(no subject)
haha, yeah, so in case you were still wondering (NOT THAT THIS IS A SECRET BY ANY MEANS), i've been failing at life for 2011. and most of 2010. and probably some of 2009, too. uhhhhh, i need to get my shit together. X(
about this? i wrote three midterms before spring break and even though i got 65% on one and 74% on another, they're both Cs. don't know about the third one yet, but i'm guessing it can't be much better. more Cs, yay. i mean, this makes four Cs in total, so i'm kind of getting desensitized to see them scrawled on my work all red and ugly, but I CAN'T EVEN BE A BAD STUDENT CORRECTLY. i don't feel badly for not studying but when i get crappy grades, i do. :| and these are crappy in a serious way. one professor did say that out of a class of maybe forty students, only nine managed to get into the A or B range for one exam, which makes me think it was particularly difficult, but more likely it was my lack of effort that did it. and i just. don't. care. this semester i've almost stopped caring completely. sort of alarming. shouldn't a person give a shit about actually completing their classes? my major and a good deal of my minor are mind-numbing, but the thing is, they're some of the only subjects i'm interested in. mmm, paradox. it's not just the stupid assignments anymore, it's me... failing to see the point of trying harder. WHY AM I HERE?? WHAT AM I LEARNING?? THIS CLASS IS BORING.
... which is essentially where my head is at right now. i don't know how to rectify this. my failing at rp is at least simple--get off my ass and post. otherwise, ugh. i don't want to write anymore essays, or reports, or discussion questions, ever. ever ever ever.
i guess that's a bit melodramatic, though. (uh, maybe not my hate for assignments.) i care, but everything's just so tedious to me right now. even damned. sorry, bb, but it's true. D: part of the problem's just having so much shit pile up that it seems impossible to deal with so OF COURSE the best solution is to ignore it and put it off which makes everything worse and puts me in this sort of head space. and i happen to do procrastination very well. A+++!
why hello there, malaise. you're such a special friend to me.
on a sidenote: it's kind of lonely on lj now that everyone's left. X| living in my head isn't fun. i want to be where you are~ except facebook, because i have standards.
on another sidenote: maybe you should've actually done some work during your goddamn nine day break, too, self. that might've helped.
about this? i wrote three midterms before spring break and even though i got 65% on one and 74% on another, they're both Cs. don't know about the third one yet, but i'm guessing it can't be much better. more Cs, yay. i mean, this makes four Cs in total, so i'm kind of getting desensitized to see them scrawled on my work all red and ugly, but I CAN'T EVEN BE A BAD STUDENT CORRECTLY. i don't feel badly for not studying but when i get crappy grades, i do. :| and these are crappy in a serious way. one professor did say that out of a class of maybe forty students, only nine managed to get into the A or B range for one exam, which makes me think it was particularly difficult, but more likely it was my lack of effort that did it. and i just. don't. care. this semester i've almost stopped caring completely. sort of alarming. shouldn't a person give a shit about actually completing their classes? my major and a good deal of my minor are mind-numbing, but the thing is, they're some of the only subjects i'm interested in. mmm, paradox. it's not just the stupid assignments anymore, it's me... failing to see the point of trying harder. WHY AM I HERE?? WHAT AM I LEARNING?? THIS CLASS IS BORING.
... which is essentially where my head is at right now. i don't know how to rectify this. my failing at rp is at least simple--get off my ass and post. otherwise, ugh. i don't want to write anymore essays, or reports, or discussion questions, ever. ever ever ever.
i guess that's a bit melodramatic, though. (uh, maybe not my hate for assignments.) i care, but everything's just so tedious to me right now. even damned. sorry, bb, but it's true. D: part of the problem's just having so much shit pile up that it seems impossible to deal with so OF COURSE the best solution is to ignore it and put it off which makes everything worse and puts me in this sort of head space. and i happen to do procrastination very well. A+++!
why hello there, malaise. you're such a special friend to me.
on a sidenote: it's kind of lonely on lj now that everyone's left. X| living in my head isn't fun. i want to be where you are~ except facebook, because i have standards.
on another sidenote: maybe you should've actually done some work during your goddamn nine day break, too, self. that might've helped.