epiphany
So I’m sitting in a hotel room in Portland, Oregon, somewhere I didn’t know I’d be a week ago. I was supposed to be at Memorial University in St. John’s Newfoundland, doing the theme presentation for a youth event. Unfortunately the event got cancelled, and I was reminded that this event, Come to the Feast, was happening in Portland, and I had an ( Read more... )
I wish there was a way for us to communicate outside of this journal.
Maybe Geoff is right and we simply need to let each other go, make a clean break. There are things I've wanted to say to you for some time... but maybe there's no way we can simply be real with each other. I'm glad you're happy. I'm often happy, I'm just not consistent with it.
I guess I picture a day when we simply have warm, caring respect for one another, knowing what we've each lived, and knowing that we've each grown.
I work at moving on, and am much better today than I was yesterday. Tomorrow I'll be another step along. I'll never stop wishing you more than what you dream for yourself right now. I don't believe you are defined by your illness, Gage. I struggle with depression as you know, and there are days, like the first writing of this post, when it feels like it is winning. But today, I feel mainly love for myself, for anyone willing to receive it, and even more for those who don't believe they deserve it.
I will always have you in my heart, and in my prayers.
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