Marriage, Christianity, and Prop 8
I've been giving the topic of marriage a lot of thought these days. Marriage from a Christian perspective.
We're hearing so much about Proposition 8 in California. I have very mixed feelings on the issue personally.
On one hand, I believe that God intended for marriage to be between a man and woman. Period.
On the other hand, that only applies if you are a Christian. Just like I wouldn't want to have to live by Muslim laws, non-Christians shouldn't have to live by Christian laws.
And back to the first hand, this country is governed by the will of the people, and the will of the people is to not allow gay marriage.
Returning to the second hand, we need laws to protect the minority among us sometimes. (Though I think we go way overboard here and step on a lot of toes in the process!)
So as you can see, mixed feelings.
That got me to thinking (yeah, I do a lot of that.) For Christians, what exactly IS marriage? Did God mean for marriage to be a government institution? A big church affair? A private exchange of vows? What? So then of course I turned to my Handbook on Christian Living (the Bible.) I couldn't find any mention of the government being involved in marriage. Nor churches. It was an arrangement between families. "Here, take my virginal daughter and give me 40 goats."
So then, do I think that means we should be able to just find a mate and then say we are married? NO!!! And here is my reasoning. In Bible times, marriage was a lifetime commitment. It took a lot to get a divorce. Imagine living in that time and wanting to leave your spouse because you "just grew apart." It wouldn't fly. The community would have likely looked at you like you'd gone mad. But our society nods in understanding and gives it's approval. Marriage means nothing in our society.
Except, that is, for the legal binding piece of paper we are issued by the government.
With that piece of paper, we get obligations and rights that make it harder to just walk away from our spouse and/or family. Without it, we can just walk. The only consequence might come from child support, but there are a lot of other issues that you can escape. And to get back to Prop 8, there are also a lot of rights that go along with it. The government has taken the place of what the community used to do, to a degree. It encourages marriages to be real commitments.
God emphasized greatly the importance of being married before one is intimate. He lays out the consequences of disobeying this, and does so many more times than he mentions other sins. Like many things in the Bible, the reasons for this aren't just spiritual (which only applies to Christians in this sense,) but also very much emotional. So really, would it be so bad to encourage or at least allow people who are going to be gay whether we like it or not, to at least do so from within a legally binding marriage? At least it's more honorable than just having sex. And no matter how much you tell yourself you are married, or what ceremonies you might have, without that legally binding piece of paper, the commitment isn't enforceable.
When heterosexuals live together without getting married, we seem to all (Christians that is) understand that it is blatant disregard for God's will. And yet when homosexuals want to make a legally binding commitment rather than just shack up, *that's* not ok. It just really seems like a double standard to me.
Honestly, we can't make them not be gay by denying them the rights and responsibilities of marriage. It's true! Trust me on this one. I know things.
So why... *wrinkles forehead* Why is it that so many Christians will just accept other "Christians" who are living together with no regard for God's word, and then talk about how wrong gay marriage is? Why do pastors preach long and often about the sin of homosexuality and how horrible the world has become with things like Prop 8 passing... all the while not addressing the fornicators and adulterers sitting in his congregation? Why do churches welcome people who are committing the sexual sin of fornication, but heaven forbid a homosexual walk through the doors? (No, I'm not saying churchs should sanction gay marriage - it is a sin like all other sexual sin.)
I'm still working this all out in my head...
- Does the government belong in marriage at all?
- How else would marriage mean anything today, when we just walk in and out of marriages like they were your local Denny's?
- Should we allow heterosexuals and not homosexuals? If so, why? If not, why not?
- Why do today's Christians feel like it's the loving thing to do to just watch a fellow believer wander off of the "straight and narrow" path; and to guide them back is to be "judgemental?" (I ask this one because if we hadn't come to this point there would be no need for the government to enforce the commitment that was once enforced by the community.)
- What about polygamy?
...Oh no... now I have to go think some more. What about polygamy???
P.S. Here's something else for you to chew on: The Washington Law against Discrimination (RCW 49.60) makes discrimination unlawful on the basis of race, color, national origin, creed, sex, sexual orientation, disability, familial status, marital status, and age. Discrimination based on sexual orientation, including gender identity, will be illegal in employment, housing, public accommodations, credit and lending, and insurance. All employers with eight or more employees, except tribes and religious non-profit institutions, are covered by the law.
Ok, no big deal, right? Unless... what if you own a Christian bookstore and a cross-dresser wants to work as a cashier? Better hire them or you'll get sued. Too bad if it's bad for business, it's the law.
