(no subject)
csi is a rerun tonight. therefore, i decided to update my journal.
recently, little petty things have been surfacing and completely eating away at my mind. why? because i'm so sensitive. I give a damn about everything. I over think every word that someone important in my life says to me. why? because i'm dependent. and you know what? i hate it. no matter how hard i try to forget things, i can't. words stick in my mind so clearly and loudly.
well, sometimes i get so tired of people's attitudes and the way they carry themselves. be happy. there is so much to live for! everything is so much better and more fun when you're happy. why waste any time being nasty and petty? there's no point! it's all forgotten in a matter of time, so forgive and forget, my loves!! why even make it known that you have a problem? just keep it to yourself and move on. i know need to take my own advice in some cases, but hey - no one is perfect. i know i always feel like if i am upset/angry at someone, they have to know. that's not true. it's so much easier if you try to forget it and realize just how stupid that little thing is!
still, like i said, spoken words stick in my mind. they're hard to forget. and it doesnt help when you come up and say "my friend and i never have these kinds of problems. we never get mad at each other. we never argue." i mean, thanks for the fill-me-in, but i don't really want to hear that at that moment, okay? i'm most likely already upset enough, and hearing that only makes me feel like a shitty friend. so, if i say something like that to you- slap me. right there. and hard. because i deserve it.
and this entry is completely random. but that's okay. because in my mind, it makes sense! i'm exhausted. halloween was fun. kendell puts me in a good mood. i should hang out with him more often. justin puts me in a bad mood. i shouldn't hang out with him as much. the end =)!
<3 ahh. much better. now i can think happier thoughts for bedtime!!!
recently, little petty things have been surfacing and completely eating away at my mind. why? because i'm so sensitive. I give a damn about everything. I over think every word that someone important in my life says to me. why? because i'm dependent. and you know what? i hate it. no matter how hard i try to forget things, i can't. words stick in my mind so clearly and loudly.
well, sometimes i get so tired of people's attitudes and the way they carry themselves. be happy. there is so much to live for! everything is so much better and more fun when you're happy. why waste any time being nasty and petty? there's no point! it's all forgotten in a matter of time, so forgive and forget, my loves!! why even make it known that you have a problem? just keep it to yourself and move on. i know need to take my own advice in some cases, but hey - no one is perfect. i know i always feel like if i am upset/angry at someone, they have to know. that's not true. it's so much easier if you try to forget it and realize just how stupid that little thing is!
still, like i said, spoken words stick in my mind. they're hard to forget. and it doesnt help when you come up and say "my friend and i never have these kinds of problems. we never get mad at each other. we never argue." i mean, thanks for the fill-me-in, but i don't really want to hear that at that moment, okay? i'm most likely already upset enough, and hearing that only makes me feel like a shitty friend. so, if i say something like that to you- slap me. right there. and hard. because i deserve it.
and this entry is completely random. but that's okay. because in my mind, it makes sense! i'm exhausted. halloween was fun. kendell puts me in a good mood. i should hang out with him more often. justin puts me in a bad mood. i shouldn't hang out with him as much. the end =)!
<3 ahh. much better. now i can think happier thoughts for bedtime!!!