To clarify.
School work is not what is getting me upset.
School is just the final thing that I just can't take it anymore.
It's the fact that I have a lot of emotions - hate, anger, regret, so on - that I never dealt with from this time a year ago, so they're catching up with me.
I was laying on the floor of Hub's trailer crying earlier, and I don't want anyone to think that it was because I am that school obsessed. No. It's because of all of the stuff I never dealt with coming to a boil inside me. I'm quite literal when I say that. I can feel it rising in me, and all of my limbs and then my face start to tingle and go numb. That's starting to happen again.
I need to fix this and fast. Thus I'm going to go to my room and just think for a while. If I happen to be not so talkative on Wednesday, this would be why.
And fuck school. I would just not go if I felt that would help my situation in any way shape or form, but it would actually just make it worse. So uh.....yeah.
I can feel my apathy returning. I can't decide if that's good or bad, because soon I'll start feeling bad about feeling apathetic, or mad at myself for being apathetic, because in not giving half a shit now, I'm fucking myself over in the future. But on the other side of it, I won't be stressed for no apparent reason. Really. I have no reason to be so stressed or upset. I have a relatively happy life. I don't have anything to be stressed about - sure I have a lot of schoolwork, but everyone does. Welcome to high school. I'm in a very happy relationship, and my friends are all currently not fighting/arguing/being emo.
.... Whatever.
School is just the final thing that I just can't take it anymore.
It's the fact that I have a lot of emotions - hate, anger, regret, so on - that I never dealt with from this time a year ago, so they're catching up with me.
I was laying on the floor of Hub's trailer crying earlier, and I don't want anyone to think that it was because I am that school obsessed. No. It's because of all of the stuff I never dealt with coming to a boil inside me. I'm quite literal when I say that. I can feel it rising in me, and all of my limbs and then my face start to tingle and go numb. That's starting to happen again.
I need to fix this and fast. Thus I'm going to go to my room and just think for a while. If I happen to be not so talkative on Wednesday, this would be why.
And fuck school. I would just not go if I felt that would help my situation in any way shape or form, but it would actually just make it worse. So uh.....yeah.
I can feel my apathy returning. I can't decide if that's good or bad, because soon I'll start feeling bad about feeling apathetic, or mad at myself for being apathetic, because in not giving half a shit now, I'm fucking myself over in the future. But on the other side of it, I won't be stressed for no apparent reason. Really. I have no reason to be so stressed or upset. I have a relatively happy life. I don't have anything to be stressed about - sure I have a lot of schoolwork, but everyone does. Welcome to high school. I'm in a very happy relationship, and my friends are all currently not fighting/arguing/being emo.
.... Whatever.