I Will Always Be Here~
hey guys!!! figured I'd update again, wow, I've actually done good this week... well kinda/sorta.. anyway, whats new with me.. Nothing much.. just been sitting around, today Its offical Ben and I have been dating for 2 months!!! So excited... its been great!!! I love it!
Today at votech was our end of the year party... wow.. I told everyone i wasn't going to cry,.. which.. i kept it.. I didn't cry.. UNTIL this girl erica started crying, I look up to her for being so strong and this person that you would have never imagined it from, but i really didn't cry I just got teary-eyed.. When it was Mrs. Yerrick(our teacher) turn to light another candle, she came over to me, and tld me that she was glad tghat i stayed in the program and that shes glad to have me in there, bc there for a while i didn't want to be in there, b/c i hated the girls and i felt as if mrs. yerrick really didnt like me, but i guess she just gives that off, b/c it really seemed like it, and i felt bad for the survery thing yesterday.. But, I thanked her for being there and telling me that i should stay in the class, it may not have seemed like it but she has helped me a lot through everything that has happend this year, and well.. I'm really going to miss her next year when im in a differnt class.. I never had the female figure to look up to, and well, Mrs. yerrick is, the one and only female that i actually look p to and feel that she has helped me thru a lot, and if i ever needed the female opinion on something i know that i could go to her and she would let me talk and she would give her input which i apperciate so much no joke!!! shes the best teacher i've had (as far as the females) My mom really hasnt helped me thru my life for skills that mothers should pass on to there daughters.. i feel as if im not connected to my mother, I dont know i've felt that way since i've been little, i know she loves me ...well i think she does, but i dont see her as a mother i just see her as like a person that is in my life to call mom. i dont know really when i was little if she really wanted me or if i was an accident but sometimes i really feel that im not supposed to be here, but thats alright bc I'm happy that I am bc if i wasnt i wouldnt have ben and all my friends or the life that i know i will be sucessful in. ok maybe that was a lot of rambling on but i know what i meant..
Anyway, I went and seen Ben at lunch, its so funny bc my mom was having surgery(thats not funny) but anyway, my stepdad and i went to mcdonals to have lunch and its right next to bens work, i thought he would have seen my car, i kinda parked as if he could see me, but he didnt.. so i dropped my stepdad back off at the hospital, and went past bens work, still wasn't there. ok, well i went past all the possible resturants that i knew he would go to, well he wasnt there, so i went to walmart hoping to see him, I MISSED HIM... he was there at the same time just differnt dept. so i went to his work and this guy was walking out and he was like hi becky, lookin for ben i was like yeah, so he yelled ben, and then i went and said HEY BABE!!! oh i miss him so much now that he isnt in school, Its odd... very odd.. but thats alright, i will get over it, i hope bc we seriously have to get thru next year, and i love him and he loves me, so we wilL!!! i have the will power and i hope he does too.. which i think he does bc he cares a lot about me,alright well.. Im so thankful to have Ben, and i think i take it for granted somtimes, but I'm very lucky!!! He is the best boyfriend I've ever had!
my nephew is here and i want to sp[end time with him, BEN I"LL FILL THAT THING OUT LATER! ok..i love you...
see ya everyone!!
Today at votech was our end of the year party... wow.. I told everyone i wasn't going to cry,.. which.. i kept it.. I didn't cry.. UNTIL this girl erica started crying, I look up to her for being so strong and this person that you would have never imagined it from, but i really didn't cry I just got teary-eyed.. When it was Mrs. Yerrick(our teacher) turn to light another candle, she came over to me, and tld me that she was glad tghat i stayed in the program and that shes glad to have me in there, bc there for a while i didn't want to be in there, b/c i hated the girls and i felt as if mrs. yerrick really didnt like me, but i guess she just gives that off, b/c it really seemed like it, and i felt bad for the survery thing yesterday.. But, I thanked her for being there and telling me that i should stay in the class, it may not have seemed like it but she has helped me a lot through everything that has happend this year, and well.. I'm really going to miss her next year when im in a differnt class.. I never had the female figure to look up to, and well, Mrs. yerrick is, the one and only female that i actually look p to and feel that she has helped me thru a lot, and if i ever needed the female opinion on something i know that i could go to her and she would let me talk and she would give her input which i apperciate so much no joke!!! shes the best teacher i've had (as far as the females) My mom really hasnt helped me thru my life for skills that mothers should pass on to there daughters.. i feel as if im not connected to my mother, I dont know i've felt that way since i've been little, i know she loves me ...well i think she does, but i dont see her as a mother i just see her as like a person that is in my life to call mom. i dont know really when i was little if she really wanted me or if i was an accident but sometimes i really feel that im not supposed to be here, but thats alright bc I'm happy that I am bc if i wasnt i wouldnt have ben and all my friends or the life that i know i will be sucessful in. ok maybe that was a lot of rambling on but i know what i meant..
Anyway, I went and seen Ben at lunch, its so funny bc my mom was having surgery(thats not funny) but anyway, my stepdad and i went to mcdonals to have lunch and its right next to bens work, i thought he would have seen my car, i kinda parked as if he could see me, but he didnt.. so i dropped my stepdad back off at the hospital, and went past bens work, still wasn't there. ok, well i went past all the possible resturants that i knew he would go to, well he wasnt there, so i went to walmart hoping to see him, I MISSED HIM... he was there at the same time just differnt dept. so i went to his work and this guy was walking out and he was like hi becky, lookin for ben i was like yeah, so he yelled ben, and then i went and said HEY BABE!!! oh i miss him so much now that he isnt in school, Its odd... very odd.. but thats alright, i will get over it, i hope bc we seriously have to get thru next year, and i love him and he loves me, so we wilL!!! i have the will power and i hope he does too.. which i think he does bc he cares a lot about me,alright well.. Im so thankful to have Ben, and i think i take it for granted somtimes, but I'm very lucky!!! He is the best boyfriend I've ever had!
my nephew is here and i want to sp[end time with him, BEN I"LL FILL THAT THING OUT LATER! ok..i love you...
see ya everyone!!