Fic: Supernatural: Dean/Future Cas: The Long Road Back: (26/28)
special thank you to my beta weslyn, who as always, helped me to make this chapter as good as it can be.
Title: The Long Road Back
Author: nicole9514
Rating: R
Chapters: 26/28
Warnings: gore,language,violence, drug use, slash
Spoilers: only up to 5 X 4 (but you'll see me draw from information we found out later)
Characters/Pairings: focus on Dean/Future Cas but also Risa, Chuck, OC's, LuciferSam, and future Dean.
Disclaimer: Supernatural is not mine and I don't own anything but a few OC's and the errors.
Summary: AU 5 X 04 The End fic. In many ways this will be a fix it story (but not in all ways). Dean stops his future self from sending Cas and the others into a trap and Zachariah seems to be missing in action. Dean has to figure out where to go from here.
A/N: This fic has been consuming my brain in a good way. I really wanted to play around in this world, i love apocalyptic type settings, and i thought it would be a good way to keep myself busy during the hiatus. This story is going to have action,violence, and some death but the focus of this fic will be a slowly evolving love story in the middle of a world gone to hell between a certain hunter and a certain fallen angel. If you have a problem with that, don't read it.
Word count: 3541 (60,000 total)
Chapter One Chapter Eight Chapter 15 Chapter 22
Chapter Two Chapter Nine Chapter 16 Chapter 23
Chapter Three Chapter Ten Chapter 17 Chapter 24
Chapter Four Chapter Eleven Chapter 18 Chapter 25
Chapter Five Chapter Twelve Chapter 19
Chapter Six Chapter Thirteen Chapter 20
Chapter Seven Chapter Fourteen Chapter 21
The rest of the drive was uneventful.
Dean kept expecting Sam to wake up any moment and start bitching about the lack of leg room in the back of the truck. He had to force himself not to glance behind him every minute searching for any sign that his brother was still in there.
Each and every time he couldn’t resist looking into the backseat, his heart sank with disappointment.
Sam never moved, or made a sound.
Dean looked back one more time as they approached the camp. It was still dark out, but he could see his brother’s outline. “Sam, you better get your ass up soon, or I’m going to be forced to kick it.”
Sam didn’t react.
Dean held back a sigh, and ignored the ache deep in the pit of his stomach.
The car stopped.
“We’re home.” Cas gave him a small smile.
Dean nodded “Let‘s go tell Molly she‘s got a new patient.”
****
Cas jogged over to Molly’s cabin, he’d left Dean to watch over Sam. His footsteps sounded loud in the still, dark night. The camp was sleeping with the exception of a few guards; he waved off and sent back to their posts with the promise of further explanations later.
Later he’d tell everyone what had happened, give them the ‘good news.’ Right now, he knew Dean didn’t need mob of people celebrating their victory while his brother lay comatose in their truck.
His boots clomped on the old steps that led up to Molly’s door. Her cabin was directly behind the shed they classified as the infirmary, so she could get there quickly during emergencies.
He didn’t really believe Molly could help Sam, but there was always that small chance.
Cas took a deep breath and knocked loudly on the door, after waiting about twenty seconds, he banged on it again and tried the knob. It was locked, and knowing Molly barricaded shut from inside. She’d once told him she wasn’t going to wake up one day to a snarling Croat in her face. A little bit of paranoia was a good thing in today’s world.
“Who‘s there?” said a hoarse, sleep-heavy voice.
“Molly, it’s Cas.”
“Cas,” he could hear surprise and relief in her tone.
There was a dragging sound, a lock clicking, and the door flew open.
Cas smiled despite himself at her disheveled appearance. Blonde hair sticking up all over the place, over-sized gray sweats, and a t-shirt that read: You might be a nurse if you firmly believe that ‘too stupid to live‘ should be a diagnosis.
“You’re back,” she exclaimed, throwing her arms around him in a quick hug. “Is Dean okay?” she asked while pulling back quickly, an expression of urgency on her face.
“No, it’s not Dean,” he reassured her.
“What’s going on?” she asked, looking confused.
“Molly,“ he paused, realizing how glad he was that this feisty nurse was the first person he would give this information to; after he’d broken his ankle Molly had become a friend. Cas hadn’t really let anyone in after Bizarro Dean, but Molly hadn’t cared, she’d been his friend anyway. Sitting by him daily while he‘d been confined to bed, talking to him, teasing him, never letting him wallow in his misery for too long during that three months. His throat felt tight. “We did it.”
Her eyes widened - she got it in one. “The devil, he‘s gone?”
“He’s gone.”
Tears started to fall and she didn’t try and wipe them away, she wasn’t ashamed of them.
“But Sam, Dean’s brother, - he needs your help,” Cas felt his own tear sneak out. He didn’t wipe his away either.
Molly nodded, spun, grabbed a pair of shoes, shoved them on and said, “Lead the way.”
