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So I wrote an article for the SpringHillian that was like 900 words because I thought they were having trouble filling the space they needed to fill. I ended up having to cut it down to 600 words, which means it isn't as good. So this is me posting the original version in case anyone feels like reading that one. I assure you that the extra time
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I really do enjoy spending time with the old crew, but as I said, I no longer have the constitution necessary to spend two hours straight arguing over where to eat dinner. A lot of the stuff we used to do back freshman year we half-hated even when we were doing it--think of how many times we would all say "holy shit, I can't believe we're sitting here playing Heroscape/arguing over where to eat/whatever." I didn't mean that comment to suggest that I was now a busy guy and didn't have any time for these childish shenanigans or whatever. I'm not busy exactly, or any busier than I ever was, but I just find a lot more enjoyment these days in doing things rather than arguing about what to do when things finally get done.
I guess ever since I started writing that column in the newspaper it's been harder to write in a blog-type thing--which is too bad, because really my seven-page screeds of old were much more cathartic than a 600-800 word newspaper column in which I have to censor myself more. I think the real reason I write in my blog less ("less" in this case being "not at all, really") is due to my reasons for initially starting a blog in the first place. If you read my old entries, you are reading the voice of someone who was reaching out to anyone and everyone, the voice of one seriously lonely dude doing what he did best to try and become less lonely; I put so much time and effort into it back then because that was literally the only way I knew to communicate with a lot of the people I was starting to care about, the only way to draw people in to my little universe. These days that urgency just isn't there as much, because I've become less withdrawn and have made good friends with a lot of those same people who read my blog back then. It's like that quote by Raoul Vaneigem: "If I write, it is not, as they say, 'for others.' I have no wish to exorcise other people's ghosts. I string words together as a way of getting out of the well of isolation, because I need others to pull me out. I write out of impatience, and with impatience. I want to live without dead time." I don't consider this newly realized lack of urgency a bad thing, it is just something that necessitates a change in my approach to this whole "blogging" deal. But yeah, I definitely should be writing more even if what I write changes, you're right in that (implied) assertion.
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