said, lulling her head back against her side of the couch.
“You are not.” Jack said with a roll of his eyes, leaning over to pick up some of the soiled tissues from the floor.
“Shut up, I am too.” Lacey pouted.
“Okay fine, you’re dying.” Jack agreed flippantly as he continued to pick up things. “You’re going to die from a cold.”
“I hate you.”
“That too.” Jack nodded, moving to toss his hand full of tissue into one of the waste bins in the corner.
“Aren’t you afraid you’ll get sick?” Tessa asked, watching him work to try and pick up some of the mess. “Touching all our gross-ness?”
Jack straightened up, looking over at the two, shaking his head fondly. “No, for two reasons. Nothing you have will kill me, literally. And secondly, I don’t get sick.”
“Says who?” Lacey questioned, sounding like she didn’t believe her father for one minute.
“Says me.”
“That reason only works for punishments dad.” Tessa pointed out.
“Actually, that reason never works for punishments.” Jack said with a chuckle. “It’s the whole immortal thing, don’t ask me how it works. All I know is the last time I was sick was before the Doctor and Rose, so I’m just assuming the fixed point in time thing has something to do with it.”
“Wait, so you haven’t been sick in like thousands of years?” Tessa sounding skeptical.
“Well, there was that one time I got the plague. Not fun, last time I trust rats.”
Both girls rolled their eyes at him, both having gotten use to his stories by now. “You and your stories.” Lacey drawled, which only threw her into yet another coughing fit.
“Yep, dad and his weird dad stories.” Jack mimicked what they usually said about him, continuing his tidying up.
“Well, go on then. Out with it, tell us a story.” Lacey said, once her coughing had subsided.
Jack looked at his daughter oddly. “You want me to tell you a story?” The girls in turn just nodded. “Aren’t you two a little old to want to hear a story?” At his question both pouted slightly. “You two are defiantly too old to look that petulant.” He chuckled before relenting. “Okay, gimme a minute.” He said, leaving the room before coming back in with a book.
“A book? Dad I wanted to hear about the plague stuff.” Tessa whined, getting an odd look from her older sister.
“I know I’ve said it before, but you are one morbid child!” Lacey said, rolling her eyes at her sister. Tessa just stuck her tongue out, proving her just complete lack of maturity for her thirteen years of age.
Jack just sat down in one of the arm chairs, ignoring the two bickering children. He was content to sit there and wait until they were done and decided to pay attention to him, which they did after a couple minutes of kick fighting over who was hogging more of the sofa.
“What the hell book is that? It’s tiny.” Lacey said, finally noticing the size of the book he held in his hands. It was about the size of his hands in fact, and very thin. It was powder purple with baby yellow on the spine and had what looked like rodents on the front of it.
“It’s the Mouse Fairies.” Jack said simply, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
“Mouse Fairies?” Lacey gave him a look that said; you cannot be serious.
“Why the hell do you have a book about rodent fairies?” Tessa inquired.
Jack thought for a moment. “I dunno, I think I bought it back in the nineties when Step.....” He trailed off, looking over at the girls once again. “Nevermind.”
“We’re too old for a book about mice dad.” Lacey whined, proving that she wasn’t in fact too old to sound like a child.
“Listen, it’s either this or I break out War and Peace.”
“You could read Twlight.” Tessa said with a bit of hope in her voice.
“No!” Both Jack and Lacey said at the same time, causing the younger girl to cross her arms over her chest and pout.
“Shut up and I’ll read.” Jack said, opening the book, reading the first page. The first page as it turned out only had fourteen words on it, and the next held even less. It was truly a child’s book, in every sense of the word. The only thing that kept the two sick girls from whining was the fact that each page had a bit of post attached to it, and in each envelope was a hand written note to the reader of the book, or in this case, the girls. By the end of the ten page book, both girls looked highly amused, which in turn amused Jack to no end. He knew most of it had to do with that fact that they were both on heavy cold medication, making them both a bit dopey, but it was still sweet none the less.
“You know, that was kinda neat.” Lacey admitted from where she laid, the cover pulled up to under her child.
“Yeah.” Tessa agreed, nodding as she lay on her side, looking at Jack. “It would be cool if they were real.”
“Oh they are.” Jack said, both girl’s eyes going wide.
“They are not.” Lacey said with a scoff.
“Sure they are, mouse fairies are everywhere. I met a bunch back in the fifties, sweet little creatures. Throw great parties, of course you’ve gotta be careful where you step. They’re pretty tiny you know.” He said, holding his hand up, fingers mere inches apart to indicate how small the little fairies were. “They like the back gardens of big ole manors and houses, kinda like this one.” Jack continued his fantastic story about meeting a group of mouse fairies back years ago, about the tea parties they threw and why they left notes to children. By the time he was done, both girl’s were sound asleep and he got up continuing his tidying.