*****
They’d moved Sam using a homemade stretcher, made out of wood and a thick, sturdy blanket Cas and Molly had retrieved from the make-shift infirmary. Cas and Dean had brought Sam’s still motionless, limp body back to the infirmary and laid him on the table.
Dean was hovering, Cas put a hand on his shoulder and quietly whispered. “Why don’t we give Molly some room?”
Dean nodded, but his eyes never left Sam as he allowed Cas to guide him backwards, against the wall.
Molly moved in, an old stethoscope around her neck, and leaned over Sam. She opened his eyes, using Dean‘s borrowed flashlight to shine a light in them. Her jaw and eyes were tight, her long blonde hair hung in a limp ponytail, the edges of her locks brushed against Sam’s face.
Cas wondered if Sam felt it tickling his skin, he wondered if Sam was feeling anything at all. The thought made him queasy, and his heart ached. Sam, you need to wake up.
Molly opened up Sam’s jacket, then lifted his shirt, her face calm, her hands steady as she put the ear buds of the stethoscope in place, then placed the diaphragm over Sam’s heart, listening. After several minutes, she moved it down to his lungs, and was still for a while.
She pulled the earpieces out, rose to full height, and grabbed a small hammer with a rubber tip off the shelf behind her. She gently hit Sam on his knees, Cas watched as each leg jerked.
She set the hammer down, and placed her hand on Sam’s forehead.
Her gaze lifted off of Sam, and met Dean’s. “Physically, your brother seems fine.”
Dean stepped forward, stopping when he reached the table.
“Mentally,” Molly sighed, “Dean I’m sorry. I don’t know.” Frustration leaked into her words as she started to pace. “If I had a damn MRI or even a CT maybe I could tell you something, but with what I’m working with…”
Her gaze went back to Sam, her eyes sad, her shoulders slumped. “He could wake up in five minutes, or,” she swallowed, hesitated a moment, but Molly wasn’t one to pull her punches, “he might never.”
Dean gripped the edges of the table, looked down at Sam, and swallowed hard.
Cas moved slowly, and quietly and came to stand next to him.
“But I wouldn’t give up on him yet,” Molly added, “If he’s even half as stubborn as his older brother, I’d say he’s got a fighting chance.”
Cas gave her a grateful smile. “She’s right, hell, he’s more stubborn than you.”
Dean raised his head and snorted, giving them both tired smiles, even though his eyes were too bright.
*****
Cas rubbed at his heavy eyes and watched the man he loved keep a constant vigil over his younger brother. They had brought Sam to their cabin and placed him on the bed Dean had once occupied. Dean had pulled a chair up near the head of the bed, sat down, and hadn’t moved.
That had been ten hours ago.
Dean’s shoulders were sagging, his head rested on the palm of his hand, the other hand kept clenching and unclenching around the blanket Sam was laying on.
Cas walked over to Dean, squeezed his shoulder. Dean glanced up at him, his eyes were bloodshot, his shirt rumpled, and his hair in disarray “No change,” Dean murmured.
Cas bent down and brushed his lips against Dean’s chapped ones. “Give him time,” he whispered, then before his eyes could do more than burn, he headed for the kitchen.
Cas walked into the kitchen, riffled through the cupboard, and pulled out a jar of honey.
He grabbed one of the few spoons they had, another chair, and hauled it all over to where Dean was sitting.
“The meeting went well,” Cas hedged, not wanting to rub salt into Dean’s wounds but knowing they needed to discuss this. Cas tapped the sides of the jar with his fingers as he waited for Dean to respond.
Dean tore his green eyes away from Sam, and gave him a weak smile. “I’ll bet.”
Cas nudged him with his elbow. He had told everyone earlier today about their victory. Anyone that wasn’t on guard duty was celebrating - meaning they were all taking turns doing shots of watered down moonshine so there would be plenty for everyone.
Cas knew Dean wasn’t in the mood to join in, frankly, neither was he. “They all wanted me to send their thanks, and well wishes for your brother.”
Dean swallowed, smacked his lips together, and whispered. “Yeah.”
Cas offered him the jar of honey, expecting a fight, but Dean only sighed, and took the jar limply. He swallowed a spoonful, and started poking at the remaining contents with the spoon.
“There’s a lot of people wanting to come by an-”
Dean’s head shot up. “My brother isn’t some freak show for them to come gawk at, Cas.”
Cas held up a hand, his expression gentle. “That’s not why they want to come, Dean. They care about you and they appreciate what you’ve done.”
Dean snorted. “Tell them to bake me a casserole.”
Cas suppressed a roll of his eyes. “I told them no Dean. I know you want to be alone right now, but don’t forget there are people who care about you. You don’t have to shoulder this burden all by yourself.” Cas rested his hand over Dean’s.
“I’m here.”
“I know that, Cas.”
“Then go get some sleep. Let me watch Sam for awhile.”
Dean shook his head. “Not yet.” He squeezed Cas’s hand. “Later.”
Cas didn’t argue, he simply nodded and joined Dean in keeping watch.
