does he love me

Jul 31, 2009 00:38

Does he love me does he love me the thought runs through my brain does he love me almost insane. I ly awake wondering dreaming if he'll be there in the morning. I've never felt so many emotions at once it almost hurts. My heart's been torn apart and reassembled so many times and i wonder if all the stitches will just dissolve. Please love me honestly I miss feeling human. I miss myself. One day I'll be ok I know I will but how long from now? Every minute feels like eternity. Does he love me does he love me does he love the real me. The good the bad the inbetween. the highs the lows every smile every tear will he still be there. If i ran away would he come find me if i was dying would he be by my side. These thoughts run deeper than the oceans and my heart just wants to tell my brain to be quiet now.
Just breathe it'll be ok just trust for once maybe it'll actually work. Maybe all the fears and doubts will just melt away. Or will they? How do you really know if he loves you? Is it the words he says or the actions he's made because if so then i don't believe them. Nobody will ever truly love me. The real me the cold dark bitter me. I'm trapped in my head and I don't think I want to get out. If I do then I'll have to face this cruel world. I'd rather dream of a better place. One where someone wants to only be with me. Is sex really so important to everyone. It's essential I realize this but does it make the relationship. I'm still trying to figure that one out because I seem to only stay with people for good sex. It's such a double edged sword but why, can't I have both a good relationship and good sex. Please somebody help me before I go crazy. I don't know how much more I can take. I ran down the street the other day. Really ran ran from the pain the joy everything just to feel numb for a second. When your numb the world doesn't hurt so much. Please save me I really need your help I'm so lost.
Previous post
Up
[]