Written

[blesseddumbfuck]

Wanted:

Hebrew male in complicated off-Barge relationship seeks single female for no-strings-attached night of fornication. Full service provided, stamina required.

Advisory against women with heart conditions, pregnancy, or back and neck problems.

Inquiries to be made at room eight on level two.

[Copied and posted at every level of the

Comments

SPAM

[takingacut]

[Flyer in hand, Bigger knocks on Biff's door. She's trying not to laugh just yet.]

SPAM

[blesseddumbfuck]

[Biff looks surprised to see Bigger when he opens the door.]

Are you here to give me a massage?

Re: SPAM

[takingacut]

[She holds up the flyer and finally laughs.]

I'm here, wondering what the hell this is about.

You can't be serious.

SPAM

[blesseddumbfuck]

[He grins vaguely at the flyer.]

I'm very serious. I already have had interested parties contact me.

[Thoughtfully:]

I should start charging for my services.

Re: SPAM

[takingacut]

What, now you're a prostitute?

[She leans against the doorway lazily.]

How many interested parties, exactly?

Re: SPAM

[blesseddumbfuck]

[He moved away from the door to let her in, if she wanted to follow.]

Two, if you count yourself. Are we counting you? You have my flyer.

Re: SPAM

[takingacut]

[She holds up a hand.] Take a breath, Mr. Desperate. I'm not here to solicit a prostitute.

[She enters his room anyway.]

SPAM

[blesseddumbfuck]

[He laughs at that.]

I have not been laid in two-thousand years. You would be desperate, too.

Re: SPAM

[takingacut]

I wasn't laid for a few years and even that had me desperate.

[Once inside, she turned to look at him with a hand on her hip and a faintly amused expression.]

I brought condoms.

[Okay so maybe she's still a little hard up.]

SPAM

[blesseddumbfuck]

[He just grins at her in response to that declaration. Those flyers were a stroke of brilliance.]