Mar 12, 2004 03:39
I feel so wounded so tested too many questions to answer all at once. Its seems when you know something real that other people can't see they test you on it ...they don't know that they are doing it sometimes...to see how far you can go...or what it is or what it's about.I was doing a prayer listening type meditation and I started to see these beams coming out of my hands then as I asked god for all the angels to fill up the whole building and room I started to feel these beams get heavier and stronger. Then the beams started to radiate out of my whole body like a huge stringy flower that stretched out into the universe...anyways I am being tested and it's not really as easy as it would seem since its not about nerves or bodily strength but more spiritual and faithful without being blind or manipulted by anything so I can see the solution clearly but its hard to put my humaness through it...hmm ...I avoided a friend today because I had too much to do...and I felt heavy in heart, I don't want to bring people down but I guess the point is that we would have had an enjoyable time because we always do so I avoided and enjoyable time basically. I am clear, focused....happy ...inside...really deep inside but outside is too hard to deal with sometimes...so I will go have some fun soooooon.....