Fic: Supernatural: Dean/Future Cas: The Long Road Back: (25/28)
special thank you to my beta weslyn, who as always, helped me to make this chapter as good as it can be.
Title: The Long Road Back
Author: nicole9514
Rating: R
Chapters: 25/28
Warnings: gore,language,violence, drug use, slash
Spoilers: only up to 5 X 4 (but you'll see me draw from information we found out later)
Characters/Pairings: focus on Dean/Future Cas but also Risa, Chuck, OC's, LuciferSam, and future Dean.
Disclaimer: Supernatural is not mine and I don't own anything but a few OC's and the errors.
Summary: AU 5 X 04 The End fic. In many ways this will be a fix it story (but not in all ways). Dean stops his future self from sending Cas and the others into a trap and Zachariah seems to be missing in action. Dean has to figure out where to go from here.
A/N: This fic has been consuming my brain in a good way. I really wanted to play around in this world, i love apocalyptic type settings, and i thought it would be a good way to keep myself busy during the hiatus. This story is going to have action,violence, and some death but the focus of this fic will be a slowly evolving love story in the middle of a world gone to hell between a certain hunter and a certain fallen angel. If you have a problem with that, don't read it.
Word count: 3193 (60,000 total)
Chapter One Chapter Eight Chapter 15 Chapter 22
Chapter Two Chapter Nine Chapter 16 Chapter 23
Chapter Three Chapter Ten Chapter 17 Chapter 24
Chapter Four Chapter Eleven Chapter 18
Chapter Five Chapter Twelve Chapter 19
Chapter Six Chapter Thirteen Chapter 20
Chapter Seven Chapter Fourteen Chapter 21
“Miss me?” Dean quipped, ignoring the way his heart was racing, and the trickle of sweat that was running down his back.
Lucifer took in his surroundings. Dean watched as his eyes moved every which way, searching. His gaze fell on Cas. “And you brought little Castiel along for me as well.”
Cas took it in stride, stepping forward a few steps, his face a perfect mask. “Hello Lucifer, it has been awhile.”
Lucifer’s lips twisted into a soft smile. “Too long.”
Dean wasn’t in the mood to watch Lucifer put on his little song and dance. “Why don‘t we stop wasting time and get to the point of this meeting?”
Lucifer pushed off the tree and walked forward a couple of steps, the leaves crunching under his fancy dress shoes.
That’s right you arrogant, piece of shit, come closer.
The orb stayed silent, Dean hadn’t expected it to react with the Devil a good ten feet away, but it would have been nice.
His gaze shifted to Dean, his posture indicating he had all the time in the world. “You said you were ready to make a deal.” He took another step. “I take it you have some information for me.”
Dean glanced at Cas, who’s hand was still resting on his pocket containing their surprise.
Cas nodded and faced his fellow fallen angel. “He wants to go home Lucifer, and I…” Cas ducked his head, one hand clenching into a fist, his voice rougher than normal, “I want to come home as well.” Cas lifted his chin, and met the devil’s gaze, his expression one of reverence.
Dean swallowed - and glanced at Cas out of the corner of his eye; this additional part of their moderately insane plan had been Cas’s suggestion.
Cas had been worried with how adamant Dean had been about never helping Lucifer, he wouldn’t buy Dean changing his mind on his own.
“But if I wanted to join him; if I was lonely for contact with another fallen angel, I might have persuaded you. He knows you trust me and hold me in high-esteem - it would make this more believable.”
Cas’s words echoed in Dean’s head; he hadn’t exactly been a fan of this part of the plan. It put too much of the devil’s attention on Cas, and that made him nervous.
But Cas had argued that he understood Lucifer better, and that they needed to play on his oversized ego and his insatiable desire to be understood. He thought it would keep his mind busy; if he was trying to figure out if Cas was being sincere in his admission, he might not focus on the fact that they were probably trying to screw him over.
As Dean watched Cas meekly stare at the devil, he had to admit he was impressed. He hadn’t realized how good of liar the former angel had become.
Judging by the look on Lucifer’s face, he might be considering taking Castiel’s words seriously.
Maybe this wouldn’t completely blow up in their faces.
“You wish to join me, brother?” He stepped closer, his eyes narrowed in suspicion, but his tone held a trace of hope.
