Reich & Rogers Psychotherapy, at your service!!
OK, this time i will put the conversation behind a cut because it is RATHER long, considerably longer than the last. but it is the discussion about the crazy dreams that Sean and I have been having, and us playing psychologist/junior detective to figure out what they mean. it's an honest-to-God-good-read!! and a little funny, too!!
ReichS435: ok
ReichS435: dreams
Popsicle6798: idon't remember any of the others vividly... i don't even remember last nights vividly
Popsicle6798: but there has been at like 6 over the last 2 weeks, and they are all pretty similar
ReichS435: ok
Popsicle6798: they aren't sex dreams,
Popsicle6798: but they all involve me, John (King), and Aaron
Popsicle6798: ok, like last night's was the first time there was more than cuddling,
Popsicle6798: usually its like, i am over there, drinking or whatever, fall asleep on their couch and wake up with one of them cuddling with me on the couch
Popsicle6798: last night it was weird cuz i was at their place, but it wasn't the place they actually live at
Popsicle6798: i had been kicked out, and didn't have anywhere to go, and john said i could come over for a while, and we ended up making out, and then someone came over and we were all hanging out and it turned into a party, and we were all falling asleep, and i was on the floor near aaron, and he get up, grabbed my hand, and walked me back to his room. nothing happened, but he was like, "i wanted to go to bed, but i felt like having a cuddlebuddy" and that's what happened we cuddled and fell asleep together.
Popsicle6798: it's bizaar. i did kiss aaron at some point in last nights dream but i don't remember how/when
ReichS435: well
ReichS435: im glad i was honest now....before you told me that
Popsicle6798: why?
ReichS435: dreaming about aaron of all people?
Popsicle6798: john too
ReichS435: your subconscious is telling you to be with one of them
Popsicle6798: i don't think that's what it is
Popsicle6798: not to be all "i took 2 semesters of psychology so i think i know it all" or anything, but....
ReichS435: i took one
ReichS435: lol
ReichS435: and got a B
ReichS435: lol
Popsicle6798: the thing is, whenever there is more than cuddling (like last night) it's with John....
Popsicle6798: but when it's just snuggling (which it usually is) 90% of the time it's aaron
Popsicle6798: SO
Popsicle6798: my theory is
Popsicle6798: i want a boyfriend. in town. one i can see, and be with and hug and kiss, and whatever.... and when i dream of anything like that it's JOhn.... understandable, i like him, he's cute/smart/funny he makes me happy, i love being around him, we click really well. etc. etc. etc.
Popsicle6798: BUT
Popsicle6798: usually i just dream about going over there and laying on the couch cuddling with aaron
Popsicle6798: aaron i would probably fuck, but never date
Popsicle6798: he's too big for me
Popsicle6798: too muscular
Popsicle6798: not my type
Popsicle6798: HOWEVER
Popsicle6798: lately i've been SO lonely, SO sad, so... vulnerable feeling, it makes sence that i would dream about cuddling with HIM, because he's bigger, stronger, more muscular, than john king OR my bf john
Popsicle6798: or alex
Popsicle6798: or most of the guys i know
Popsicle6798: it's a protection thing
Popsicle6798: even in the dreams i FEEL safe
Popsicle6798: it's the weirdest fucking thing
Popsicle6798: and i don't know how to make it stio
Popsicle6798: stop**
ReichS435: you cant
Popsicle6798: that
Popsicle6798: s reasuring
ReichS435: your subconscious is telling you things that your conscious mind wont
Popsicle6798: but it's not going to happen.
