Sick Cycle Carosel
You know that song by Lifehouse called "Sick Cycle Carosel"? Well i've always felt that that song describes how i am w/relationships (or lack thereof). Everything always happens exactly the same. I find a guy i think is attractive and can imagine myself with him but then i get too scared of rejection and run away before anything can happen. I know that it won't kill me if i do get rejected but it doesn't make it any easier. Especially since i have a bad habit of picking people that i will see every day or nearly every day so rejection would make the situation awkward.
Do you ever feel like the person upstairs hates you? or at least has it out for you? I know this is college and things are different...guys are a tad bit better (some of them actually open doors...what a concept!) but i still can't change myself. i hoped i would be able to...but i guess it's going to take longer than i thought. my roommate is trying to help me b/c she's good with that kind of stuff but i still dont' know if i can change. i think moving and stuff has made me afraid of change...though it should have made me used to it...the friend situation is a little better but not much. i still miss my highschool friends and haven't really been branching out. It seems like everyone has one friend that they go do everything with and i havent found that person yet. it seems it takes longer and longer for me to find that friend with each move. ugh...someone help me! i've got more theories that i will add later cuz now i have to go to class...maybe i'll just focus on school and getting A's so i can get into NYU law school. yeah, that's what i'll do...gah!!!
Do you ever feel like the person upstairs hates you? or at least has it out for you? I know this is college and things are different...guys are a tad bit better (some of them actually open doors...what a concept!) but i still can't change myself. i hoped i would be able to...but i guess it's going to take longer than i thought. my roommate is trying to help me b/c she's good with that kind of stuff but i still dont' know if i can change. i think moving and stuff has made me afraid of change...though it should have made me used to it...the friend situation is a little better but not much. i still miss my highschool friends and haven't really been branching out. It seems like everyone has one friend that they go do everything with and i havent found that person yet. it seems it takes longer and longer for me to find that friend with each move. ugh...someone help me! i've got more theories that i will add later cuz now i have to go to class...maybe i'll just focus on school and getting A's so i can get into NYU law school. yeah, that's what i'll do...gah!!!