i know it's been awhile
wow, i'm really starting to wonder what happened to my life.
it's kind of scary realizing that in a year from now, i'll be out, on my own. gone far far away, hopefully able to start a new life. my old high school life as a i know it to be, is gone. I had so much fun living in north carolina, and i can't seem to find that fun here. i'm alone, with not many people i can stand to be with. it's official. my mom's crazy now. she takes more than 30 pills a day now and well, things aren't gonna get better. it's just gonna snowball from here. man, everything's just, depressing now. my life used to be so much fun, and now it's just not. i miss my timmy. i have the best time around him but now that he's up in st. louis, things are harder to get around. i wish i could explain how i feel, but i can't. i've dug such a huge hole and i can't get out of it.
right now, i can't even envision a future for myself. just wild fantasies of how i want my future to be. i want to leave my family so bad, but it's hard to. if i leave, my mom will have no one to look after her. but then again, she is a huge burden to me. i really think i need help now. i need someone to help me understand what's really wrong with me.
it's kind of scary realizing that in a year from now, i'll be out, on my own. gone far far away, hopefully able to start a new life. my old high school life as a i know it to be, is gone. I had so much fun living in north carolina, and i can't seem to find that fun here. i'm alone, with not many people i can stand to be with. it's official. my mom's crazy now. she takes more than 30 pills a day now and well, things aren't gonna get better. it's just gonna snowball from here. man, everything's just, depressing now. my life used to be so much fun, and now it's just not. i miss my timmy. i have the best time around him but now that he's up in st. louis, things are harder to get around. i wish i could explain how i feel, but i can't. i've dug such a huge hole and i can't get out of it.
right now, i can't even envision a future for myself. just wild fantasies of how i want my future to be. i want to leave my family so bad, but it's hard to. if i leave, my mom will have no one to look after her. but then again, she is a huge burden to me. i really think i need help now. i need someone to help me understand what's really wrong with me.