It was a few hours later when Ianto came home, walking in with a bag of take away. He walked into the front den to find Jack seated on the settee that was under the front window, one of his own books in his hands. The two girls still sleeping, the odd cough coming from them as they snored softly. “How long have they been out?” Ianto asked in a soft tone, so not to wake them.
“Four hours or so.” Jack said, getting up and walking over to where Ianto was.
“How were they?”
“Good, whiny. I shut up with a story. Ooh, it that wan-ton soup?” He said randomly, noticing the food the Welshman was holding and taking the bag from him.
“A story? What story?” Ianto asked, turning to watch as Jack moved from the room. The older man paused only momentarily to nod toward one of the arm chairs, before continuing out of the room, muttering about how he hoped there was extra spring rolls. Ianto arched an eyebrow in confusion as he turned to pick up the small book sitting on the seat of the chair, before looking over at the doorway that Jack had just exited through. “Mouse Fairies?” He paused, thinking for a moment before following after Jack, calling out his name in question.
It wasn’t until three days later when the girls were up and fine, and Ianto was about ready to wring someone’s neck because he kept finding scraps of paper all over the bloody house, that he finally found out why Jack had read them that book. “Jack?” Ianto called out, his hand holding a fist full of bits of paper.
“In the kitchen.” Came Jack’s slightly muffled reply.
Ianto walked into the kitchen only to find the other man standing in the open back door, his arms crossed over his chest, shoulder leaned against the wooden door jam in an easy fashion. “Jack, who the hell is leaving tiny notes everywhere?” He asked his lovers back, who was obvious too enamored with whatever was out in the back garden.
“Me.”
Ianto paused, he wasn’t expecting that to be the answer. “What, why?” He asked, walking up next to Jack. “What the hell are they doing?” He questioned, seeing Lacey and Tessa kneeling down by a flower bed, poking around it.
“Looking for mouse fairies.”
“Mouse fair.... Jack!” Ianto scolded, looking at his lover disapprovingly. “You know that book is fiction, there is no such things as mouse fairies.”
“I know.” Jack said, chuckling softly as both girls giggled at something, the sound drifting up on the cooling late evening air.
“Then why are you doing this?”
Jack shrugged softly, still watching his daughters. “Dad and his weird stories.” He said simply.
Ianto nodded, his eyes softening. Jack was always just cast off by the kids, his stories shucked off as silly or boring or, god forbid, old. For once they were enamored with something he had told them, and it was sweet. The Welshman just smiled a little lopsided smile, looking at their daughters out in the garden. “They are cute.” Jack just hummed in agreement. “Shall I go get a camera?” He asked with a smirk.
Jack smiled one of his usual bright smiled, finally looking at the other man. “You read my mind.” He chuckled, Ianto kissing his cheek before re-entering the house in search of their camera. Jack turned his attention back to where the two girls were now looking through the long grass around the base of the tree that stood in the yard, laughing and smiling about something. Sure, Jack knew their search would turn up nothing. But for the moment they were happy, and he wasn’t just a dad with weird dad stories.
Love it? Hate it? Comments are ♥♥♥
Word Count: 1,965
Pairings: Jack/Ianto
Rating: G
Genre: Humor, AU, Fluff.
Warning: None
Disclaimer: Alas the Torchwood character's are not mine, they belong to other more fabulous people. Lacey was created and belongs to fading_xhopex, she was kind enough to allow me to puppet her for this story. Tessa is my own creation, but i'm more than glad to share her.
Un-beta'ed, sorry. Any and all mistakes are my own (i'm known as the typo queen around friends), and i apologize for them. Feel free to point any mistakes out, as long as you're polite about it ^_^
Author's Notes: This fic was written in an Alternate Universe that myself and two of my bestest friends dreamed up, it would take too long to explain everything in our little universe so the just of it would be; Both Jack and Ianto are immortal now, Jack has four children from previous relationships that have shown up via the Rift. Two of which are in this fic, one of them is a 750 old half time lord/half human, the other is a 13 year old human from the 51st century. They still run Torchwood, as well a coffee shop that acts as the Torchwood front (like the tourist center). Oh an just and FYI, yes the book that is in the fic IS a real book. I own it and it's one of the sweetest things ever, my kids love it.
Summary: Jack looks after two sick kids.
