bloodshot eyes and separated thighs..
last week, one of my aunts asked me for my new address. today, a package came for me in the mail. when i opened it, i quickly realized that i had been sent half of a nativity scene. i had no idea to do with such religious icons, so i put them in the liquor cabinet. and now mary, joseph, and the baby jesus are guarding and watching over the triple sec, creme de menth, and the captain morgans, respectively.