tangibility
I've always been very focused on tangibility. I care about things I can see and it's very shallow on so many levels. I care about the books on my shelf rather than the books I've read. I care about the pages of my journal being full, rather than quality in the writing. I care about a nice figure in my bank account, and what I look like in the mirror. I take pictures to capture memories, and always make sure to post the ones I look fabulous in. I focus on the exterior so much, the interior has no time to grow.
God has been difficult for me to fully grasp for so many reasons, but I think this is the primary problem. To me, God just isn't tangible enough.
I'm still battling with this in Korea. My priority list consists of going to the gym, and working more to acquire more financial success... I keep forgetting to breathe and just love the life I'm living. So with this in mind, I'm going to come home for Christmas. Not because it makes the most sense. It really doesn't at all. I won't be able to add it to a list of cool adventures I've had this year, it's just home. It's not some grande tangible accomplishment - if anything it's me recognizing my vulnerability and need for the friends and family that I left behind this year. I don't care about any of this. I am coming home because that is something I want to do.
God has been difficult for me to fully grasp for so many reasons, but I think this is the primary problem. To me, God just isn't tangible enough.
I'm still battling with this in Korea. My priority list consists of going to the gym, and working more to acquire more financial success... I keep forgetting to breathe and just love the life I'm living. So with this in mind, I'm going to come home for Christmas. Not because it makes the most sense. It really doesn't at all. I won't be able to add it to a list of cool adventures I've had this year, it's just home. It's not some grande tangible accomplishment - if anything it's me recognizing my vulnerability and need for the friends and family that I left behind this year. I don't care about any of this. I am coming home because that is something I want to do.