*****
It had been two days since they’d brought Sam home. No change.
Dean was still sitting in that same spot. He only got up to pee and he only ate when Cas shoved food in his face. He’d slept off and on in that chair, refusing even to go into the bedroom five feet away. His body had to be protesting, but he wouldn’t move.
Enough was enough.
Cas got Molly to back him up; he knew he’d probably need the help, and she was one of the few people Dean might trust enough to watch Sam while he dragged him from the cabin, Kicking and screaming if necessary.
“Dean.”
Dean lifted his head, eyes blinking, jaw lined with stubble.
“We’re going for a walk.”
“What?” His expression and tone were one of confusion.
“You need to get out.”
Dean shook his head. “I’m fine.”
Molly stepped forward. “No. You’re starting to grow mold. When your brother wakes up he needs you to be at your best,” she leaned closer, making sure Dean was listening, "and Dean, right now, you are not fit to take care of a rat.”
Dean started to snap something, Cas cut him off.
“Just for one hour, Dean. Come with me for one hour. Get some fresh air, clear your head, stretch your muscles, and reassure everyone I’m not keeping you tied up and shoved in a closet somewhere.”
Dean’s mouth twitched a little. “If I do this, will you both leave me the hell alone?”
“As long as you promise to bathe,” Molly waved her hand in front of her nose. “You’re getting pretty ripe, and poor Cas does not deserve to have to smell you from across the room.”
Cas chuckled, he saw Dean’s shoulders relax. He muttered something, but stood up, groaning a bit as he stretched. Cas could hear his bones popping and see that Dean had been just as stiff as he’d imagined.
Dean patted Sam’s shoulder and said, “I’ll be back soon, Sammy.”
“I’ll take good care of him, Dean. I won’t leave his side.” Molly had on her determined expression that nobody in their right mind could doubt.
“Thanks,” Dean replied, his tone civil, but Cas could tell he was fighting the impulse to sit right back down in that chair.
Cas grabbed the bag he’d prepared for this; it was full of soap, food, and a washcloth and they headed out.
******
As they stepped outside, Cas slung the backpack over his shoulder, and took Dean’s hand. He enjoyed the feel of their fingers locked together. Dean didn’t pull away, and he sensed no discomfort from him through their bond.
Cas turned his face up towards the sky, enjoying the feel of the sun on his skin.
“I want to take you to that creek I told you about awhile back.”
Dean chuckled. “Damn, I must really stink.”
Cas laughed quietly. “I didn’t want to say anything, but I’m pretty sure my nose hairs got a bit singed when I got too close to you in there.”
Dean smiled, a huge grin that lit up his weary face. “Shut up, you asshole.”
Cas steered Dean towards the back of the camp.
They received many waves from various residents of the camp they passed, and warm smiles but no one stopped them to make conversation.
Cas had asked them all to give Dean space. They were respecting that request.
As they neared the rear of the camp, the trees got denser. They weaved through them, stepping over roots and branches. The sound of water running reached Cas’s ears.
After another few feet, the creek came into view. It was about four feet wide and carved a meandering path through the woods. The fence protecting the camp was visible on the other side of the water, leaving only a meter of ground before the perimeter ended.
Dean had his eyes closed and was breathing deeply. “Cas,” Dean paused, seeming suddenly unsure of what he wanted to say. “Thanks.”
“Anytime,” he let go of Dean’s hand and set the bag on the ground. He tossed Dean the soap and the cloth, Dean grinned and nodded his thanks.
Cas watched as Dean pulled his shirt off over his head, savoring the view, and happy in the knowledge that he didn’t have to feel guilty about sneaking glances at Dean when he didn’t know he was looking.
Dean noticed him watching and gave him a smug grin before walking to the edge of the water.
Cas sat cross-legged on a soft patch of dirt, and ran his fingers through the grass, watching Dean as he settled down into a crouch. He dipped the cloth into the water and lathered it up with soap, and started with his face.
Cas knew now was not the time to be having dirty thoughts; the past few days had been hard. Dean was tired and worried to death over his brother. He’d probably want to head straight back to the cabin when he was done.
It was a miracle he’d convinced him to leave at all.
Cas told himself all of this as he sat there trying not to notice the curve of Dean’s back or his broad shoulders. The way the water ran down his spine as he scrubbed at his shoulders. Heat started to build in all the right places.
Shit. Now who’s the dog in heat?
It was impossible to watch Dean half-naked, rubbing himself down with a washcloth and not get a little turned on.
Dean turned, Cas felt the start of a blush creep into his cheeks but he met Dean’s gaze.
His expression was still worn, but he was giving Cas one of those looks that made him tingle down below. “I could use some help getting my back.”
Cas swallowed, stood, and settled down at Dean’s side, taking the cloth. He applied more soap, then gently began working off almost a weeks worth of dirt and sweat. Enjoying the closeness, the heat of Dean’s breath as he watched Cas clean him.