Popsicle6798: with either of them
ReichS435: cause you have john your john back in ohio
ReichS435: that i can understand
ReichS435: but your subconscious is leading to things that your conscious mind can't/won't interpret as being true
ReichS435: thats why you dream about it
Popsicle6798: it's not just cuzi have my john
Popsicle6798: john and aaron don't want me
ReichS435: "in your wildest dreams" is a term commonly used...and in most peoples subconscious, they actually dream about things that they want as a reality
ReichS435: god damn, i sound like a fuckin shrink
Popsicle6798: they didn't even invite me over tonight after we talked about it for 2 days
Popsicle6798: i don't THINK i want either of them
Popsicle6798: i want MY john
Popsicle6798: i want him to stop acting stupid
Popsicle6798: but i want him nonetheless
ReichS435: i know ash
Popsicle6798: i just want him HERE.
ReichS435: 2 weeks, 6 days
ReichS435: then hes here
Popsicle6798: i need to have someone near me
Popsicle6798: i am so clingy, and it sucks, but i need that physical comfort
ReichS435: is that why what happened between us happened?
Popsicle6798: maybe i'm not a strong enough person... maybe if i were comfortable enough with myself i wouldn't need someone near me, but i'm not and i do.
Popsicle6798: and john is going to some here, and for a week i am going to be the happiest most fulfilled person, because i will have everything i need...... and then he's going to leave, and god knows how long it will be before i see him again, and i will AGAIN be alone and lonely and feel like... THIS
Popsicle6798: i do think your right, i do think my subconscious is trying to tell me things
Popsicle6798: and i don't think i am fully understanding what it's saying
Popsicle6798: but it's not my fault
Popsicle6798: it's kinda like it's speaking chinese to me
Popsicle6798: and i don't know if you know this about me... but i DO NOT speak chinese
ReichS435: i kinda figured that much out
ReichS435: lol
Popsicle6798: haha
Popsicle6798: :-P
ReichS435: i dont know what to say
ReichS435: i really dont
ReichS435: i wanna cry actually
ReichS435: thats what i wanna do
Popsicle6798: i am crying
ReichS435: oh sweetheart, dont cry
ReichS435: in your heart, you know what you want
ReichS435: and thats what you gotta stick too
Popsicle6798: i don't know though...
Popsicle6798: my heart has failed me a lot of times
Popsicle6798: figuratively, of course
Popsicle6798: so don't make a comment about how yours has failed you, PLEASE
Popsicle6798: :-(
ReichS435: i was thinking it
ReichS435: but i wont say it
Popsicle6798: thank you
ReichS435: ok, i guess its time for me to have another honest moment
ReichS435: i think i know why i've been dreaming bout keys
ReichS435: and why you specifically werent in the dream that i had with keys
ReichS435: and why there was a great big ant in it
Popsicle6798: ok spill it
Popsicle6798: cuz i realy got NOTHING
ReichS435: you said that one day you could be AUNT ashley
ReichS435: to reilly
ReichS435: and you werent there, cause you havent found the key to my heart...figuratively speaking
Popsicle6798: hmmm... that could work
ReichS435: but you did....you just dont/didnt know it
Popsicle6798: i did have a theory, but that wasn't it
ReichS435: what was your theory?
Popsicle6798: well the keys, all the keys, and none of them being right, i kinda thought was you searching for where you belong, key to a house/car/whatever...... none of them being the right one (for you at least) because you don't feel you are where you belong yet, that's why you found Shana's keys, and Krysti's.... the vault was your feelings/emotions/your secret private hidden space... the ant on the other hand
Popsicle6798: i just saw it as a challenge, a big scary burden that was keeping you from finding the right keys, that materialized as a giant ant because you were in the woods, and there are lots of ants there...
Popsicle6798: oh... and i have my theories about the woods too
ReichS435: LOL
Popsicle6798: i figure the woods could be:
Popsicle6798: A). because that's the place you really feel at home/at peace, in the woods, which is why you couldn't find the right keys, cuz you didn't NEED keys
Popsicle6798: OR
Popsicle6798: B). the woods symbolized feeling lost/abandoned/in the middle of no where
Popsicle6798: but that's just all my theories about it.
