(no subject)
It appears as though I can't help but search for a stand in, rather than approach others with an openmind. At times I'm proud to know just what I want, and at others I realize that I will never find anyone who meets standards so high. I'll never be brave enough to find the words to tell you that I can't move forward because of you. I'll never be strong enough to risk hearing that you see your life without me, even though all my dreams for the future involve sitting on the couch, staring over a book as you read with your eyebrows furrowed. There's something about the balance of us, the middles we create to meet in, and I find myself wondering if you notice the same. Do you ever wake up smiling because you dreamt of a life we shared? Do you ever meet someone and find the qualities they're lacking seem to be derived from the version of me you understand?