NOT ok
I get worse and worse every day.
Mentally, physically. I'm wore out, with no way to plunder on. "Pretending" it's ok so other people can go to sleep, so i can go to sleep.....
though sleep is what i dread, every time i sleep i wake up worse.
I punch myself in the face now, hard. Almost broke my nose....but it doesn't matter. I have a worse and worse concussion everyday, but it really just doesn't matter. There's a new hole in the wall, and new hate spoken out of my mouth, EVERYDAY.
Jude 12-13:
They are clouds without rain, blown along by the wind; autumn trees, without fruit and uprooted-twice dead. They are wild waves of the sea, foaming up their shame; wandering stars, for whom the blackest darkness has been reserved forever.
I do not know what to do. I am deathly afraid of myself, as I think I should be, and once again I find myself feeling utterly alone and seeing NO glimpse of hope in the future.
Mentally, physically. I'm wore out, with no way to plunder on. "Pretending" it's ok so other people can go to sleep, so i can go to sleep.....
though sleep is what i dread, every time i sleep i wake up worse.
I punch myself in the face now, hard. Almost broke my nose....but it doesn't matter. I have a worse and worse concussion everyday, but it really just doesn't matter. There's a new hole in the wall, and new hate spoken out of my mouth, EVERYDAY.
Jude 12-13:
They are clouds without rain, blown along by the wind; autumn trees, without fruit and uprooted-twice dead. They are wild waves of the sea, foaming up their shame; wandering stars, for whom the blackest darkness has been reserved forever.
I do not know what to do. I am deathly afraid of myself, as I think I should be, and once again I find myself feeling utterly alone and seeing NO glimpse of hope in the future.