They hadn’t slept in the same bed for the past few nights, and their trip to Chicago hadn’t exactly left time for physical intimacy. Cas had missed this, touching Dean’s skin.
Dean surprised him by leaning against him, his head resting on Cas’s shoulder. Perhaps he had missed the closeness as well.
Cas worked the cloth down to his lower back, breathing in a very fresh smelling Dean.
He felt Dean’s rough lips, brush against his neck, feather light kisses that had a quiet moan slipping from Cas’s mouth before he could stop it.
Dean chuckled against his throat. “I love it when you make that sound,” he murmured, pulling back and cupping the back of Cas’s neck with his hand.
He stared at him for several long moments, green eyes a heart breaking mixture of sadness and joy, that had Cas’s stomach twisting.
Sam had to wake up - Dean didn’t deserve to suffer like this.
“Dean,” he whispered, trying to find the words that might offer comfort.
Dean silenced him by gently sucking on Cas’s bottom lip, then kissing him, long and deep. Cas melted into the gesture, basking in the affection and warmth he could feel from Dean.
Someone laughed off in the distance and Dean gave a contented sigh as they pulled apart, heads turning towards the sound, but Cas saw nothing but trees.
It seemed some people were still celebrating.
“I‘ve been hearing a lot more of that lately.” Dean breathed.
Cas faced him. “So have I.”
Dean’s expression went blank, his mind somewhere else, then he blinked and forced a smile.
Cas swallowed. Dean had gotten that look on his face too much lately, and Cas worried what it might mean. He feared Dean was regretting his decision not to take a chance on Lucifer’s deal. With his brother lying comatose, the past was probably starting to look real good.
Cas needed to know if Dean was happy being here with him.
He wanted to ask Dean about it, but so far he’d refrained. Dean had enough on his mind without Cas stirring the pot.
But the question refused to stop clawing at the back of his mind, and it had been getting more persistent with every minute that passed without Sam waking up.
Cas felt the words fall from his lips like water. “Do you wish you’d taken Lucifer up on his offer to send you home?” He bit his bottom lip and stopped himself from adding, Do you regret being stuck here with me?
Dean stiffened and his face became unreadable. He stared at Cas intently for several moments. Cas felt as if Dean were trying to see through his skin, it wasn’t unpleasant, just unexpected. He focused on the steady link between them that seemed to be growing stronger.
Dean was scared, and desperately worried about Sam, but there was something else underneath the surface that warmed the cold weight that had settled in Cas’s belly. The feeling was complex; it made his throat tighten and his eyes burn.
“Do you remember what you said to me about not regretting anything that had happened since I arrived?”
Cas felt his eyes widen. “Of course.”
Dean nodded, his green eyes open and honest. “Neither do I.”
Cas believed him.
He leaned in and kissed Dean on the corner of his mouth, lingering for a moment. “Let’s go check on Sam.”
****
Dean munched on the cooked rice Cas had offered for their walk back. It didn’t have much taste, but he was hungry. He hated being away from Sam’s side, but the sort of bath and fresh air had made him feel a hell of a lot better.
His head felt clearer, and his body wasn’t bitching nearly as much.
Being alone with Cas had helped as well; maybe he’d let Cas drag him outside tomorrow.
As they neared the cabin, Dean saw Chuck come out through the beads. He glared daggers at the man as he approached. The last thing he wanted was gossip about Sam spreading through the camp. He didn’t trust Chuck not to open his mouth about Sam‘s condition.
Chuck ducked his head as he noticed their approach, and looked like a kid who’d been caught with his hand in the cookie jar.
Before Dean could tear Chuck a new one, Chuck rushed into an explanation, his tone compassionate and earnest. “Molly told me no visitors - it’s not her fault.” Chuck met his eyes, “But I wanted to see him.” He took another step closer, his hands beseeching. “He’s a,” Chuck swallowed, and stood up straighter. “He’s a friend.”
Dean inhaled quietly, and nodded, his anger retreating. He suddenly felt like a dick for his over-protective streak. Chuck wouldn’t hurt Sam, and he was surprised by how much emotion and understanding was flickering in the former prophet’s eyes, Chuck seemed different; the world being kicked in the teeth had really made him grow up.
Dean was surprised he hadn’t noticed this until now.
“Thanks, Chuck.” Dean replied, and he meant it.
Chuck’s posture relaxed, as he nodded, smiled, and walked away.
“See,” Cas nudged him., “he’s not so bad.”
Dean shrugged, and neither confirmed nor denied this.
They walked another few steps when the sound of the cheap plastic beads clacking together drew their attention. Molly had burst through them, her eyes wide.
“Dean!” She hollered, frantic.
Dean’s stomach dropped, and his pulse rose as he and Cas ran for the cabin. A hundred terrible possibilities crashed into his brain, making it impossible to think about anything else.
Molly grabbed his shoulders as she met him at the bottom of the steps. “He‘s awake!”
