Thanksgiving wine
I just took my first gulp of wine which will make the rest of my evening.
And i'm drinking by myself at the moment.
I don't really know why. I feel the need to excape from this place, this is really the only way i know how. Through drinking and smoking i've made my way, hazy will be my college life. One i will regret has i have regreted all the others. But this time i see the path before me clearly, and i think thats why i'm in this position.
(second gulp)
To set lose of myself from the state of mind i'm in. One in which i know all the ways i can fail, but i can't seem to see any place where i will sucessed.
(third gulp)
That knowlege is madding.
(fourth gulp)
I can see my parents so close to retirement, and all my dad wants to do is move back to colorado, where he was happy in his 20's.
Yet he can't. "I can't take the winters anymore" he said. So he'll move to some smaller town like dixion. Or maybe out in the hill of vacaville.
There he'll sit and dream about colorado.
(fifth)
(sixth)
I can barely take the winters as it is. Or any season.
(seventh)
I hate this place. It is meant to be a place for "higher learning." Where we explore our humanity, make a place for ourselves in the world. Or maybe that is just what i invisioned it would be.
Instead i sit and drink by myself.
(8)
No talk of God, or meaning.
No life leasons.
Just a baring of the past from one generation to another. Never imporving on the world, only marking down all of our failures.
(9)
And money.
(10)
Lots of money.
Thats all its about.
(11)
(12)
How can i fail when thats all life is, learning to except your failure of life, and God.
Maybe i've just come to this point before my time.
(13)
I owe everything.
Which life has proven, isn't much.
And i'm drinking by myself at the moment.
I don't really know why. I feel the need to excape from this place, this is really the only way i know how. Through drinking and smoking i've made my way, hazy will be my college life. One i will regret has i have regreted all the others. But this time i see the path before me clearly, and i think thats why i'm in this position.
(second gulp)
To set lose of myself from the state of mind i'm in. One in which i know all the ways i can fail, but i can't seem to see any place where i will sucessed.
(third gulp)
That knowlege is madding.
(fourth gulp)
I can see my parents so close to retirement, and all my dad wants to do is move back to colorado, where he was happy in his 20's.
Yet he can't. "I can't take the winters anymore" he said. So he'll move to some smaller town like dixion. Or maybe out in the hill of vacaville.
There he'll sit and dream about colorado.
(fifth)
(sixth)
I can barely take the winters as it is. Or any season.
(seventh)
I hate this place. It is meant to be a place for "higher learning." Where we explore our humanity, make a place for ourselves in the world. Or maybe that is just what i invisioned it would be.
Instead i sit and drink by myself.
(8)
No talk of God, or meaning.
No life leasons.
Just a baring of the past from one generation to another. Never imporving on the world, only marking down all of our failures.
(9)
And money.
(10)
Lots of money.
Thats all its about.
(11)
(12)
How can i fail when thats all life is, learning to except your failure of life, and God.
Maybe i've just come to this point before my time.
(13)
I owe everything.
Which life has proven, isn't much.