(no subject)
So tonight I signed on to AIM. (AIM on a Saturday night...how cool am I? At least I didn't have to post a non-nerd score to prove how not nerdy I am. That says it all for you guys right there...) I read my brother and sister's profiles and realized, I don't know them at all. They've grown up and changed so much since I've been in school. Freshman year I went home all the time, so I was still part of their lives. Last year I went home about every two months...which I'm ashamed to remember. I try to go home more than that this year. I still rarely get to see them and why would they tell me anything about their lives anyway? So while reading my sister's profile, I realized how different she is. So I called home right away and talked to her. Found out who she liked and might ask her out. Realized how much Color Guard meant to her and that she and my brother, because of band, are in the same circle of friends. Thinking about this makes me miss home a lot. I can't wait for Christmas break. Last year during Christmas break I was in Jersey for part of it and as for the rest of the time...well, I was rather eager to get back to Tallahassee for some things. ;) I love my family. And I want to be with them. I remember freshman year I nearly didn't come back to FSU. I was pretty sure I was going to go back home until right before I discovered I made staff.
Earlier today I was missing the way things were last year. I miss living in Apt. A with two of my best friends. I used to see Lauren all the time. She practically lived with me. And friends were always in my apartment. And Apt. A was just home in a way that no place has ever been home before. It was so precious to me because it was the first place that I could call my home. Not my parent's home, but mine. I could decorate it and everything in it was beautiful. The green walls, the dried flowers, even sharing a room with not one girl, but two. The way the sunlight would come into the kitchen at 10am and I would always try to be in there at that time. Hanging out with Beth and Kelly all the time. Eating dinner with them every night. I loved it. Everyone gathering there to watch Alias and getting my first taste at the ministry of hospitality. My Family Group. I just miss it. Not that last year was perfect, I had my heartache. And a lot of it. But life was so beautiful.
Life is beautiful now too. But it's different. I love Apt. C too, but it's not quite home the way A was. I love living with Nicole and Nancy. But I miss Beth and Kelly. And Lauren. And Becky. And Christina. And Leslie. And Tara. And all the things that were so precious last year. I guess it just reminds me that this is not a steady season in my life, but one that changes. It's a transition period. Not for forever. But that's so difficult to try and tell my heart.
I miss the Lord too. I want to be so close with Him. I want to actually live that out. To be a woman of faith that walks so closely with her Lord that you can't help but long for that too.
For those that get this...there must be more.
I guess tonight I'm just homesick.
Earlier today I was missing the way things were last year. I miss living in Apt. A with two of my best friends. I used to see Lauren all the time. She practically lived with me. And friends were always in my apartment. And Apt. A was just home in a way that no place has ever been home before. It was so precious to me because it was the first place that I could call my home. Not my parent's home, but mine. I could decorate it and everything in it was beautiful. The green walls, the dried flowers, even sharing a room with not one girl, but two. The way the sunlight would come into the kitchen at 10am and I would always try to be in there at that time. Hanging out with Beth and Kelly all the time. Eating dinner with them every night. I loved it. Everyone gathering there to watch Alias and getting my first taste at the ministry of hospitality. My Family Group. I just miss it. Not that last year was perfect, I had my heartache. And a lot of it. But life was so beautiful.
Life is beautiful now too. But it's different. I love Apt. C too, but it's not quite home the way A was. I love living with Nicole and Nancy. But I miss Beth and Kelly. And Lauren. And Becky. And Christina. And Leslie. And Tara. And all the things that were so precious last year. I guess it just reminds me that this is not a steady season in my life, but one that changes. It's a transition period. Not for forever. But that's so difficult to try and tell my heart.
I miss the Lord too. I want to be so close with Him. I want to actually live that out. To be a woman of faith that walks so closely with her Lord that you can't help but long for that too.
For those that get this...there must be more.
I guess tonight I'm just homesick.