Next Chapter
Feel free to friend this journal for the insanity :)
Comments are always loved and adored, how else will I know if anyone is still reading/enjoying this :)
Title: The Long Road Back
Author: nicole9514
Rating: R
Chapters: 26/28
Warnings: gore,language,violence, drug use, slash
Spoilers: only up to 5 X 4 (but you'll see me draw from information we found out later)
Characters/Pairings: focus on Dean/Future Cas but also Risa, Chuck, OC's, LuciferSam, and future Dean.
Disclaimer: Supernatural is not mine and I don't own anything but a few OC's and the errors.
Summary: AU 5 X 04 The End fic. In many ways this will be a fix it story (but not in all ways). Dean stops his future self from sending Cas and the others into a trap and Zachariah seems to be missing in action. Dean has to figure out where to go from here.
A/N: This fic has been consuming my brain in a good way. I really wanted to play around in this world, i love apocalyptic type settings, and i thought it would be a good way to keep myself busy during the hiatus. This story is going to have action,violence, and some death but the focus of this fic will be a slowly evolving love story in the middle of a world gone to hell between a certain hunter and a certain fallen angel. If you have a problem with that, don't read it.
Word count: 3541 (60,000 total)
Chapter One Chapter Eight Chapter 15 Chapter 22
Chapter Two Chapter Nine Chapter 16 Chapter 23
Chapter Three Chapter Ten Chapter 17 Chapter 24
Chapter Four Chapter Eleven Chapter 18 Chapter 25
Chapter Five Chapter Twelve Chapter 19
Chapter Six Chapter Thirteen Chapter 20
Chapter Seven Chapter Fourteen Chapter 21
The rest of the drive was uneventful.
Dean kept expecting Sam to wake up any moment and start bitching about the lack of leg room in the back of the truck. He had to force himself not to glance behind him every minute searching for any sign that his brother was still in there.
Each and every time he couldn’t resist looking into the backseat, his heart sank with disappointment.
Sam never moved, or made a sound.
Dean looked back one more time as they approached the camp. It was still dark out, but he could see his brother’s outline. “Sam, you better get your ass up soon, or I’m going to be forced to kick it.”
Sam didn’t react.
Dean held back a sigh, and ignored the ache deep in the pit of his stomach.
The car stopped.
“We’re home.” Cas gave him a small smile.
Dean nodded “Let‘s go tell Molly she‘s got a new patient.”
****
Cas jogged over to Molly’s cabin, he’d left Dean to watch over Sam. His footsteps sounded loud in the still, dark night. The camp was sleeping with the exception of a few guards; he waved off and sent back to their posts with the promise of further explanations later.
Later he’d tell everyone what had happened, give them the ‘good news.’ Right now, he knew Dean didn’t need mob of people celebrating their victory while his brother lay comatose in their truck.
His boots clomped on the old steps that led up to Molly’s door. Her cabin was directly behind the shed they classified as the infirmary, so she could get there quickly during emergencies.
He didn’t really believe Molly could help Sam, but there was always that small chance.
Cas took a deep breath and knocked loudly on the door, after waiting about twenty seconds, he banged on it again and tried the knob. It was locked, and knowing Molly barricaded shut from inside. She’d once told him she wasn’t going to wake up one day to a snarling Croat in her face. A little bit of paranoia was a good thing in today’s world.
“Who‘s there?” said a hoarse, sleep-heavy voice.
“Molly, it’s Cas.”
“Cas,” he could hear surprise and relief in her tone.
There was a dragging sound, a lock clicking, and the door flew open.
Cas smiled despite himself at her disheveled appearance. Blonde hair sticking up all over the place, over-sized gray sweats, and a t-shirt that read: You might be a nurse if you firmly believe that ‘too stupid to live‘ should be a diagnosis.
“You’re back,” she exclaimed, throwing her arms around him in a quick hug. “Is Dean okay?” she asked while pulling back quickly, an expression of urgency on her face.
“No, it’s not Dean,” he reassured her.
“What’s going on?” she asked, looking confused.
“Molly,“ he paused, realizing how glad he was that this feisty nurse was the first person he would give this information to; after he’d broken his ankle Molly had become a friend. Cas hadn’t really let anyone in after Bizarro Dean, but Molly hadn’t cared, she’d been his friend anyway. Sitting by him daily while he‘d been confined to bed, talking to him, teasing him, never letting him wallow in his misery for too long during that three months. His throat felt tight. “We did it.”
Her eyes widened - she got it in one. “The devil, he‘s gone?”
“He’s gone.”
Tears started to fall and she didn’t try and wipe them away, she wasn’t ashamed of them.
“But Sam, Dean’s brother, - he needs your help,” Cas felt his own tear sneak out. He didn’t wipe his away either.
Molly nodded, spun, grabbed a pair of shoes, shoved them on and said, “Lead the way.”
*****
They’d moved Sam using a homemade stretcher, made out of wood and a thick, sturdy blanket Cas and Molly had retrieved from the make-shift infirmary. Cas and Dean had brought Sam’s still motionless, limp body back to the infirmary and laid him on the table.
