Same 'ol
So, I'm here at work, doing the same 'ol shit I do every day, working in the same 'ol cubicle, and listening to the same 'ol office bullshit. If anyone is wondering what "office bullshit" is, I've listed a few of my observations:
--These are listed in no particular order--
1. Being nice to someone you can't stand
2. The phrase "Hi! How are you today?" or "How was your weekend?" The person invariably replies "good", "great", or "fine".
3. Soft rock or light rock radio
4. Making small talk about movies, video games, weather, or any other nauseating subject that has no interest to me whatsoever when speaking to people in the office
5. Being nice to bosses
6. People getting excited when something new is happening. This can manifest in many ways, but it usually happens when someone decides to bring in doughnuts or some kind of pastry for everyone to pig out on. It's like watching a pack of wolves.
7. Pretending to laugh at other's stupid jokes
8. People getting upset because they have too much work and decide to take it out on you when you ask them for a favor.
9. Asking for favors.
10. Workers who like to advance their career and persona by making others look bad and creating "cliques" to talk shit with. If you are not familiar with this concept, watch "Survivor". It's the perfect simile for the business world.
11. Handoffs. This usually happens when someone decides that you are the person to handle their problem, so they push it off on you with some lame-ass excuse like "isn't this your department?" or "didn't you used to do this?" or, my all time favorite, "can you help me with something?"
12. Having to listen to that loud mouth worker who always blabs about his/her (usually a her) personal shit while everyone has to endure listening, since they're talking so loud everyone can hear them.
13. Doing favors for that same person who bitched at you.
14. Knowing someone is bullshitting you about some stupid process and not being able to call them on it.
15. The executive "meet and greet". This happens once a month, maybe once every two months, where an exec. will grace us with his presence and ask everyone how they are doing. Mind you, this is NOT the CEO, this is merely our sales executive that sells accounts and brings in revenue. Every once in a while, he decides to come up and try to be cool with everyone. He mingles and laughs with us for about 5 minutes, then is off to bigger and better things, while feeling good about doing his part for "team morale". I keep thinking, "you're a fucking salesman..." nuff said...
16. Fancy titles on email signatures like "Procurment Lead Specialist". I'm waiting for the day I see some cool ones like "Envelope Stuffer", "Just A Salesman", "The Boss", or "Your Daddy". Enough with overstating WHAT you are just to make it sound important and impressive. It's not like they have a PhD in the field, because if they did THAT would definitely be in the signature!
17. Political correctness in the workplace. "I'm not black, I'm African-American"...yeah, but your not from Africa. I think I'm going to have everyone start referring to me as Justin, the Cuban-Lebanese-American, and if they don't, I'll sue their fucking ass.
18. People who congregate in the lunch room, or outside ones cubicle, to talk about what diet they are currently on.
19. Flirting in the workplace
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That's all I can think of for now. Later.
--These are listed in no particular order--
1. Being nice to someone you can't stand
2. The phrase "Hi! How are you today?" or "How was your weekend?" The person invariably replies "good", "great", or "fine".
3. Soft rock or light rock radio
4. Making small talk about movies, video games, weather, or any other nauseating subject that has no interest to me whatsoever when speaking to people in the office
5. Being nice to bosses
6. People getting excited when something new is happening. This can manifest in many ways, but it usually happens when someone decides to bring in doughnuts or some kind of pastry for everyone to pig out on. It's like watching a pack of wolves.
7. Pretending to laugh at other's stupid jokes
8. People getting upset because they have too much work and decide to take it out on you when you ask them for a favor.
9. Asking for favors.
10. Workers who like to advance their career and persona by making others look bad and creating "cliques" to talk shit with. If you are not familiar with this concept, watch "Survivor". It's the perfect simile for the business world.
11. Handoffs. This usually happens when someone decides that you are the person to handle their problem, so they push it off on you with some lame-ass excuse like "isn't this your department?" or "didn't you used to do this?" or, my all time favorite, "can you help me with something?"
12. Having to listen to that loud mouth worker who always blabs about his/her (usually a her) personal shit while everyone has to endure listening, since they're talking so loud everyone can hear them.
13. Doing favors for that same person who bitched at you.
14. Knowing someone is bullshitting you about some stupid process and not being able to call them on it.
15. The executive "meet and greet". This happens once a month, maybe once every two months, where an exec. will grace us with his presence and ask everyone how they are doing. Mind you, this is NOT the CEO, this is merely our sales executive that sells accounts and brings in revenue. Every once in a while, he decides to come up and try to be cool with everyone. He mingles and laughs with us for about 5 minutes, then is off to bigger and better things, while feeling good about doing his part for "team morale". I keep thinking, "you're a fucking salesman..." nuff said...
16. Fancy titles on email signatures like "Procurment Lead Specialist". I'm waiting for the day I see some cool ones like "Envelope Stuffer", "Just A Salesman", "The Boss", or "Your Daddy". Enough with overstating WHAT you are just to make it sound important and impressive. It's not like they have a PhD in the field, because if they did THAT would definitely be in the signature!
17. Political correctness in the workplace. "I'm not black, I'm African-American"...yeah, but your not from Africa. I think I'm going to have everyone start referring to me as Justin, the Cuban-Lebanese-American, and if they don't, I'll sue their fucking ass.
18. People who congregate in the lunch room, or outside ones cubicle, to talk about what diet they are currently on.
19. Flirting in the workplace
------------------
That's all I can think of for now. Later.