speaking vs. performing
speaking in public is NOT the same as performing! lol i just about pissed my pants when i went up on stage and presented my speech. i got nominated to speak at commencement and managed to get myself into the top 4, and the finals were today. anyway i just got done and i'm sitting in the library trying to regroup my thoughts. i'm a horrible public speaker, and i have awful stagefright, so i would not be surprised if i didn't win. in fact, i'm not expecting to win. i just hated the thought of getting in front of people and having to actually talk. it's not like performing, where you can hide behind your instrument, where you can just close your eyes and pretend no one is watching you. no...you have to actually LOOK at the people you are talking to!! it was awful! it was like my senior recital but a million times worse. and it was for only 4 minutes! i have newfound respect for public speakers. i just can't do it. i hate having all the attention on me...like when i'm at my boyfriend's house and someone asks me about school or about andy and then everyone looks at me waiting to hear what i have to say. i get nervous! holy shit and to think that i wanted to speak at commencement!!! what the fuck was i thinking?!?!?! holy crap lol i swear i'm so retarded sometimes. anyway it's all over now. it's said and done. now i can focus on other things like work, my last week of student teaching, and holy crap finally graduating!! oh which reminds me i have to go pick up my cap and gown. :)