“We are much alike - we both have been rejected by our brethren.” Cas ran a hand through his hair, his shoulders slumped. “I’m tired of being human.” His blue eyes were sincere, and full on intensity. “I miss being a part of the better club.”
Lucifer stepped even closer, his expression solemn.
That damn device still did nothing. You’d think the most powerful of archangels could have increased this freaking thing’s range.
“Yes, that I can understand.”
Cas had played his role brilliantly, now it was Dean’s turn.
“First things first.” Dean stepped in front of Cas. “Are you still able to send me back to my own time?”
Lucifer’s attention shifted back to him. “Of course.” He pressed his hands together, steepling them. “But only if you can help me figure out what’s preventing me from doing so.”
Dean nodded. “I’ve already brought Cas to you, that was part of your terms.”
“It was only a request,” he smiled. The devil really had the earnest, sincere act down pat. “One I’m very glad Castiel was amendable to.”
Cas smiled graciously; a gentle bow of his head.
Dean was going to have to remember never to bet against Cas in a poker game.
“What if I told you I knew what was doing it?” Dean kept his tone conversational.
Lucifer’s eyes widened slightly, and he took another step closer, then his gaze shot to Castiel. His head tilted, his brow furrowed, confusion registering briefly before he quickly plastered on a confident smile.
Dean swallowed nervously; if he even suspected what they were trying to do - Dean was pretty sure they’d be dead right now.
“I’d say that’s wonderful news - I do wish to correct the timeline.”
“And I want to get out of this nightmare,” Dean replied. “So we have a deal then, I give you the answer you’re looking for, and you send me back.”
“Agreed.”
Dean turned towards Cas, who pulled the ball out of his pocket.
The devil sucked in a breath his gaze glued to the relic, but he didn’t back away.
He didn’t seem afraid of it; he seemed eager.
Dean was sure he could sense the power coming off it - he probably wanted to try and harness if for himself. Lucifer saw himself as a god among the human cockroaches, the fact that this thing could hurt him, or that he and Cas could use it against him probably didn’t even enter his mind.
Arrogant moron.
Dean was hoping this personality trait might be their saving grace today.
“It wasn’t a someone,” Dean said, reaching out and taking the device, letting it rest on his palm. “It was a something. We found this,” Dean held it up, eye level with Lucifer, “buried in the center of the camp.”
“I sensed it.” Cas chimed in. “Just as I’m sure you are doing now.”
Lucifer nodded, his gaze still fixed to the orb.
He stepped closer.
Still nothing from that stupid device.
Dean felt his pulse quicken, his stomach was in knots.
Satan was only a few feet away now.
“It’s all yours.” Dean tossed it, hoping this wasn’t all going to be for nothing.
Lucifer caught it, his expression bordering on manic, but the second it touched his skin, Dean got the pleasure of watching the devil actually look like he was going to piss himself.
His eyes turned to molten steel and he dropped it, shaking his hands as if he’d been scalded. Hate flared over his face, his arm lashed out and Dean felt a sensation of weightlessness before he slammed into the truck. He slid down it, falling to the ground, tasting dirt.
Dean ignored the pain in his skull and back, and raised his head.
Cas must have been blasted as well, because he was struggling to his feet to Dean’s right.
Dean got to his knees, ignoring his protesting body.
Tendrils of white light were spider-webbing out of the orb, clinging to Lucifer. Dean couldn’t help but compare them to vines; white vines of bizarre energy that seemed to be sprouting from the device. They snagged on the devil’s clothing, causing the fabric to pucker in spots. It appeared as if they were trapping him, almost trying to mummify him.
Lucifer tried to grab at them, his fingers went right through, connecting with nothing but air.
His next step was retreat. Satan tried to fly away, or whatever the hell it was that angel’s actually did. He vanished, the light got brighter, and Lucifer reappeared in the same spot, stumbling a bit, unable to shed his second skin of living light.
Lucifer tried again - this time he only managed to vanish for less than a second, flickering in Dean’s vision. The light continued to snake outward, invading his personal space, increasing its hold on him, covering him.
Dean felt a warm hand on his arm, Cas hovered next to him, watching.