Popsicle6798: i don't know that that's actually how you feel
ReichS435: i dunno
ReichS435: i know that i feel empty
ReichS435: i feel outta place
ReichS435: at dads i felt outta place
ReichS435: here i feel outta place
ReichS435: i dont know where my place in life is
Popsicle6798: hence the keys...
Popsicle6798: you couldn't find the "right ones"
Popsicle6798: but maybe all the random sets of keys WERE right... you just needed the doors they went to
Popsicle6798: oooooh....... SPOOOOOOOKY!!!!! LOL
ReichS435: is one to your house?
ReichS435: lol
ReichS435: maybe your heart....
ReichS435: dun dun dun
Popsicle6798: lol i dunno... where there any tiny black ones that has a spiderweb design on the handle?
ReichS435: ya like my dream was that detailed
ReichS435: i knew the big blue hand, cause it was right there
ReichS435: and i "saw" that in my dream
Popsicle6798: what big blue hand?
ReichS435: on shanas keychain
ReichS435: a big blue hand keychain
Popsicle6798: oh ok
Popsicle6798: lol
Popsicle6798: did you find any with lolliepop keychains?
ReichS435: ok
ReichS435: the only keychain that i really saw in my dream was shanas
Popsicle6798: oh ok
ReichS435: what the rest of them were, i wish i knew
ReichS435: i hope i have a continuation of the dream
ReichS435: i really do
ReichS435: i'd like to know whats going on
Popsicle6798: that would be pretty cool
ReichS435: ya, cause you'd know whats going on then
Popsicle6798: i kinda hope i don't dream about john and aaron again tonight, but i also kinda hope i do.
ReichS435: and maybe it can put to rest alot of unanswered questions
Popsicle6798: it weirds me out, and you are the first person i have told about them
Popsicle6798: but you know, as weird as i feel awake, it's the best sleep i have been getting when i'm dreaming about it, AND i feel good, at least while i'm asleep
ReichS435: well, cause we said that we'd have a conversation and analyze dreams together
Popsicle6798: LOL
Popsicle6798: Reich and Rogers Psychotherapy, at your service!!
ReichS435: LMAO
ReichS435: hahahahahah
ReichS435: i love it
ReichS435: ok
ReichS435: dreams
Popsicle6798: idon't remember any of the others vividly... i don't even remember last nights vividly
Popsicle6798: but there has been at like 6 over the last 2 weeks, and they are all pretty similar
ReichS435: ok
Popsicle6798: they aren't sex dreams,
Popsicle6798: but they all involve me, John (King), and Aaron
Popsicle6798: ok, like last night's was the first time there was more than cuddling,
Popsicle6798: usually its like, i am over there, drinking or whatever, fall asleep on their couch and wake up with one of them cuddling with me on the couch
Popsicle6798: last night it was weird cuz i was at their place, but it wasn't the place they actually live at
Popsicle6798: i had been kicked out, and didn't have anywhere to go, and john said i could come over for a while, and we ended up making out, and then someone came over and we were all hanging out and it turned into a party, and we were all falling asleep, and i was on the floor near aaron, and he get up, grabbed my hand, and walked me back to his room. nothing happened, but he was like, "i wanted to go to bed, but i felt like having a cuddlebuddy" and that's what happened we cuddled and fell asleep together.
Popsicle6798: it's bizaar. i did kiss aaron at some point in last nights dream but i don't remember how/when
ReichS435: well
ReichS435: im glad i was honest now....before you told me that
Popsicle6798: why?
ReichS435: dreaming about aaron of all people?
Popsicle6798: john too
ReichS435: your subconscious is telling you to be with one of them
Popsicle6798: i don't think that's what it is
Popsicle6798: not to be all "i took 2 semesters of psychology so i think i know it all" or anything, but....
ReichS435: i took one
ReichS435: lol
ReichS435: and got a B
ReichS435: lol
Popsicle6798: the thing is, whenever there is more than cuddling (like last night) it's with John....
