My Life Exploded.

[blick_aufs_meer]

I deleted that last entry because it was unfair, and unkind.
We broke up because we needed to breakup.
that's it.

For some reason whenever I hook up with someone, within' a few months I'm super clingy, and I smother the hell out of them, every ex-girlfriend I have will attest to that.
This happened to coincide with Natalie going back to school/moving/being super busy, and she just couldn't handle having to put up with someone as needy as myself.

In the process, I pushed her away.
Like I always do when thrown up against a wall.

I just lost The greatest girl I've ever had.

Then a four and a half day bender later...

I lost the best job I've ever had.

and just around the corner now, if i don't find work soon...

I can see me loosing my apartment.

So here I sit at the public library, trying to come up with a way to put back together the pieces of my shattered life that up until a couple of weeks ago seemed almost perfect.

For the first time in over a year.
I feel pathetic.
I am embarrassed to be who I am,
and feel like dying.

I thought I left all of this dramatic headcase crap in halifax?
apparently I just buried it for a while.

Maybe I should just give up on a life out here just like every other eastcoast kid and move the hell home.

I need something awesome to happen to me RIGHT NOW
or I'll loose it.

maybe I already HAVE lost it.
whatever.
Thanx for the inherited sense of human drama Mom.
your DNA sucks.

I really SHOULD never have children.

Sorry Ms. Lawson.
We both Know you're better off anyhow.

end drama.
Tomorrow's a new day.
hopefully.

This Pay cut is gonna hurt.