“It won’t let him leave - amazing,” Cas whispered, his fingers digging into Dean’s shoulder.
Dean couldn’t find words, he managed a stiff nod he wasn’t sure Cas even noticed.
Lucifer was really starting to panic now. His arms started flailing, he was backing up, his hair flying wildly as he jerked around, trying to escape.
He snarled, spittle flying from his mouth, his words came out strained, hoarse, and thin. “You think this will save your brother?” He sucked in a breath, seemed to struggle to speak, then panted, “I told you, he’s gone. Your only chance is to go back and fix your mistakes.” He jerked his body and grabbed at air again.
Dean really hated this dick, and the more he spouted off crap like that, the more Dean knew this was the only path he had left. Lucifer had already told him that this was meant to be, that it had to be Sam.
Now he was just trying to save his ass.
He swallowed, felt Cas watching him. Dean shook his head. “I’m fixing my mistakes right now,”
The devil screamed - it was pure rage. He raced forward, the light following, mirroring his every move.
Dean rose to his feet, ready to fight, one hand reflexively reaching for the colt.
There was a clicking sound, and the orb opened up, like a flower blooming. Light erupted out of it, hitting the devil in the back and freezing him in his tracks.
Lucifer hovered an inch off the ground, his arms and legs ridged.
“What have you done?” Lucifer’s hard eyes were murderous, his voice weak with pain.
“What we always do.“ Dean took his hand off the gun, stood straight, and raised his chin. “Find a way to stop assholes like you.”
Another scream of rage then light spilled out everywhere, blinding Dean.
Dean felt Cas grab his arm and pull him down. Dean didn’t resist. “Close your eyes,” Cas breathed against his ear.
Dean already had them shut, but he squeezed his eyelids more tightly.
Lucifer was still screaming, but this time it was in pain and frustration.
A wave of power passed over them, blowing dirt and leaves into Dean’s face. He dug his fingers into the grass and soil, clinging to it.
Silence.
Dean could feel or hear nothing except the sound of Cas’s heavy breathing and his own pounding heart.
He tentatively cracked one eye open. The sun had set, leaving the clearing suddenly very dark. Dean reached for his flashlight and flicked it on - Cas was lying next to him, his blue eyes wide and hopeful.
They both sat up, Dean strained his eyes and ears for any sound of movement, he shone the beam around.
“Did it work?” Dean whispered, he lowered the flashlight and saw Sam’s still form lying several feet away. He wasn’t moving.
“It definitely did something,” Cas kept his voice low and started to rise, his eyes on Sam.
Dean stood and had to fight against the impulse to race to Sam’s side. He didn’t know who was laying there - Sam or Lucy.
“Sam?” Dean managed.
No response.
“He’s breathing.” Cas whispered, taking a step closer.
“Well, either it worked or it didn’t.” Dean swallowed, unable to wait any longer and jogged over to his brother.
Cas shadowed him.
Dean bent down. Cas was right, his chest was rising and falling. Pulse was steady.
He felt Cas’s hand, heavy on his shoulder. “May I?” Cas asked.
Dean understood and nodded.
Cas knelt down next to Sam, and placed his hands on Sam’s chest, his head tilted, his eyes closed. He sat there perfectly still for ten seconds; Dean counted them. Cas’s eyes opened, and he gave Dean a tired smile. “Lucifer’s gone. You did it.”
Dean let out the breath he’d been holding and replied. “We did it.”
Dean moved up near Sam’s head, and opened one eye, using his flashlight to illuminate his brothers face. His pupils contracted. He guessed that was a good sign, but Sam still hadn’t moved.
He slapped Sam’s cheek, and called out his name a few times. Each second of silence weighing on him, pressing on his chest, making his stomach clench.
Cas hadn’t said a word during all of this. Dean looked at the former angel and whispered. “Can you tell if he’s…in there?”
Cas swallowed, his eyes too bright. He touched Dean’s hand briefly. “I’m sorry, that is not within my power.”
Dean nodded, unable to speak, he buried the grief threatening to spill over, locking it up in a cage. He’d deal with it later.
He tore his gaze away from Sam’s motionless body.
“Can you help me get him to the truck?” Dean said somehow, despite the choking lump in his throat.