Jack shook his head as a hacking cough rang out through the room and out into the hall he was standing in, followed by the sound of a rather pathetic moan. He just smiled a small smile, not really listening to the person on the other end of the phone receiver he was currently holding against his ear. He sighed, nodding even though it was a silly thing to do since the other person on the phone couldn’t actually see him. “Yes Gwen, I will make sure to keep them hydrated.” He said, his tone held a light hint of amused exasperation. “Yes Gwen, okay, yep, okay now, buh-bye.” He finally hung up the phone even though the woman on the line was still barking orders at him, he really did love her mother hen routine, it was sweet and was even more proof that she would make a wonderful mum soon enough.
Once off the phone he walked back into the den, the scene that met him was a sorely pathetic one at that. His two daughters laid out on the sofa, blankets over both. Each girl, had a pillow behind their head and looked about a moment from death. Their noses were red and raw, their eyes puffy and watery. Both had fever spots on their cheeks and were breathing through their mouths, since their noses were obviously stuffed up. Tissues littered the floor surrounding the sofa as well as the blankets that were covering them, and various comics, video games and dishes covered the surrounding tables and arms of chairs. “That was Gwen, she says to get well soon.” He said, cringing slightly when one of the two was subject to a very sudden coughing fit.
“Ugh.” The youngest of the two groaned, holding her head with both hands. “My head’s going to fall off.”
Jack chuckled. “It is not.”
“I’m gonna die.” The other said, lulling her head back against her side of the couch.
“You are not.” Jack said with a roll of his eyes, leaning over to pick up some of the soiled tissues from the floor.
“Shut up, I am too.” Lacey pouted.
“Okay fine, you’re dying.” Jack agreed flippantly as he continued to pick up things. “You’re going to die from a cold.”
“I hate you.”
“That too.” Jack nodded, moving to toss his hand full of tissue into one of the waste bins in the corner.
“Aren’t you afraid you’ll get sick?” Tessa asked, watching him work to try and pick up some of the mess. “Touching all our gross-ness?”
Jack straightened up, looking over at the two, shaking his head fondly. “No, for two reasons. Nothing you have will kill me, literally. And secondly, I don’t get sick.”
“Says who?” Lacey questioned, sounding like she didn’t believe her father for one minute.
“Says me.”
“That reason only works for punishments dad.” Tessa pointed out.
“Actually, that reason never works for punishments.” Jack said with a chuckle. “It’s the whole immortal thing, don’t ask me how it works. All I know is the last time I was sick was before the Doctor and Rose, so I’m just assuming the fixed point in time thing has something to do with it.”
“Wait, so you haven’t been sick in like thousands of years?” Tessa sounding skeptical.
“Well, there was that one time I got the plague. Not fun, last time I trust rats.”
Both girls rolled their eyes at him, both having gotten use to his stories by now. “You and your stories.” Lacey drawled, which only threw her into yet another coughing fit.
“Yep, dad and his weird dad stories.” Jack mimicked what they usually said about him, continuing his tidying up.
“Well, go on then. Out with it, tell us a story.” Lacey said, once her coughing had subsided.
Jack looked at his daughter oddly. “You want me to tell you a story?” The girls in turn just nodded. “Aren’t you two a little old to want to hear a story?” At his question both pouted slightly. “You two are defiantly too old to look that petulant.” He chuckled before relenting. “Okay, gimme a minute.” He said, leaving the room before coming back in with a book.
“A book? Dad I wanted to hear about the plague stuff.” Tessa whined, getting an odd look from her older sister.
“I know I’ve said it before, but you are one morbid child!” Lacey said, rolling her eyes at her sister. Tessa just stuck her tongue out, proving her just complete lack of maturity for her thirteen years of age.
Jack just sat down in one of the arm chairs, ignoring the two bickering children. He was content to sit there and wait until they were done and decided to pay attention to him, which they did after a couple minutes of kick fighting over who was hogging more of the sofa.
“What the hell book is that? It’s tiny.” Lacey said, finally noticing the size of the book he held in his hands. It was about the size of his hands in fact, and very thin. It was powder purple with baby yellow on the spine and had what looked like rodents on the front of it.
“It’s the Mouse Fairies.” Jack said simply, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
“Mouse Fairies?” Lacey gave him a look that said; you cannot be serious.
“Why the hell do you have a book about rodent fairies?” Tessa inquired.
Jack thought for a moment. “I dunno, I think I bought it back in the nineties when Step.....” He trailed off, looking over at the girls once again. “Nevermind.”
“We’re too old for a book about mice dad.” Lacey whined, proving that she wasn’t in fact too old to sound like a child.
“Listen, it’s either this or I break out War and Peace.”
“You could read Twlight.” Tessa said with a bit of hope in her voice.
