2005
i don't believe that there was any one, spectacular event that happened this year. it was very jam-packed with tons of things. it was just this whirlwind of happiness, love, brokenheartedness, and all kinds of fucked up. some things have happened that have completely changed my outlook on life, or perhaps even shattered my perceptions of people and what i thought i believed. im not going to say something gay like "it all made me stronger" or some stupid shit, but i definantly feel myself reshaping all the time. this could be either good or bad; time will only tell.
this year i truly revelled in the fact that being a real adult now, anything that sucks as far as people go, is not my problem anymore. it's not like highschool, like you have to associate with people who hurt you all the time, or people that just plain annoy the fuck out of you. it's liberating to realize that you really have more control over your feelings than you think. if someone's only there to hurt you or cause you trouble, they don't have to exist anymore.
one of my biggest realizations for myself personally is that im actually very academically intelligent. in high school i never tried, and i think alot of it has to do with the fact that i believed i was stupid, and i had every source to tell me so. i've never gotten all A's in my life until now. i know that dosen't seem like that big of a deal to most people, but it is a huge accomplishment for me. i never thought id actually make it to college, let alone do well in it. so this has been a tremendous realization for me. i know im flaky and it's a running joke that im an airhead, but now i actually know that im really not dumb, and that's all that matters.
as far as relationships go, this is the longest one i've ever been in before. it'll be 2 years next month. i have absolutely no regrets as far as that goes, and i've never truly been this happy before in my life. i know everyone says things like that but i mean it. with everything else going on in my life at the moment that just rips my heart to shreds, this person always makes me feel like everything is going to ok. i feel extremely lucky <3.
so in retrospect i can sum this year up to:
*my dad sucks
*....alot of people suck
*im smart
*wes is the awesome
and i think that's it.
this year i truly revelled in the fact that being a real adult now, anything that sucks as far as people go, is not my problem anymore. it's not like highschool, like you have to associate with people who hurt you all the time, or people that just plain annoy the fuck out of you. it's liberating to realize that you really have more control over your feelings than you think. if someone's only there to hurt you or cause you trouble, they don't have to exist anymore.
one of my biggest realizations for myself personally is that im actually very academically intelligent. in high school i never tried, and i think alot of it has to do with the fact that i believed i was stupid, and i had every source to tell me so. i've never gotten all A's in my life until now. i know that dosen't seem like that big of a deal to most people, but it is a huge accomplishment for me. i never thought id actually make it to college, let alone do well in it. so this has been a tremendous realization for me. i know im flaky and it's a running joke that im an airhead, but now i actually know that im really not dumb, and that's all that matters.
as far as relationships go, this is the longest one i've ever been in before. it'll be 2 years next month. i have absolutely no regrets as far as that goes, and i've never truly been this happy before in my life. i know everyone says things like that but i mean it. with everything else going on in my life at the moment that just rips my heart to shreds, this person always makes me feel like everything is going to ok. i feel extremely lucky <3.
so in retrospect i can sum this year up to:
*my dad sucks
*....alot of people suck
*im smart
*wes is the awesome
and i think that's it.