ahem!
erin is so great i could blow my nose on her right now... and it has a lot to give..i swear! i sneezed 25 times during the JROTC assembly today. im sick as a mofo! anyways, there is a lot i need to say but sometimes words dont come easy, even if its just typing them. In some ways, i feel like my entire life has been stripped away from me. all i can think of is my childhood memories that leave me empty inside. going through life not really knowing where your going, just trying to survive. im sure without my friends i wouldnt have, they gave me somewhat of a reason to keep trying even though i was ready to let go of it all. then i met nicole and it seemed like i had found my purpose. that she was my soulmate and we would be together forever. then like always, all good things must come to an end. i lost some friends, i gained some more. ...i mean where do you turn? i feel really lost and alone. part of me is gone and i dont feel like ill ever get it back. maybe thats the part that hurts the most. knowing ill go through life without the person i long to be with the most. ive never felt that way about anyone...guess thats why id rather die and live without her. thats why i hurt so much when i found out kayln and her were together. it was like my heart was ripped in half. im a forgiving person though, and my heart and intentions are true. i wish to each of them the best. and i cant promise ill always be here waiting, because sometimes you run out of time and effort. to all of those who have been there and helped me, i love you so much. you will never know, neither will i ever be able to repay you for what you have done.