Confusing recurring dreams

Jun 16, 2008 14:10

I'm not usually one for thinking dreams have to have a meaning, but these ones obviously do. I just don't have any idea what.

Before I started the dark therapy and started feeling much better on the bi-polar/depression front, I used to have the recurring dream that I was driving a car and I'd come up to an intersection or behind a stopped car, and while the car had brakes - they didn't work very well. I'd stomp and stomp on them and the car would slow down but keep slowly rolling forward. This dream is fairly upsetting, at least the feeling would be described as anxiety.

Ever since I started the dark therapy the dream has changed. Now I'm driving a car and I'm going too fast for curves and I don't care. I end up on the wrong side of traffic heading into oncoming cars and I just swerve on the shoulder, but there are cars there already trying to avoid me. Or I can't make a curve and I slam into the side of a building or the side of a hill, wrecking my vehicle. It never upsets me. I'm calm and sometimes laughing through the whole thing.

In the last dream, I slammed into the side of an embankment wrecking my pickup (which I adore) and I just wandered around below the hill waiting for a wrecker. I didn't care. Then someone in an apartment above hollered down asking if I'd called 911. It hadn't really occurred to me so I said no. They called 911 and told me to come up. I went up there and ended up finding an apt for $150 a month. It was huge and beautiful. But they didn't allow pets. I said, "oh, that leaves me out." But then the manager said she could make an allowance for a couple of pets for me, since I was on disability and was only able to live with my parents. I was bouncing between my mom and aunt's house but my aunt was about to die so I needed to find another place to live as I wasn't welcome at either house permanently. Anyway, the manager said I could bring a couple of pets. I said, "oh, that still counts me out. I have 4 cats." She said "that's ok, for you we'll make an exception."

It's not unusual for me to have the dream of my aunt being terminal (it really happened.) It's not unusual for me to have dreams of not being wanted by my family (it really happened/happens.) I often have fears of having no place to live. It's a real fear of mine. What confuses me is the car part, and perhaps the apt. part., though maybe that one's easier to figure out.

Any ideas?

depression, mood, family, vehicles, house, history, dreams, memories, cats, mental, health

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