a bad hand of cards

[blind__spots]

"we may be through with the past, but the past isn't through with us"

:Ground floor

feeling like theres not enough to offer anyone
knowing who to blame
and left with no tools to fix it

i dont have the time or energy to fully analyze and define
and a big part of that is because i dont want to
give it eleven more years
and i still wont want to
i dont want to do things i need to do

:One

her rock
and his reason
at nineteen

:Two

growing up and out and different

:Three

knowing exactly what i want and need
and not being patient enough to wait for it
i am the queen of settling for less
in just about every sense
but being patient makes me feel like ill wait forever
and get nowhere

:Four

picking a one way window
this heart is fucking dumbass