Growing Gains
They say that you never stop learning and that you never stop growing. But it seems like most of the people I went to school with haven't. They're still the same. He's still all talk and no walk. She's still weak-minded. They're all forgetful of the past, ready to shake your hand and give you a hug and ask how life is going. Where's the growth? Where's the person telling me to go fuck myself, because I screwed them over in college? Instead it's the kid who talked shit behind my back trying to shake my hand. Or the girl whom I defended and stood up for telling me to walk away when I let the truth slip. Where's the change? I know I'm nothing like the person I was in school. I'm miles away. I've taken the things that I learned about myself during those years and have built on them. That means continuing some of the things that produced good results and strengthening them, while taking the bad things and throwing them out. But it also means focusing on the things that I didn't like about myself and working to change it. I'm in constant flux, building and razing, testing and implementing. I'm still underestimated. I'm still regarded as an asshole. The only difference is that now, I'm happy. I'm at peace with myself.
I don't have a girlfriend and I'm not seeing anyone. I work in a liquor store. I'm a recovering addict. I love my life. This time last year I was on my way to climbing the corporate ladder. Last year I was involved with a handful of women. I did whatever I wanted whenever I wanted. But the simple life is what I love. I enjoying reading and watching old TV shows on DVD and following current events. I go out less and less often. I don't go shopping. I'm happy. I don't get then, why it hasn't been the same for others. Why are so many of my classmates stagnated and unchanged, like they used their years in college to carve their personalities out of marble, completion upon graduation? It feels like mine was molded out of play-doh. I guess I must be doing something right, because I'm standing out from the crowd, and I've never been happier about that.
I don't have a girlfriend and I'm not seeing anyone. I work in a liquor store. I'm a recovering addict. I love my life. This time last year I was on my way to climbing the corporate ladder. Last year I was involved with a handful of women. I did whatever I wanted whenever I wanted. But the simple life is what I love. I enjoying reading and watching old TV shows on DVD and following current events. I go out less and less often. I don't go shopping. I'm happy. I don't get then, why it hasn't been the same for others. Why are so many of my classmates stagnated and unchanged, like they used their years in college to carve their personalities out of marble, completion upon graduation? It feels like mine was molded out of play-doh. I guess I must be doing something right, because I'm standing out from the crowd, and I've never been happier about that.