“No!” Both Jack and Lacey said at the same time, causing the younger girl to cross her arms over her chest and pout.
“Shut up and I’ll read.” Jack said, opening the book, reading the first page. The first page as it turned out only had fourteen words on it, and the next held even less. It was truly a child’s book, in every sense of the word. The only thing that kept the two sick girls from whining was the fact that each page had a bit of post attached to it, and in each envelope was a hand written note to the reader of the book, or in this case, the girls. By the end of the ten page book, both girls looked highly amused, which in turn amused Jack to no end. He knew most of it had to do with that fact that they were both on heavy cold medication, making them both a bit dopey, but it was still sweet none the less.
“You know, that was kinda neat.” Lacey admitted from where she laid, the cover pulled up to under her child.
“Yeah.” Tessa agreed, nodding as she lay on her side, looking at Jack. “It would be cool if they were real.”
“Oh they are.” Jack said, both girl’s eyes going wide.
“They are not.” Lacey said with a scoff.
“Sure they are, mouse fairies are everywhere. I met a bunch back in the fifties, sweet little creatures. Throw great parties, of course you’ve gotta be careful where you step. They’re pretty tiny you know.” He said, holding his hand up, fingers mere inches apart to indicate how small the little fairies were. “They like the back gardens of big ole manors and houses, kinda like this one.” Jack continued his fantastic story about meeting a group of mouse fairies back years ago, about the tea parties they threw and why they left notes to children. By the time he was done, both girl’s were sound asleep and he got up continuing his tidying.
It was a few hours later when Ianto came home, walking in with a bag of take away. He walked into the front den to find Jack seated on the settee that was under the front window, one of his own books in his hands. The two girls still sleeping, the odd cough coming from them as they snored softly. “How long have they been out?” Ianto asked in a soft tone, so not to wake them.
“Four hours or so.” Jack said, getting up and walking over to where Ianto was.
“How were they?”
“Good, whiny. I shut up with a story. Ooh, it that wan-ton soup?” He said randomly, noticing the food the Welshman was holding and taking the bag from him.
“A story? What story?” Ianto asked, turning to watch as Jack moved from the room. The older man paused only momentarily to nod toward one of the arm chairs, before continuing out of the room, muttering about how he hoped there was extra spring rolls. Ianto arched an eyebrow in confusion as he turned to pick up the small book sitting on the seat of the chair, before looking over at the doorway that Jack had just exited through. “Mouse Fairies?” He paused, thinking for a moment before following after Jack, calling out his name in question.
It wasn’t until three days later when the girls were up and fine, and Ianto was about ready to wring someone’s neck because he kept finding scraps of paper all over the bloody house, that he finally found out why Jack had read them that book. “Jack?” Ianto called out, his hand holding a fist full of bits of paper.
“In the kitchen.” Came Jack’s slightly muffled reply.
Ianto walked into the kitchen only to find the other man standing in the open back door, his arms crossed over his chest, shoulder leaned against the wooden door jam in an easy fashion. “Jack, who the hell is leaving tiny notes everywhere?” He asked his lovers back, who was obvious too enamored with whatever was out in the back garden.
“Me.”
Ianto paused, he wasn’t expecting that to be the answer. “What, why?” He asked, walking up next to Jack. “What the hell are they doing?” He questioned, seeing Lacey and Tessa kneeling down by a flower bed, poking around it.
“Looking for mouse fairies.”
“Mouse fair.... Jack!” Ianto scolded, looking at his lover disapprovingly. “You know that book is fiction, there is no such things as mouse fairies.”
“I know.” Jack said, chuckling softly as both girls giggled at something, the sound drifting up on the cooling late evening air.
“Then why are you doing this?”
Jack shrugged softly, still watching his daughters. “Dad and his weird stories.” He said simply.
Ianto nodded, his eyes softening. Jack was always just cast off by the kids, his stories shucked off as silly or boring or, god forbid, old. For once they were enamored with something he had told them, and it was sweet. The Welshman just smiled a little lopsided smile, looking at their daughters out in the garden. “They are cute.” Jack just hummed in agreement. “Shall I go get a camera?” He asked with a smirk.
Jack smiled one of his usual bright smiled, finally looking at the other man. “You read my mind.” He chuckled, Ianto kissing his cheek before re-entering the house in search of their camera. Jack turned his attention back to where the two girls were now looking through the long grass around the base of the tree that stood in the yard, laughing and smiling about something. Sure, Jack knew their search would turn up nothing. But for the moment they were happy, and he wasn’t just a dad with weird dad stories.
Love it? Hate it? Comments are ♥♥♥