Popsicle6798: but when it's just snuggling (which it usually is) 90% of the time it's aaron
Popsicle6798: SO
Popsicle6798: my theory is
Popsicle6798: i want a boyfriend. in town. one i can see, and be with and hug and kiss, and whatever.... and when i dream of anything like that it's JOhn.... understandable, i like him, he's cute/smart/funny he makes me happy, i love being around him, we click really well. etc. etc. etc.
Popsicle6798: BUT
Popsicle6798: usually i just dream about going over there and laying on the couch cuddling with aaron
Popsicle6798: aaron i would probably fuck, but never date
Popsicle6798: he's too big for me
Popsicle6798: too muscular
Popsicle6798: not my type
Popsicle6798: HOWEVER
Popsicle6798: lately i've been SO lonely, SO sad, so... vulnerable feeling, it makes sence that i would dream about cuddling with HIM, because he's bigger, stronger, more muscular, than john king OR my bf john
Popsicle6798: or alex
Popsicle6798: or most of the guys i know
Popsicle6798: it's a protection thing
Popsicle6798: even in the dreams i FEEL safe
Popsicle6798: it's the weirdest fucking thing
Popsicle6798: and i don't know how to make it stio
Popsicle6798: stop**
ReichS435: you cant
Popsicle6798: that
Popsicle6798: s reasuring
ReichS435: your subconscious is telling you things that your conscious mind wont
Popsicle6798: but it's not going to happen.
Popsicle6798: with either of them
ReichS435: cause you have john your john back in ohio
ReichS435: that i can understand
ReichS435: but your subconscious is leading to things that your conscious mind can't/won't interpret as being true
ReichS435: thats why you dream about it
Popsicle6798: it's not just cuzi have my john
Popsicle6798: john and aaron don't want me
ReichS435: "in your wildest dreams" is a term commonly used...and in most peoples subconscious, they actually dream about things that they want as a reality
ReichS435: god damn, i sound like a fuckin shrink
Popsicle6798: they didn't even invite me over tonight after we talked about it for 2 days
Popsicle6798: i don't THINK i want either of them
Popsicle6798: i want MY john
Popsicle6798: i want him to stop acting stupid
Popsicle6798: but i want him nonetheless
ReichS435: i know ash
Popsicle6798: i just want him HERE.
ReichS435: 2 weeks, 6 days
ReichS435: then hes here
Popsicle6798: i need to have someone near me
Popsicle6798: i am so clingy, and it sucks, but i need that physical comfort
ReichS435: is that why what happened between us happened?
Popsicle6798: maybe i'm not a strong enough person... maybe if i were comfortable enough with myself i wouldn't need someone near me, but i'm not and i do.
Popsicle6798: and john is going to some here, and for a week i am going to be the happiest most fulfilled person, because i will have everything i need...... and then he's going to leave, and god knows how long it will be before i see him again, and i will AGAIN be alone and lonely and feel like... THIS
Popsicle6798: i do think your right, i do think my subconscious is trying to tell me things
Popsicle6798: and i don't think i am fully understanding what it's saying
Popsicle6798: but it's not my fault
Popsicle6798: it's kinda like it's speaking chinese to me
Popsicle6798: and i don't know if you know this about me... but i DO NOT speak chinese
ReichS435: i kinda figured that much out
ReichS435: lol
Popsicle6798: haha
Popsicle6798: :-P
ReichS435: i dont know what to say
ReichS435: i really dont
ReichS435: i wanna cry actually
ReichS435: thats what i wanna do
Popsicle6798: i am crying
ReichS435: oh sweetheart, dont cry
ReichS435: in your heart, you know what you want
ReichS435: and thats what you gotta stick too
Popsicle6798: i don't know though...