We're hearing so much about Proposition 8 in California. I have very mixed feelings on the issue personally.
On one hand, I believe that God intended for marriage to be between a man and woman. Period.
On the other hand, that only applies if you are a Christian. Just like I wouldn't want to have to live by Muslim laws, non-Christians shouldn't have to live by Christian laws.
And back to the first hand, this country is governed by the will of the people, and the will of the people is to not allow gay marriage.
Returning to the second hand, we need laws to protect the minority among us sometimes. (Though I think we go way overboard here and step on a lot of toes in the process!)
So as you can see, mixed feelings.
That got me to thinking (yeah, I do a lot of that.) For Christians, what exactly IS marriage? Did God mean for marriage to be a government institution? A big church affair? A private exchange of vows? What? So then of course I turned to my Handbook on Christian Living (the Bible.) I couldn't find any mention of the government being involved in marriage. Nor churches. It was an arrangement between families. "Here, take my virginal daughter and give me 40 goats."
So then, do I think that means we should be able to just find a mate and then say we are married? NO!!! And here is my reasoning. In Bible times, marriage was a lifetime commitment. It took a lot to get a divorce. Imagine living in that time and wanting to leave your spouse because you "just grew apart." It wouldn't fly. The community would have likely looked at you like you'd gone mad. But our society nods in understanding and gives it's approval. Marriage means nothing in our society.
Except, that is, for the legal binding piece of paper we are issued by the government.
With that piece of paper, we get obligations and rights that make it harder to just walk away from our spouse and/or family. Without it, we can just walk. The only consequence might come from child support, but there are a lot of other issues that you can escape. And to get back to Prop 8, there are also a lot of rights that go along with it. The government has taken the place of what the community used to do, to a degree. It encourages marriages to be real commitments.
God emphasized greatly the importance of being married before one is intimate. He lays out the consequences of disobeying this, and does so many more times than he mentions other sins. Like many things in the Bible, the reasons for this aren't just spiritual (which only applies to Christians in this sense,) but also very much emotional. So really, would it be so bad to encourage or at least allow people who are going to be gay whether we like it or not, to at least do so from within a legally binding marriage? At least it's more honorable than just having sex. And no matter how much you tell yourself you are married, or what ceremonies you might have, without that legally binding piece of paper, the commitment isn't enforceable.
When heterosexuals live together without getting married, we seem to all (Christians that is) understand that it is blatant disregard for God's will. And yet when homosexuals want to make a legally binding commitment rather than just shack up, *that's* not ok. It just really seems like a double standard to me.
Honestly, we can't make them not be gay by denying them the rights and responsibilities of marriage. It's true! Trust me on this one. I know things.
So why... *wrinkles forehead* Why is it that so many Christians will just accept other "Christians" who are living together with no regard for God's word, and then talk about how wrong gay marriage is? Why do pastors preach long and often about the sin of homosexuality and how horrible the world has become with things like Prop 8 passing... all the while not addressing the fornicators and adulterers sitting in his congregation? Why do churches welcome people who are committing the sexual sin of fornication, but heaven forbid a homosexual walk through the doors? (No, I'm not saying churchs should sanction gay marriage - it is a sin like all other sexual sin.)
I'm still working this all out in my head...
- Does the government belong in marriage at all?
- How else would marriage mean anything today, when we just walk in and out of marriages like they were your local Denny's?
- Should we allow heterosexuals and not homosexuals? If so, why? If not, why not?
- Why do today's Christians feel like it's the loving thing to do to just watch a fellow believer wander off of the "straight and narrow" path; and to guide them back is to be "judgemental?" (I ask this one because if we hadn't come to this point there would be no need for the government to enforce the commitment that was once enforced by the community.)
- What about polygamy?
...Oh no... now I have to go think some more. What about polygamy???
P.S. Here's something else for you to chew on: The Washington Law against Discrimination (RCW 49.60) makes discrimination unlawful on the basis of race, color, national origin, creed, sex, sexual orientation, disability, familial status, marital status, and age. Discrimination based on sexual orientation, including gender identity, will be illegal in employment, housing, public accommodations, credit and lending, and insurance. All employers with eight or more employees, except tribes and religious non-profit institutions, are covered by the law.
Ok, no big deal, right? Unless... what if you own a Christian bookstore and a cross-dresser wants to work as a cashier? Better hire them or you'll get sued. Too bad if it's bad for business, it's the law.