Dean was hovering, Cas put a hand on his shoulder and quietly whispered. “Why don’t we give Molly some room?”
Dean nodded, but his eyes never left Sam as he allowed Cas to guide him backwards, against the wall.
Molly moved in, an old stethoscope around her neck, and leaned over Sam. She opened his eyes, using Dean‘s borrowed flashlight to shine a light in them. Her jaw and eyes were tight, her long blonde hair hung in a limp ponytail, the edges of her locks brushed against Sam’s face.
Cas wondered if Sam felt it tickling his skin, he wondered if Sam was feeling anything at all. The thought made him queasy, and his heart ached. Sam, you need to wake up.
Molly opened up Sam’s jacket, then lifted his shirt, her face calm, her hands steady as she put the ear buds of the stethoscope in place, then placed the diaphragm over Sam’s heart, listening. After several minutes, she moved it down to his lungs, and was still for a while.
She pulled the earpieces out, rose to full height, and grabbed a small hammer with a rubber tip off the shelf behind her. She gently hit Sam on his knees, Cas watched as each leg jerked.
She set the hammer down, and placed her hand on Sam’s forehead.
Her gaze lifted off of Sam, and met Dean’s. “Physically, your brother seems fine.”
Dean stepped forward, stopping when he reached the table.
“Mentally,” Molly sighed, “Dean I’m sorry. I don’t know.” Frustration leaked into her words as she started to pace. “If I had a damn MRI or even a CT maybe I could tell you something, but with what I’m working with…”
Her gaze went back to Sam, her eyes sad, her shoulders slumped. “He could wake up in five minutes, or,” she swallowed, hesitated a moment, but Molly wasn’t one to pull her punches, “he might never.”
Dean gripped the edges of the table, looked down at Sam, and swallowed hard.
Cas moved slowly, and quietly and came to stand next to him.
“But I wouldn’t give up on him yet,” Molly added, “If he’s even half as stubborn as his older brother, I’d say he’s got a fighting chance.”
Cas gave her a grateful smile. “She’s right, hell, he’s more stubborn than you.”
Dean raised his head and snorted, giving them both tired smiles, even though his eyes were too bright.
*****
Cas rubbed at his heavy eyes and watched the man he loved keep a constant vigil over his younger brother. They had brought Sam to their cabin and placed him on the bed Dean had once occupied. Dean had pulled a chair up near the head of the bed, sat down, and hadn’t moved.
That had been ten hours ago.
Dean’s shoulders were sagging, his head rested on the palm of his hand, the other hand kept clenching and unclenching around the blanket Sam was laying on.
Cas walked over to Dean, squeezed his shoulder. Dean glanced up at him, his eyes were bloodshot, his shirt rumpled, and his hair in disarray “No change,” Dean murmured.
Cas bent down and brushed his lips against Dean’s chapped ones. “Give him time,” he whispered, then before his eyes could do more than burn, he headed for the kitchen.
Cas walked into the kitchen, riffled through the cupboard, and pulled out a jar of honey.
He grabbed one of the few spoons they had, another chair, and hauled it all over to where Dean was sitting.
“The meeting went well,” Cas hedged, not wanting to rub salt into Dean’s wounds but knowing they needed to discuss this. Cas tapped the sides of the jar with his fingers as he waited for Dean to respond.
Dean tore his green eyes away from Sam, and gave him a weak smile. “I’ll bet.”
Cas nudged him with his elbow. He had told everyone earlier today about their victory. Anyone that wasn’t on guard duty was celebrating - meaning they were all taking turns doing shots of watered down moonshine so there would be plenty for everyone.
Cas knew Dean wasn’t in the mood to join in, frankly, neither was he. “They all wanted me to send their thanks, and well wishes for your brother.”
Dean swallowed, smacked his lips together, and whispered. “Yeah.”
Cas offered him the jar of honey, expecting a fight, but Dean only sighed, and took the jar limply. He swallowed a spoonful, and started poking at the remaining contents with the spoon.
“There’s a lot of people wanting to come by an-”
Dean’s head shot up. “My brother isn’t some freak show for them to come gawk at, Cas.”
Cas held up a hand, his expression gentle. “That’s not why they want to come, Dean. They care about you and they appreciate what you’ve done.”
Dean snorted. “Tell them to bake me a casserole.”
Cas suppressed a roll of his eyes. “I told them no Dean. I know you want to be alone right now, but don’t forget there are people who care about you. You don’t have to shoulder this burden all by yourself.” Cas rested his hand over Dean’s.
“I’m here.”
“I know that, Cas.”
“Then go get some sleep. Let me watch Sam for awhile.”
Dean shook his head. “Not yet.” He squeezed Cas’s hand. “Later.”
Cas didn’t argue, he simply nodded and joined Dean in keeping watch.
*****
It had been two days since they’d brought Sam home. No change.
