Rant...because I can do that....
Too much to say and not a lot of time to say it. I can't believe that I allowed myself to get involved in such a childish game. Once again...I've let myself and my heart down. Now...it's time for a pick me up. At 2100 hours I will be shit faced drunk...trying to convince myself that I don't care about you...but the truth is..I do. No matter how much I try to change it...I do care about you. In all of these little encounters I have fallen faster and no matter how hard I try, I can't help myself. I don't regret you. It's my fault. I told you that I didn't want a relationship, I know I did. But I didn't think I would actually start to care about you. You sucked me in so deep that I don't think I can get out. To be perfectly honest, I don't want it to stop. I know what I said, I'm not saying that I don't, but now I'm saying that I care so much about you, I don't think I can handle another heartbreak...and that's what your going to be. Just another heartbreak. I'm sorry i let you down. I'm sorry that I can't be what she was, or what you need, or what you think that you need. But you do need, or what you said you need, is someone who cares about you...and that's me. But to be perfectly honest, you don't want me anymore. You're finished. I know you are. So why don't you just tell me. Just call me and tell me that you finished so that I can try to move on. PLEASE Now that that is over and done with...you won't read this...and that's a relief. I shouldn't tell you this, and I never will. It will continue on until we just drift apart...which seems like today. Maybe...you will realize what you have done. Please don't hate me...
"It hurts to write this...but I think I love you"
"It hurts to write this...but I think I love you"