(no subject)
Just another rainy day in April. Not much happened in the past two hours. Just studying a little. Rainy days make it difficult for me to focus for some reason. Why is it that rain usually causes people to want to crawl into bed and sleep the day away? Who knows, right? Days like this also make me feel... Well... Stupid in a way. Most people don't seem themselves on rainy days. Have you noticed that? Maybe in some odd way or another, they want to head for home and bed too. None of that for me today. Well, a nap would be nice but no such luck. Lots of work to do as well as anouncements to send off for graduation in a few weeks. We only get to invite six people per graduate. Less mailing for me. Better post this before this storm kicks me off the Net. Living in PB isn't where you want to be if you want to surf the net. Goes out all the time at the drop of a hat. I'm headed to Memphis this summer to see my dad for a few weeks though. The connection is alot faster there. Might as well pack up my new PC and take it along. Why not? Besides, I'll be able to write in this thing while I'm there. Lots to do in Memphis. More on that some other time maybe. No, I don't party or anything. If you enjoy that type of thing, loud music, clubs and the like, have fun. I've never gone and don't plan to. Call me boring if you want. I prefer to hear myself think while having a conversation. It is difficult to communicate when you're in such a setting, I bet. I've known a few blind people who club though. "Oh man it's great although I don't really remember what I did cause I was so freakin drunk," one of them would say. Why in the world would you consider that fun? Me, I'd want to remember what I did. Are you one of those who stop when they're buzzed? Cool beans. What's that like? Is it like being wacked with a huge rubber hammer while you sit around feeling slightly happier than usual. You can't really like the taste of that stuff, can you? No matter how much fruit flavoring you put in there, isn't there still an aftertaste? I wouldn't know. I don't think I'd like it though. I bet I'd notice an aftertaste if there was one. Maybe it's like diet DP times a thousand no matter what you mix in there. Or maybe not. Dunno. There are numerous drinks out there and you're reading the scribblings of a guy who is ignorant when it comes to this stuff. Uh huh, you guessed it. I'm an alcohol vergin. I've seen people hung over the next morning and don't wish to be over a toilet puking, that's another reason why I don't drink. "Aw, you don't know what you're missing ya panzy," some say. Apparently from what I've heard and smelled, not very much. If you're able to hold your liquor and don't have such problems in terms of losing control and always finding yourself purched over the throne... Wow, pretty impressive stuff there, buddy. You're doing better than some of the guys I've come across. I'd rather go see a musical on a Saturday night. I'd love to see Wicked. Maybe one of these days I'll be able to. Friends of mine have worn out countless sound tracks and I heard some of them got to see it on Choir tour a few weeks back. Way to go, guys. Hope it was all you thought it'd be. I own the book and have been meaning to listen to it. Too much to do though. But it is a rainy day and I have been saving it. It is a lengthy novel. I think it lasts 16 Cds. I'm a quarter of the way through the ting. Haven't read it since October of 06 though. Wow, should really consider picking it up again. Boy, what a musical. I just hope I get to experience it before the thing stops showing. Yep, I'd rather experience theater than party scenes. I've considered going dancing though minus the drinking. Still, I don't think I'd get much out of it due to it being so loud. I'd be deaf as well as blind. ha ha Not much conversation goes on at clubs, I imagine. Coffee shops are where you'll find me. I'm able to participate in what goes on there. Partying seems too fast for me. "Oh dude, you should go," they tell me. "You can forget about all the crap you deal with. Just leave it at the door and forget it for a night." You can't really. It'll be there when you come to the next day, I expect. If it works for some of you, and if you like all the music and lights and whatnot, have fun. Be careful though. Some people I've known party too much and eventually discover that they can't really stop no matter how hard they try. I've seen mistakes made and people who have to live with those mistakes for the remainder of their lives. It is... unsettling. Oh, but we're young and that stuff can't happen to us, right? We're not invinsible even though we like to think we are. Sure it can happen to us if we're not careful. I don't want to party. I have a career to start and a family to think about providing for some day if I am fortunate enough to find someone. Folks who can party on the weekends and go to work the week after are stronger than