Nothing lasts forever but the earth and sky
So my parents and Mikey left today. I'm here alone. Boy, here we go. I'm already all weepy. I don't know why I'm such a wreck. I can see things from a normal point of view, but I can't feel them. Not seeing a boyfriend for a month isn't a big deal. I should be able to concentrate on getting my school work done. But its not like that. I just want to hug someone so bad right now, I want kisses on my forehead. Anybody, just to tell me they love me. In person. I'm so addicted to physical touch. I don't even know why I write on here, I just feel so goddamn pathetic. Things were going okay, I've been going to therapy and getting to know myself better and how to handle the situation, and then a couple days ago Mikey says he's going to Arizona to help his mom watch Rainey. I should be glad he gets to see his family, and I am. But my mind can't handle this! I know how, but it doesn't work. I'm just longing for someone to be here with me right now. I don't want to keep on crying and feeling lonely, I want to do the things I never get a chance to outside of schoolwork and spending time with mikey, but I can't when my mind is plaguing me. I can't make it stop! I should be making pottery, homework, sewing, playing violin, meditating, something besides crying thinking about how I feel so alone and being stuck behind a goddamn computer! Whats wrong with me?! Why am I like this?! Why can't it stop?! Who the fuck even reads this and let alone cares?! NO ONE! It doesn't matter! Why can't I just be normal?!!? God and tomorrow I'll have a whole day of nothing to try to make something out of. I need to get my homework done, but I can't in this state of mind but it won't go away. I just want to see somebody.