cah
the motto beneath my family's coat of arms reads:
"forti et fideli nil difficile"
i am rewriting it as:
"absurdity, uncertainty, and chance"
the three forces i hold closest to my heart.
and so the categorical imperative was rewritten across the wall. passed down to inherited self-reflection and i have to write it again. like my family hasn't seen enough of it. the weight of that responsibility. holding the pen with sincerity, shaping the ink and shaking, kierkegaard's trembling. things i said. things i want to say again. whatever.
lowell writes, "Maybe it's just my nature, but one seems to see-saw from a sort of rosy blandness to a blank, bare cracking feeling. It's like swimming in a pond littered with pieces of wood; one wonders if one has the energy to push through it all, then one floats gaily and the current draws one forward."