Popsicle6798: my heart has failed me a lot of times
Popsicle6798: figuratively, of course
Popsicle6798: so don't make a comment about how yours has failed you, PLEASE
Popsicle6798: :-(
ReichS435: i was thinking it
ReichS435: but i wont say it
Popsicle6798: thank you
ReichS435: ok, i guess its time for me to have another honest moment
ReichS435: i think i know why i've been dreaming bout keys
ReichS435: and why you specifically werent in the dream that i had with keys
ReichS435: and why there was a great big ant in it
Popsicle6798: ok spill it
Popsicle6798: cuz i realy got NOTHING
ReichS435: you said that one day you could be AUNT ashley
ReichS435: to reilly
ReichS435: and you werent there, cause you havent found the key to my heart...figuratively speaking
Popsicle6798: hmmm... that could work
ReichS435: but you did....you just dont/didnt know it
Popsicle6798: i did have a theory, but that wasn't it
ReichS435: what was your theory?
Popsicle6798: well the keys, all the keys, and none of them being right, i kinda thought was you searching for where you belong, key to a house/car/whatever...... none of them being the right one (for you at least) because you don't feel you are where you belong yet, that's why you found Shana's keys, and Krysti's.... the vault was your feelings/emotions/your secret private hidden space... the ant on the other hand
Popsicle6798: i just saw it as a challenge, a big scary burden that was keeping you from finding the right keys, that materialized as a giant ant because you were in the woods, and there are lots of ants there...
Popsicle6798: oh... and i have my theories about the woods too
ReichS435: LOL
Popsicle6798: i figure the woods could be:
Popsicle6798: A). because that's the place you really feel at home/at peace, in the woods, which is why you couldn't find the right keys, cuz you didn't NEED keys
Popsicle6798: OR
Popsicle6798: B). the woods symbolized feeling lost/abandoned/in the middle of no where
Popsicle6798: but that's just all my theories about it.
Popsicle6798: i don't know that that's actually how you feel
ReichS435: i dunno
ReichS435: i know that i feel empty
ReichS435: i feel outta place
ReichS435: at dads i felt outta place
ReichS435: here i feel outta place
ReichS435: i dont know where my place in life is
Popsicle6798: hence the keys...
Popsicle6798: you couldn't find the "right ones"
Popsicle6798: but maybe all the random sets of keys WERE right... you just needed the doors they went to
Popsicle6798: oooooh....... SPOOOOOOOKY!!!!! LOL
ReichS435: is one to your house?
ReichS435: lol
ReichS435: maybe your heart....
ReichS435: dun dun dun
Popsicle6798: lol i dunno... where there any tiny black ones that has a spiderweb design on the handle?
ReichS435: ya like my dream was that detailed
ReichS435: i knew the big blue hand, cause it was right there
ReichS435: and i "saw" that in my dream
Popsicle6798: what big blue hand?
ReichS435: on shanas keychain
ReichS435: a big blue hand keychain
Popsicle6798: oh ok
Popsicle6798: lol
Popsicle6798: did you find any with lolliepop keychains?
ReichS435: ok
ReichS435: the only keychain that i really saw in my dream was shanas
Popsicle6798: oh ok
ReichS435: what the rest of them were, i wish i knew
ReichS435: i hope i have a continuation of the dream
ReichS435: i really do
ReichS435: i'd like to know whats going on
Popsicle6798: that would be pretty cool
ReichS435: ya, cause you'd know whats going on then
Popsicle6798: i kinda hope i don't dream about john and aaron again tonight, but i also kinda hope i do.
ReichS435: and maybe it can put to rest alot of unanswered questions
Popsicle6798: it weirds me out, and you are the first person i have told about them
Popsicle6798: but you know, as weird as i feel awake, it's the best sleep i have been getting when i'm dreaming about it, AND i feel good, at least while i'm asleep
ReichS435: well, cause we said that we'd have a conversation and analyze dreams together
Popsicle6798: LOL
Popsicle6798: Reich and Rogers Psychotherapy, at your service!!
ReichS435: LMAO
ReichS435: hahahahahah
ReichS435: i love it