(no subject)
Brain stops dead. These are your nerves, give us a call when you're up for confronting us.
Lungs convulse. This is your blood, I know you asked not to be bothered but...
Screening calls.
Beep This is...
Beep This is...
Beep Howdy...
Delete.
My fingers find the button automatically
no need to
think
about it anymore.
Just a few more minutes alone
with
the throbbing between my ears,
please
Just a few more days of
pretending
that this is how it
always was.
That this is a state that might be called
well
Better off
alone
eyes closed, the sweet, warm darkness beneath the covers.
The only thing to remind me that I'm still here:
the feel of my fingernails against my palms
(even if i can't feel the arms they're attached to)
the stinging of new blisters on my heels
(at the end of dead legs.)
Flesh rotting on the bone.
"Are you alright?"
shatters my peace
"Such a fucking waste."
scatters the pieces
"It gets easier with time."
to all four corners.
"He's watching over you."
breaks the dam
"He's not really gone.
The deluge.
"If you don't cope, you'll break down.
How to find words delicate enough to explain
I don't have those parts anymore
Only empty space for storage
Hollow.
Rotting.
A stinking pile turning to wet mud.
No place remote enough to scream
without exciting the masses.
Can't give them the pleasure
of such a
public
meltdown
I'm imploding
A shrug
Shit happens
The words sound artificial
even to me
Hide behind a pair of sunglasses
never let them see your eyes
stop looking at me
stop looking at me
I'm not a kind criminal these days.
That this is a state that might be called
well
Better off
alone
eyes closed, the sweet, warm darkness beneath the covers.
The only thing to remind me that I'm still here:
the feel of my fingernails against my palms
(even if i can't feel the arms they're attached to)
the stinging of new blisters on my heels
(at the end of dead legs.)
Flesh rotting on the bone.
"Are you alright?"
shatters my peace
"Such a fucking waste."
scatters the pieces
"It gets easier with time."
to all four corners.
"He's watching over you."
breaks the dam
"He's not really gone.
The deluge.
"If you don't cope, you'll break down.
How to find words delicate enough to explain
I don't have those parts anymore
Only empty space for storage
Hollow.
Rotting.
A stinking pile turning to wet mud.
No place remote enough to scream
without exciting the masses.
Can't give them the pleasure
of such a
public
meltdown
I'm imploding
A shrug
Shit happens
The words sound artificial
even to me
Hide behind a pair of sunglasses
never let them see your eyes
stop looking at me
stop looking at me
I'm not a kind criminal these days.