I am. I don't think I could manage that. You know, if I were to start to party and all that jazz, and if I were to marry someone who enjoyed that type of thing, what if we had kids? And suppose that the partying continues until we both wake up one morning and realize that our kids have grown up right under our noses and we've wasted countless weekends we could have spent with them by sending them to stay with so and so. There is a great deal to consider when you're planning on marrying. No, I don't think I've met said bride to be yet, but I'd like to be prepared for as much as I can. Kids. To actually imagine myself a father. That's crazy. I hope I stay married to the same woman until the day one of us leaves this Earth. In this day and age, can such a thing still be possible? Here's hoping. Both of us have to work hard in terms of making it work though, I know that much. No such thing as the word I in marriage. I'm old fashioned when it comes to that. Two people come together and the end result is something new. A bond between the two that can not-- that must not be broken. You're able to tell how the other is feeling without even having to ask. Sometimes you can even finish one another's sentences if you're that close. I hope to be with her, whoever she is. She's something special, I know that much. Wonder how she's liking this cloudy day in early April of 08. Does she even exist or am I kidding myself? As of now, she is hiden from me in the mists of a future impossible to see. I only hope I missed her already. Is there someone specifically made for each of us out there? Or does luck and chance bring people together? Soulmates. Is there such a thing? If so, I'm the wrong person to be on the lookout for mine. But then again, who else is going to be. Or are we in control of who we choose to marry. Can we just take our pick and have done with it? I don't know what to believe in such a time as this when some marriages don't even last for six months. Luck and chance. No, I don't buy it. I believe there is a God and that he sent his son to bare the sins of all generations who would otherwise crumble under the weight of them. As to whether or not he has someone specific in mind for me or if the choice is up to me... No clue. No, I'm not one of those who can say,"I talk to God and he answered me and said here she is!" Nope, I'm not legalistic either and don't intend to go into my beliefs unless people want to know, by the way. Ask some time but I will never force them on anyone. Maybe the choice to marry whoever is mine alone and there is no such thing as soulmates. She's out there somewhere, no matter how you slice it and I must be ready to do my part when the time comes. This, I know, is certain. And what about this love at first sight business? Does that apply to me? Either way, none of this stuff concerning me going my way and her going her own if I can help it. No divorce if I have anything to say about it. That involves more than just sitting in front of the idiot box and not talking in the evenings, I bet. I'm all about quality time and actually talking to one another. Verbal communication has to exist in a marriage. The guy can't be all clammed up. At least, I don't think so. Most of the time whenever women ask us what we think, we give one word answers and that is all we want to give. Marriages could fail as a result of lack of communication. Trust is a big issue too, i am told. So is being faithful to the one to which you devote the rest of your life. Quite alot to think about. But then, I've got the time. I'll probably not see 30 or 35 before I marry. But as a wise old Jedi Master once said,"Difficult to see. Always in motion is the future." Also in marriage, when you pledge to take so and so to be yours, you don't say you'll try. No, people always say,"I do." Gives a whole meaning to that,"Do or do not. There is no try," stuff, eh? No trying about it when I marry. I won't try when it comes to supporting. I will do. Yeah, the little green guy with the pointy ears makes alot of sense when you think about it. This is shaping up to be a rather long entry. Looks like I've said all I felt like saying regarding this stuff. I think I analyse just a bit too much. But when you're without sight, you tend to be less distracted, or that's what folks in my family tend to say. I think it makes blind folks sound stuck up. Wild when you think about it though. You're mind works overtime, or at least the part that analyses and computes. Whatever. I call it thinking too much. I write too much also. But since writing is described by some as channeling your thoughts and feelings from mind to paper, it makes sense. You think alot? Ok then, so you're more likely to write alot. Well, enough rambling for now at least. I gots things to do like studying. More later, maybe. Should try to see how the spell check feature on this thing works. If it works with Jaws, is what I mean to say.