(no subject)
A BEDTIME STORY
Once upon a time there lived a boy called Mickolito, and he was the biggest brat in the
Kingdom of Cunnilingus. One day after brutally murdering his Granny, the Queen Mother of Minge (because she wouldn't tie his shoelaces for him,) he was evicted from Cunnilingus Castle. "well that was a bit dramatic, i mean i only dropped the piano on her head and spoon fed her innards to my mutated gerbal"
So faced to live a life without his parents riches he was slightly distraught, but he knew he must get on with it. He never really had a bond with his parents anyway..in fact he can still remeber his mummys first words about him just after his birth...
'YOU BASTARD! I told you to wear a condom but no….you said you were sterile!!!! Let me at him! I’m gonna kill him!'
But deep down inside Mickolito knew his mother was happy for cried tears of joy.....for 7 months. And every birthday she writes such sweet things on his birthday cards
like 'you unwanted streak of piss, one day im gonna get you'
and 'i swear to Allah you are as useful as your 'fathers' left testicle, which by the way i popped after he got me knoked up.'
Love in its truest form!!!
After such a traumatic childhood....(the gardener used to ask him to find the conker) school wasn't exactly the best of times either.
'I never was the most popular person at school' he thought. 'But I think that’s because I the other girls were jealous of my beauty and riches'
And then there was the time at the school trip to the cookie factory, he was a little it excited when he got off the bus, so excited in fact he ran through the wall....
Luckily the foreman was prepared for this
'Folks we have code T17, Mickolito finally found us! No time for any action plans just pray...for the love of god pray!'
Mickolito ran through all the walls eating cookie dough from machines, pushing people to the side, breaking necks etc he then got up on walkway above the machines, but because he ate so much cookie dought the bridge couldnt cope with his weight and it broke, plunging him in to the churner and gettin stuck stuck
Because of this he got expelled from school
'I think he was over dramatic', he thought. 'the factory wasn’t that badly damaged…'
the factory collpased the second he was rescued
the factory boss wasn't exactly over the moon
'Awww no!!!! my factory, it was supposed to be demolished after the sale…..AFTER!!!!DAMN YOU MICKOLITO WAAAAAA!'
But anyway back to Mickolito's current situation. He decided to go for a walk in the village to see if he could find somewhere to stay, he came upon a man standing outside his house and said hello to him. The man replied...
Hi. I'm Flautenz McShamoo and I have Diabetes. It hurts me to pee and it causes me to be short with my family. I can't sleep at night. The other day I stubbed my toe and I took it out on the dog. And two weeks ago I ran out of vanilla ice cream and struck my wife. Then I find out my wife's been dead for six years. Who the hell did I hit?!'
Mickolito quietly backed away....
Next he came along a woman out putting out her washing, Mickolito aproached her and said hi...
'Hi im Stitzy Frigidbean...and what do you think you are doing on my property???'
'I am the prince of this kingdom and i shall roam where i want' he replied
'well if you are going to do that at least make yourself useful and put out my washing for me'
Mickolito disgruntled, does it. While attempting the task at hand he accidentally pulls down the washing line which in turn pulls down the side of her house....
Once upon a time there lived a boy called Mickolito, and he was the biggest brat in the
Kingdom of Cunnilingus. One day after brutally murdering his Granny, the Queen Mother of Minge (because she wouldn't tie his shoelaces for him,) he was evicted from Cunnilingus Castle. "well that was a bit dramatic, i mean i only dropped the piano on her head and spoon fed her innards to my mutated gerbal"
So faced to live a life without his parents riches he was slightly distraught, but he knew he must get on with it. He never really had a bond with his parents anyway..in fact he can still remeber his mummys first words about him just after his birth...
'YOU BASTARD! I told you to wear a condom but no….you said you were sterile!!!! Let me at him! I’m gonna kill him!'
But deep down inside Mickolito knew his mother was happy for cried tears of joy.....for 7 months. And every birthday she writes such sweet things on his birthday cards
like 'you unwanted streak of piss, one day im gonna get you'
and 'i swear to Allah you are as useful as your 'fathers' left testicle, which by the way i popped after he got me knoked up.'
Love in its truest form!!!
After such a traumatic childhood....(the gardener used to ask him to find the conker) school wasn't exactly the best of times either.
'I never was the most popular person at school' he thought. 'But I think that’s because I the other girls were jealous of my beauty and riches'
And then there was the time at the school trip to the cookie factory, he was a little it excited when he got off the bus, so excited in fact he ran through the wall....
Luckily the foreman was prepared for this
'Folks we have code T17, Mickolito finally found us! No time for any action plans just pray...for the love of god pray!'
Mickolito ran through all the walls eating cookie dough from machines, pushing people to the side, breaking necks etc he then got up on walkway above the machines, but because he ate so much cookie dought the bridge couldnt cope with his weight and it broke, plunging him in to the churner and gettin stuck stuck
Because of this he got expelled from school
'I think he was over dramatic', he thought. 'the factory wasn’t that badly damaged…'
the factory collpased the second he was rescued
the factory boss wasn't exactly over the moon
'Awww no!!!! my factory, it was supposed to be demolished after the sale…..AFTER!!!!DAMN YOU MICKOLITO WAAAAAA!'
But anyway back to Mickolito's current situation. He decided to go for a walk in the village to see if he could find somewhere to stay, he came upon a man standing outside his house and said hello to him. The man replied...
Hi. I'm Flautenz McShamoo and I have Diabetes. It hurts me to pee and it causes me to be short with my family. I can't sleep at night. The other day I stubbed my toe and I took it out on the dog. And two weeks ago I ran out of vanilla ice cream and struck my wife. Then I find out my wife's been dead for six years. Who the hell did I hit?!'
Mickolito quietly backed away....
Next he came along a woman out putting out her washing, Mickolito aproached her and said hi...
'Hi im Stitzy Frigidbean...and what do you think you are doing on my property???'
'I am the prince of this kingdom and i shall roam where i want' he replied
'well if you are going to do that at least make yourself useful and put out my washing for me'
Mickolito disgruntled, does it. While attempting the task at hand he accidentally pulls down the washing line which in turn pulls down the side of her house....