Dean was still sitting in that same spot. He only got up to pee and he only ate when Cas shoved food in his face. He’d slept off and on in that chair, refusing even to go into the bedroom five feet away. His body had to be protesting, but he wouldn’t move.
Enough was enough.
Cas got Molly to back him up; he knew he’d probably need the help, and she was one of the few people Dean might trust enough to watch Sam while he dragged him from the cabin, Kicking and screaming if necessary.
“Dean.”
Dean lifted his head, eyes blinking, jaw lined with stubble.
“We’re going for a walk.”
“What?” His expression and tone were one of confusion.
“You need to get out.”
Dean shook his head. “I’m fine.”
Molly stepped forward. “No. You’re starting to grow mold. When your brother wakes up he needs you to be at your best,” she leaned closer, making sure Dean was listening, "and Dean, right now, you are not fit to take care of a rat.”
Dean started to snap something, Cas cut him off.
“Just for one hour, Dean. Come with me for one hour. Get some fresh air, clear your head, stretch your muscles, and reassure everyone I’m not keeping you tied up and shoved in a closet somewhere.”
Dean’s mouth twitched a little. “If I do this, will you both leave me the hell alone?”
“As long as you promise to bathe,” Molly waved her hand in front of her nose. “You’re getting pretty ripe, and poor Cas does not deserve to have to smell you from across the room.”
Cas chuckled, he saw Dean’s shoulders relax. He muttered something, but stood up, groaning a bit as he stretched. Cas could hear his bones popping and see that Dean had been just as stiff as he’d imagined.
Dean patted Sam’s shoulder and said, “I’ll be back soon, Sammy.”
“I’ll take good care of him, Dean. I won’t leave his side.” Molly had on her determined expression that nobody in their right mind could doubt.
“Thanks,” Dean replied, his tone civil, but Cas could tell he was fighting the impulse to sit right back down in that chair.
Cas grabbed the bag he’d prepared for this; it was full of soap, food, and a washcloth and they headed out.
******
As they stepped outside, Cas slung the backpack over his shoulder, and took Dean’s hand. He enjoyed the feel of their fingers locked together. Dean didn’t pull away, and he sensed no discomfort from him through their bond.
Cas turned his face up towards the sky, enjoying the feel of the sun on his skin.
“I want to take you to that creek I told you about awhile back.”
Dean chuckled. “Damn, I must really stink.”
Cas laughed quietly. “I didn’t want to say anything, but I’m pretty sure my nose hairs got a bit singed when I got too close to you in there.”
Dean smiled, a huge grin that lit up his weary face. “Shut up, you asshole.”
Cas steered Dean towards the back of the camp.
They received many waves from various residents of the camp they passed, and warm smiles but no one stopped them to make conversation.
Cas had asked them all to give Dean space. They were respecting that request.
As they neared the rear of the camp, the trees got denser. They weaved through them, stepping over roots and branches. The sound of water running reached Cas’s ears.
After another few feet, the creek came into view. It was about four feet wide and carved a meandering path through the woods. The fence protecting the camp was visible on the other side of the water, leaving only a meter of ground before the perimeter ended.
Dean had his eyes closed and was breathing deeply. “Cas,” Dean paused, seeming suddenly unsure of what he wanted to say. “Thanks.”
“Anytime,” he let go of Dean’s hand and set the bag on the ground. He tossed Dean the soap and the cloth, Dean grinned and nodded his thanks.
Cas watched as Dean pulled his shirt off over his head, savoring the view, and happy in the knowledge that he didn’t have to feel guilty about sneaking glances at Dean when he didn’t know he was looking.
Dean noticed him watching and gave him a smug grin before walking to the edge of the water.
Cas sat cross-legged on a soft patch of dirt, and ran his fingers through the grass, watching Dean as he settled down into a crouch. He dipped the cloth into the water and lathered it up with soap, and started with his face.
Cas knew now was not the time to be having dirty thoughts; the past few days had been hard. Dean was tired and worried to death over his brother. He’d probably want to head straight back to the cabin when he was done.
It was a miracle he’d convinced him to leave at all.
Cas told himself all of this as he sat there trying not to notice the curve of Dean’s back or his broad shoulders. The way the water ran down his spine as he scrubbed at his shoulders. Heat started to build in all the right places.
Shit. Now who’s the dog in heat?
It was impossible to watch Dean half-naked, rubbing himself down with a washcloth and not get a little turned on.
Dean turned, Cas felt the start of a blush creep into his cheeks but he met Dean’s gaze.
His expression was still worn, but he was giving Cas one of those looks that made him tingle down below. “I could use some help getting my back.”
Cas swallowed, stood, and settled down at Dean’s side, taking the cloth. He applied more soap, then gently began working off almost a weeks worth of dirt and sweat. Enjoying the closeness, the heat of Dean’s breath as he watched Cas clean him.
They hadn’t slept in the same bed for the past few nights, and their trip to Chicago hadn’t exactly left time for physical intimacy. Cas had missed this, touching Dean’s skin.
