Lost the moon while counting the stars
In spite of very real fears, hope still crept in. I had no control over it, I never did. Contrary to popular belief then, and probably now, none of this ever went away for me.
Regret is a funny thing; I always was one to torture myself with it. I never had many, but this, this was one; the one, in fact. Self sabotage was always my strong suit, but this was the one I never forgave myself for...I still haven't and I'm not sure I ever will. It was the one time in my life I was truly selfish and I hate that about myself. Young or not, hard times or not...it's all inexcusable. I made the wrong decision; I chose poorly. I have never been more angry with myself or felt more deserving of negative consequences -
you deserve every negative thought that tortures you, every negative thing that happens to you and more; all just punishment for past crimes and emotional turmoil you caused. You are the worst...
I was the worst.
Regret is a funny thing; I always was one to torture myself with it. I never had many, but this, this was one; the one, in fact. Self sabotage was always my strong suit, but this was the one I never forgave myself for...I still haven't and I'm not sure I ever will. It was the one time in my life I was truly selfish and I hate that about myself. Young or not, hard times or not...it's all inexcusable. I made the wrong decision; I chose poorly. I have never been more angry with myself or felt more deserving of negative consequences -
you deserve every negative thought that tortures you, every negative thing that happens to you and more; all just punishment for past crimes and emotional turmoil you caused. You are the worst...
I was the worst.