vacancy
How do I begin to tell the tale?
My kid is 5. He is a light in a dark abyss. Some time last year I found she has been hooking up and meeting with a friend of mine since 2013. They smashed a few times, in the house she bought. I left to my mas for a bit, but couldn't stay gone, being away from Curin wasn't good emotionally. I was unemployed for like a year or so before the pandemic. I got a job working for orcam for like 2 weeks before everything got shut down.
I am finding it difficult for anything. I have pure love for my son. I don't have any feeling towards his mom. I mean I go through the motions, but feel absolutely nothing. I go through eating, raising my son, sex, and everything else but feel nothing. It is a complete withdrawal. It is rather unsettling. Trying to keep up this charade until Curin is 18 may truly be the death of me. No I'm not gonna do anythingdrastic. The withdrawal from everything is down right scary. I use to be in tune with emotions, it is something I took pride in.
I am going to school for my teaching certificate . It originally started as a means of of keeping my mind busy. An idle mind is the devil's playground. I can't seem to enjoy anything...
Some months ago during the pandemic I realized I just always felt tired, sluggish and came to the realization it most likely is depression. I live with the thought if I can give something a name, then I can combat it. So it helps me stay focused and diligent so I don't let depression over power me.
I get some parents can leave their kid, visit on weekends and so on. Not me, I'm not built that way. Emotionally it would destroy me. He's in kindergarten and does site words, and is exceeding in math. He goes to school. and is wonderful. He did wrestling for a season and didn't really enjoy it. Still loves baseball He's been on four teams in 3 years... Football is his new obsession, he cried when the Chiefs lost. Huge kansas fan.
My thoughts are scatttered. There is so much more to everything, but don't have the energy. Brother still lives with me and back to fucking up...
The brother in Japan got married to a Japanese girl like he said he would, lol.
I got accepted for a guide dog in Michigan. I had to turn down a job, but should be working it next time it comes up.
I got a vending machine at my sister's batting cage she opened, so have a little money comingin...
Gonna go for now...
Posted via m.livejournal.com.
My kid is 5. He is a light in a dark abyss. Some time last year I found she has been hooking up and meeting with a friend of mine since 2013. They smashed a few times, in the house she bought. I left to my mas for a bit, but couldn't stay gone, being away from Curin wasn't good emotionally. I was unemployed for like a year or so before the pandemic. I got a job working for orcam for like 2 weeks before everything got shut down.
I am finding it difficult for anything. I have pure love for my son. I don't have any feeling towards his mom. I mean I go through the motions, but feel absolutely nothing. I go through eating, raising my son, sex, and everything else but feel nothing. It is a complete withdrawal. It is rather unsettling. Trying to keep up this charade until Curin is 18 may truly be the death of me. No I'm not gonna do anythingdrastic. The withdrawal from everything is down right scary. I use to be in tune with emotions, it is something I took pride in.
I am going to school for my teaching certificate . It originally started as a means of of keeping my mind busy. An idle mind is the devil's playground. I can't seem to enjoy anything...
Some months ago during the pandemic I realized I just always felt tired, sluggish and came to the realization it most likely is depression. I live with the thought if I can give something a name, then I can combat it. So it helps me stay focused and diligent so I don't let depression over power me.
I get some parents can leave their kid, visit on weekends and so on. Not me, I'm not built that way. Emotionally it would destroy me. He's in kindergarten and does site words, and is exceeding in math. He goes to school. and is wonderful. He did wrestling for a season and didn't really enjoy it. Still loves baseball He's been on four teams in 3 years... Football is his new obsession, he cried when the Chiefs lost. Huge kansas fan.
My thoughts are scatttered. There is so much more to everything, but don't have the energy. Brother still lives with me and back to fucking up...
The brother in Japan got married to a Japanese girl like he said he would, lol.
I got accepted for a guide dog in Michigan. I had to turn down a job, but should be working it next time it comes up.
I got a vending machine at my sister's batting cage she opened, so have a little money comingin...
Gonna go for now...
Posted via m.livejournal.com.