[74]
Relationships have kind of been everywhere -- in all states -- lately. Some ending, some beginning, some taking strange turns.
It gets me thinking about relationships, seeing so many relationships. Everything going on has been seeming so...high school. So juvenile. Granted, some of the relationships I'm referencing ARE high school, but even the adult ones seem stupid and poorly thought out. I know I'm not the leading expert on relationships, but common sense still applies.
There's a "honeymoon" stage to each STAGE in a relationship. I don't think people understand that. Of course you're going to want to always feel like that, like you're so extremely happy and you're floating on clouds. But it's not going to happen. It happens in fiction. We aren't fiction. We're faulty creatures. We make mistakes. We make bad decisions on purpose. So of course you're going to find something wrong with your relationship. They're going to do something that you don't like. It's learning to deal with and accept those things that denotes whether your relationship can take a "next" level.
Another thing. So many people see an incompatible relationship as a failure. How? What's wrong with experimenting to find the right person? It's like a box of Valentine's chocolates. Some you hate right off. So you chuck 'em and don't eat 'em. Some start out awesome, but then suck. And you wish you'd never eaten it. Some are just amazing and you want them to last forever, but everything runs out. Every honeymoon has an end. But that doesn't mean you didn't learn (or, rather, that you shouldn't have, as seems more appropriate these days) from them. You figure out what you like and what you don't like. Getting the right box the right time takes time. And sometimes you gotta wait a long time to find it again. That's about where the chocolate analogy falls apart, though. Because you can find and make a relationship work.
Mostly I'm taken aback at how quickly relationships happen. Like people don't think, they just act. Don't consider the consequences or the implications, don't worry about who you'll hurt or insult. That's what you wanna do, so you're gonna do it. I can understand being spontaneous. It's a part of being human, too. An essential part, even. Seriously, though. Think. How can someone be ready to MARRY another person after knowing them for a handful of months? Even if you're living with them?
I don't know much about my baby sister's relationships, but she's a pretty damn smart kid. None of them have been serious enough to introduce to the family (or maybe she was just too embarrassed of us to do introductions, completely possible) and as soon as she catches a whiff of bullshit, she ships out. She never got serious in high school, which is probably the best decision for her. I'm not saying she's a saint (HELL NO) or anything, but she had herself figured out. That happened to include a plan to focus on herself and her friends (much to my parents' dismay on the latter), not worry about an adolescent relationship that probably had no future. Obviously, that isn't the choice for everyone. I started dating Shawn my freshman year and we seem to have a handle on things. But let's face it, not many high schoolers (or young adults shortly free of it) are willing to make the same kind of commitment we were. Not many are willing to actually communicate to get their needs met and their voices heard. Not many accept that they're wrong, that they need to change, that a relationship requires both people to make sacrifices. Honest sacrifices, major sacrifices.
I guess that's what's been getting under my skin lately. The superficiality of everything. It shouldn't and I have no business being so, but it pisses me off. It makes me feel like no one actually gives a shit.
Well, that makes me sound like a pretentious asshole. Oh well. Can't help the feels, yo. Anyway, now that I've ranted that out I feel a bit better. Gonna get myself off to bed here in a sec, work in the morning and all.
Have a good night, folks.
It gets me thinking about relationships, seeing so many relationships. Everything going on has been seeming so...high school. So juvenile. Granted, some of the relationships I'm referencing ARE high school, but even the adult ones seem stupid and poorly thought out. I know I'm not the leading expert on relationships, but common sense still applies.
There's a "honeymoon" stage to each STAGE in a relationship. I don't think people understand that. Of course you're going to want to always feel like that, like you're so extremely happy and you're floating on clouds. But it's not going to happen. It happens in fiction. We aren't fiction. We're faulty creatures. We make mistakes. We make bad decisions on purpose. So of course you're going to find something wrong with your relationship. They're going to do something that you don't like. It's learning to deal with and accept those things that denotes whether your relationship can take a "next" level.
Another thing. So many people see an incompatible relationship as a failure. How? What's wrong with experimenting to find the right person? It's like a box of Valentine's chocolates. Some you hate right off. So you chuck 'em and don't eat 'em. Some start out awesome, but then suck. And you wish you'd never eaten it. Some are just amazing and you want them to last forever, but everything runs out. Every honeymoon has an end. But that doesn't mean you didn't learn (or, rather, that you shouldn't have, as seems more appropriate these days) from them. You figure out what you like and what you don't like. Getting the right box the right time takes time. And sometimes you gotta wait a long time to find it again. That's about where the chocolate analogy falls apart, though. Because you can find and make a relationship work.
Mostly I'm taken aback at how quickly relationships happen. Like people don't think, they just act. Don't consider the consequences or the implications, don't worry about who you'll hurt or insult. That's what you wanna do, so you're gonna do it. I can understand being spontaneous. It's a part of being human, too. An essential part, even. Seriously, though. Think. How can someone be ready to MARRY another person after knowing them for a handful of months? Even if you're living with them?
I don't know much about my baby sister's relationships, but she's a pretty damn smart kid. None of them have been serious enough to introduce to the family (or maybe she was just too embarrassed of us to do introductions, completely possible) and as soon as she catches a whiff of bullshit, she ships out. She never got serious in high school, which is probably the best decision for her. I'm not saying she's a saint (HELL NO) or anything, but she had herself figured out. That happened to include a plan to focus on herself and her friends (much to my parents' dismay on the latter), not worry about an adolescent relationship that probably had no future. Obviously, that isn't the choice for everyone. I started dating Shawn my freshman year and we seem to have a handle on things. But let's face it, not many high schoolers (or young adults shortly free of it) are willing to make the same kind of commitment we were. Not many are willing to actually communicate to get their needs met and their voices heard. Not many accept that they're wrong, that they need to change, that a relationship requires both people to make sacrifices. Honest sacrifices, major sacrifices.
I guess that's what's been getting under my skin lately. The superficiality of everything. It shouldn't and I have no business being so, but it pisses me off. It makes me feel like no one actually gives a shit.
Well, that makes me sound like a pretentious asshole. Oh well. Can't help the feels, yo. Anyway, now that I've ranted that out I feel a bit better. Gonna get myself off to bed here in a sec, work in the morning and all.
Have a good night, folks.