Vegemite
VEGEMITE - A Tale of Yeast Extract and Surfing
Ronon walked into the mess hall, carefully scanning the area. There she was, sitting by herself. Quickly he checked again and to his relief no other member of the team was there. Irritated with himself, he grabbed whatever food was nearest and dumped it on a tray.
Since he and Jennifer had been trapped in the Infirmary together and he had come very close to kissing her, he had been careful not to show too much emotion in front of the others. John and Teyla’s barely concealed amusement after that incident had irritated the hell out of him. So now, here he was, furtively trying to get to see Jennifer without his team mates noticing. He was as bad as some spotty youngster. No worse, in fact. At least a be-pimpled youth had some excuse, but he had none. He just didn’t want his friends to see him all awkward and, hell, …shy. And much to his annoyance he was both when he was around Jennifer Keller.
She smiled at him as he walked up to her table.
“Mind if I join you” he said.
“No, not at all.”
There was a slightly embarrassed silence. He looked at her plate. She was eating engine oil on toast. Or that’s what it looked like. It was sort of a dark brown, tar like substance. He cleared his throat and, casting around for something to talk about, he said.
“What are you eating? It looks and smells horrible.”
She laughed and said “Want to try a bit?” “It’s something I got a taste for on vacation in Australia - Vegemite on toast.”
She carefully cut a finger of toast and put it on his plate.
“Go on, try it!”
He sniffed it gingerly. It smelled weird. Kind of beefy. He put it in his mouth and chewed. There was a strong, strange, meat-like flavour but not quite the same, perhaps more salty. He pulled a face and she laughed.
“It’s an acquired taste. You either love it or hate it. The English have something similar, only there it‘s called Marmite. It’s made from the leftovers of beer making and it‘s kind of an Ozzie tradition. I‘ve been told eight different ways of eating it, but I prefer it on toast.”
“It’s, err, unusual. Thanks, but I think I‘ll pass.”
He smiled at her warmly. “So you went on vacation to Australia?”
“Yeh, and I had a great time. I went with a girlfriend and we got plenty of sun, sea and surf. But then unfortunately I got a stomach bug and got really sick. I spent the last few days with my head in a bucket. But I’m sure you don’t want that picture in your mind!”
He laughed and then said “The surfing thing - John taught me how to surf on our days off. He says I’m a natural”.
He cleared his throat again.
“Erm, I don’t suppose you would want to, err, surf with me sometime? We could go to the mainland when you next have some free time.”
He waited anxiously for her reply.
“I’d love to, but I‘m not very good. You‘ll have to help me”
His stomach clenched tightly as he suddenly had a mental image of Jenn in her swimming costume. They could surf first and then they could lie on the sand and have a picnic, or play in the waves, splashing each other. Bright droplets of sea water would roll down the valley between her breasts and maybe he could trace each one with his tongue…
“Are you all right?” she said.
He realised he had been sitting staring at her with a glazed look on his face.
“I was wondering if we could go tomor…” Jennifer began.
Suddenly there was a crash and a bang and Rodney sat down next to Ronon, slapping his tray hard on the table.
“That’s just brilliant.“ muttered Ronon under his breath. Rodney’s timing was impeccable, as usual.
“I know you won’t mind if I join you.” Rodney said. His plate was piled high as always. He extracted his knife and fork from their paper wrapper and started to shovel food into his mouth.
“I‘ve had the most terrible day“ he said, “Radek was wrong when he
said that the...“ He trailed off as he spotted what was on Jennifer‘s plate.
“What’s that?”
He pointed with his knife at the toast spread with the Vegemite.
“It looks disgusting.” He reached out and took the piece that was left, pushing it into his mouth.
“Mumpph, murpff disgusting” was all they could make out.
“It’s Vegemite from Australia” smiled Jennifer. “We were talking about a vacation I had there a little while ago. And we were talking about surfing.”
“I think it vastly over-rated” said Rodney, waving his knife around. “As a scientist, I do find that, on occasion, it does come in useful.”
But it’s a waste of time for most of the general public.
“You find surfing useful?” growled Ronon, still pissed at Rodney for sitting with them.
“Why yes” answered Rodney, “I know it may seem strange that a person with my intellect would resort to doing such a thing, but I find that occasionally it is necessary for my work.” He smiled smugly. “And I flatter myself in thinking that I am very proficient at it”.
“Really?” said Jennifer, looking slightly puzzled, “Did John teach you too?”
“Most certainly not” exclaimed Rodney, horrified. “Why would John need to teach me? I find it just comes naturally.”
Jennifer gave him a bemused look.
“I think the best thing about surfing” she said “is that even though I’m scared enough to wet my pants, nobody would notice anyway.”
Rodney looked aghast. “You wet your pants while surfing the internet?”
He looked puzzled as Ronon and Jennifer both burst out laughing.
“I can see nothing to laugh about” he said, sounding annoyed.
“Come on, Jenn” said Ronon “It’s time we were going.”
“Don’t you think you ought to tell him?” she whispered as they made their way across the crowded canteen towards the door.
“Not yet” he said, and he winked at her, “Besides, I want to see the look on his face when I tell him I like to surf naked.”
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