random feelings.
the love you can't have lasts the longest, feels the strongest, and hurts the most.
so basically the last journal entry i made is definiely still intact. thats the majority of how i feel right now.
i hate that no matter what people may say, friendships will always change. no matter what. you can try your hardest not to let it happen, but it's inevitable. i miss doing stupid shit with jackiep. and i miss talking every night to jack about everything. i know he's still there to talk to and blah blah blah, but i dont think people understand that it's not the same. it's so hard to explain, but its just not the same.
i hate the fact that this month has been the best, yet the worst. i grew so much closer to some friends, and so far from others. how is that possible? how is it possible to be having the best time of your life, yet going through the roughest changes? i don't understand it. i've had so many let downs these past months. and there were so many times where i didn't feel like doing anything but crawling into a ball and crying.
somehow, these amazing friends of mine dragged me out of the house and i had the best times of my life. yet, when i would go home, my mood would change completely and i'd be back where i started. i hate that. i hate the way i feel sometimes. it's ridiculous.
i love my new little group of friends. well, i guess they're not new, im just spending a lot more time with them. lis and barry have definitely been showing some good times recently, and i appreciate it a lot. i know its annoying to take time away from being with each other, but i definitely am grateful to have such caring friends. they may not realize it, but it means a lot. especially in times like this. and ashley, oh boy. she's just amazing. i dont believe i've ever met someone that understood me as much as she can. its crazy. shes constantly there for me; i cant thank her enough.
i guess things are going to happen, people are going to change, and life moves on, right? you can't stay friends with everyone.
i think i might start a new journal. im debating.
so basically the last journal entry i made is definiely still intact. thats the majority of how i feel right now.
i hate that no matter what people may say, friendships will always change. no matter what. you can try your hardest not to let it happen, but it's inevitable. i miss doing stupid shit with jackiep. and i miss talking every night to jack about everything. i know he's still there to talk to and blah blah blah, but i dont think people understand that it's not the same. it's so hard to explain, but its just not the same.
i hate the fact that this month has been the best, yet the worst. i grew so much closer to some friends, and so far from others. how is that possible? how is it possible to be having the best time of your life, yet going through the roughest changes? i don't understand it. i've had so many let downs these past months. and there were so many times where i didn't feel like doing anything but crawling into a ball and crying.
somehow, these amazing friends of mine dragged me out of the house and i had the best times of my life. yet, when i would go home, my mood would change completely and i'd be back where i started. i hate that. i hate the way i feel sometimes. it's ridiculous.
i love my new little group of friends. well, i guess they're not new, im just spending a lot more time with them. lis and barry have definitely been showing some good times recently, and i appreciate it a lot. i know its annoying to take time away from being with each other, but i definitely am grateful to have such caring friends. they may not realize it, but it means a lot. especially in times like this. and ashley, oh boy. she's just amazing. i dont believe i've ever met someone that understood me as much as she can. its crazy. shes constantly there for me; i cant thank her enough.
i guess things are going to happen, people are going to change, and life moves on, right? you can't stay friends with everyone.
i think i might start a new journal. im debating.