yesterdays feelings
tims friend is bothering the hell out of me.
and should definatly leave me alone :)
so i was going to sleep last night..
and i couldnt stop thinking about so much stuff.
and it was so annoying because i really wanted to sleep.
my days have been so awesome..
and today was the first official day of summer :)
and i did absolutly nothing.
which rocked SO FUCKING MUCH!
and tomorrow im going over to Jiffy Lube
to fill out an application.
you only have to be 14 to work there.
how much does that rock?!
GRRRTARYYYUIIIODLLLS;;S;;;;S;S;S;SKIJ!
im so fucked up.
i dont know.
im really happy when im with people..
but then when im alone..
and im thinking..
everything just goes to hell.
kayla hurt me so bad..
but i really miss her.
and that sounds SO lesbian..
but i dont even care anymore.
i was so mad at her..
for saying everything she said to me,
that i couldnt even say anything back.
i could think of SOOO many things i wanted to say..
but i couldnt say any of them.
eventhough i wanted to kill everyone i still couldnt say any of it.
because even if she hates me..
and even if she wants me to die..
i still consider her the best friend i ever had
and i cant just hurt her like that.
i totally understand her not wanting to have shit happen again.
because neither do i..
im so tired of people being upset.
i went for 4 days not thinking about what happened
being totally happy.. and not getting upset.
and then i realized that nothing fixed itself.
things.. dont just fix themselves.
no matter how long you block it out.
and should definatly leave me alone :)
so i was going to sleep last night..
and i couldnt stop thinking about so much stuff.
and it was so annoying because i really wanted to sleep.
my days have been so awesome..
and today was the first official day of summer :)
and i did absolutly nothing.
which rocked SO FUCKING MUCH!
and tomorrow im going over to Jiffy Lube
to fill out an application.
you only have to be 14 to work there.
how much does that rock?!
GRRRTARYYYUIIIODLLLS;;S;;;;S;S;S;SKIJ!
im so fucked up.
i dont know.
im really happy when im with people..
but then when im alone..
and im thinking..
everything just goes to hell.
kayla hurt me so bad..
but i really miss her.
and that sounds SO lesbian..
but i dont even care anymore.
i was so mad at her..
for saying everything she said to me,
that i couldnt even say anything back.
i could think of SOOO many things i wanted to say..
but i couldnt say any of them.
eventhough i wanted to kill everyone i still couldnt say any of it.
because even if she hates me..
and even if she wants me to die..
i still consider her the best friend i ever had
and i cant just hurt her like that.
i totally understand her not wanting to have shit happen again.
because neither do i..
im so tired of people being upset.
i went for 4 days not thinking about what happened
being totally happy.. and not getting upset.
and then i realized that nothing fixed itself.
things.. dont just fix themselves.
no matter how long you block it out.