Dean surprised him by leaning against him, his head resting on Cas’s shoulder. Perhaps he had missed the closeness as well.
Cas worked the cloth down to his lower back, breathing in a very fresh smelling Dean.
He felt Dean’s rough lips, brush against his neck, feather light kisses that had a quiet moan slipping from Cas’s mouth before he could stop it.
Dean chuckled against his throat. “I love it when you make that sound,” he murmured, pulling back and cupping the back of Cas’s neck with his hand.
He stared at him for several long moments, green eyes a heart breaking mixture of sadness and joy, that had Cas’s stomach twisting.
Sam had to wake up - Dean didn’t deserve to suffer like this.
“Dean,” he whispered, trying to find the words that might offer comfort.
Dean silenced him by gently sucking on Cas’s bottom lip, then kissing him, long and deep. Cas melted into the gesture, basking in the affection and warmth he could feel from Dean.
Someone laughed off in the distance and Dean gave a contented sigh as they pulled apart, heads turning towards the sound, but Cas saw nothing but trees.
It seemed some people were still celebrating.
“I‘ve been hearing a lot more of that lately.” Dean breathed.
Cas faced him. “So have I.”
Dean’s expression went blank, his mind somewhere else, then he blinked and forced a smile.
Cas swallowed. Dean had gotten that look on his face too much lately, and Cas worried what it might mean. He feared Dean was regretting his decision not to take a chance on Lucifer’s deal. With his brother lying comatose, the past was probably starting to look real good.
Cas needed to know if Dean was happy being here with him.
He wanted to ask Dean about it, but so far he’d refrained. Dean had enough on his mind without Cas stirring the pot.
But the question refused to stop clawing at the back of his mind, and it had been getting more persistent with every minute that passed without Sam waking up.
Cas felt the words fall from his lips like water. “Do you wish you’d taken Lucifer up on his offer to send you home?” He bit his bottom lip and stopped himself from adding, Do you regret being stuck here with me?
Dean stiffened and his face became unreadable. He stared at Cas intently for several moments. Cas felt as if Dean were trying to see through his skin, it wasn’t unpleasant, just unexpected. He focused on the steady link between them that seemed to be growing stronger.
Dean was scared, and desperately worried about Sam, but there was something else underneath the surface that warmed the cold weight that had settled in Cas’s belly. The feeling was complex; it made his throat tighten and his eyes burn.
“Do you remember what you said to me about not regretting anything that had happened since I arrived?”
Cas felt his eyes widen. “Of course.”
Dean nodded, his green eyes open and honest. “Neither do I.”
Cas believed him.
He leaned in and kissed Dean on the corner of his mouth, lingering for a moment. “Let’s go check on Sam.”
****
Dean munched on the cooked rice Cas had offered for their walk back. It didn’t have much taste, but he was hungry. He hated being away from Sam’s side, but the sort of bath and fresh air had made him feel a hell of a lot better.
His head felt clearer, and his body wasn’t bitching nearly as much.
Being alone with Cas had helped as well; maybe he’d let Cas drag him outside tomorrow.
As they neared the cabin, Dean saw Chuck come out through the beads. He glared daggers at the man as he approached. The last thing he wanted was gossip about Sam spreading through the camp. He didn’t trust Chuck not to open his mouth about Sam‘s condition.
Chuck ducked his head as he noticed their approach, and looked like a kid who’d been caught with his hand in the cookie jar.
Before Dean could tear Chuck a new one, Chuck rushed into an explanation, his tone compassionate and earnest. “Molly told me no visitors - it’s not her fault.” Chuck met his eyes, “But I wanted to see him.” He took another step closer, his hands beseeching. “He’s a,” Chuck swallowed, and stood up straighter. “He’s a friend.”
Dean inhaled quietly, and nodded, his anger retreating. He suddenly felt like a dick for his over-protective streak. Chuck wouldn’t hurt Sam, and he was surprised by how much emotion and understanding was flickering in the former prophet’s eyes, Chuck seemed different; the world being kicked in the teeth had really made him grow up.
Dean was surprised he hadn’t noticed this until now.
“Thanks, Chuck.” Dean replied, and he meant it.
Chuck’s posture relaxed, as he nodded, smiled, and walked away.
“See,” Cas nudged him., “he’s not so bad.”
Dean shrugged, and neither confirmed nor denied this.
They walked another few steps when the sound of the cheap plastic beads clacking together drew their attention. Molly had burst through them, her eyes wide.
“Dean!” She hollered, frantic.
Dean’s stomach dropped, and his pulse rose as he and Cas ran for the cabin. A hundred terrible possibilities crashed into his brain, making it impossible to think about anything else.
Molly grabbed his shoulders as she met him at the bottom of the steps. “He‘s awake!”
Next Chapter
Feel free to friend this journal for the insanity :)
Comments are always loved and adored, how else will I know if anyone is still reading/enjoying this :)