Cas nodded. “Of course.“
Dean tried to smile, but his eyes were burning, and his muscles wouldn’t cooperate.
****
They’d loaded Sam into the truck, Cas watched as Dean wadded up an old blanket and put it under Sam’s head.
His heart ached to reach out, but he didn’t step any closer. Cas knew Dean needed a moment alone with this brother - a moment to collect himself.
He quietly walked off in search of the Akashic Archive. Using his flashlight, he easily found the spot it should have been resting on - instead all he found was a circle of flattened grass around where it had been sitting.
It was gone; vanished right along with Lucifer. Cas looked upward, he sighed, hoping that they were both back where they belonged. Hoping things might start to get better.
Cas glanced back towards where Dean was still tending to Sam. For the first time in years, Castiel prayed to a God that he’d thought had abandoned them to their fate.
Abandoned him.
Now, he felt that spark of faith starting to come to life inside of him, as he closed his eyes and begged his absent father to help Sam. Somehow, let him be okay.
****
Cas shifted in his seat; they’d left the mysterious home of Steven Bard an hour ago, and he’d volunteered to drive. Dean had handed over the keys without a fight, and that was more than a little worrisome. Cas had let it go for the moment, knowing Dean was trying to act as if he was okay with the fact that Sam hadn’t done more than breathe since they’d pretty much torn Lucifer out of his body.
He glanced at Dean, who was staring ahead, his back ramrod straight, his expression blank. His body language was practically screaming that he didn’t want to talk about it.
Cas clenched his teeth and tried to think about anything besides the fact that he could feel Dean’s anxiety, guilt, and pain bleeding off of him through their bond.
It didn’t work.
It had been one hell of a day, and the elephant in the room was starting to give Castiel a migraine.
He knew Dean was terrified his brother wasn’t going to wake up.
And even more afraid that if he did, he’d be a drooling mess.
Cas wished he had words of comfort to offer, Sam had been his friend as well, but in truth both of those things were very real possibilities.
“Dean,“ he tried, unable to stand the silence any longer. “Sam is no longer a prisoner. You freed him from that.”
“Sure,” his voice was hollow.
“Don’t do this.”
“Do what?” That same damn monotone voice replied.
“Act like your fine. ”
“I am fine.” Dean snapped, annoyance seeping into his tone. “I’m always fine.”
Cas knew this speech by heart.
He’d seen the pattern repeated over and over again in Bizarro Dean. He was trying to bury his pain and guilt, act like it didn’t exist. He’d swallow everything down, never facing it or dealing with it, until eventually after years of festering it became too much and it consumed him.
If Sam didn’t wake up, Dean would destroy himself.
Cas would not allow that to happen, not again.
Maybe it was time to take a hint from the Dean Winchester School of communicating.
Less talk, more action.
Cas stopped the car, got out, and yanked open Dean’s door.
Dean gaped at him. “What the fuck are you doing?”
“Get out of the car.”
“Why?” Dean growled, his shoulders tense, his green eyes a mix of anger and surprise.
Cas grabbed his shirt and pulled, Dean stumbled out. “What the hell?” he sounded more stunned than mad.
“I’m not going to let you do this.” Cas could hear his voice shake, but it still rang with determination.
“I’m not doing anything?” Dean tried to get back in the car, Cas put his arm out, blocking him. He stepped into Dean’s space, forcing him to look at him.
“This isn’t your fault. You saved him, you saved us all! Don’t you understand what happened here today?”
“I understand all right.” The hard edges of Dean’s face crumbled, his eyes overflowed with agony, his voice was desperate and hard. “I understand that my brother is fucking catatonic and that I failed to save him again.” His shoulders started to shake, and his eyes got too bright. The dam that Dean had been struggling to keep his emotions behind cracked. Cas felt it open up to him, washing in like the tide, it almost knocked the air out of him. The pain was tangible; he had to force himself not to clutch his chest.
Cas fought against the impulse to reach out, afraid any movement on his part might push Dean away, might make him retreat into his I’m fine mantra.
Dean met his eyes, his bottom lip quivering. “I’m so fucking scared, Cas.”
Cas hadn‘t expected that blatant admission.
Dean had changed.
Somewhere along the line, he‘d decided to really let him in.
It almost left Cas speechless.
“Don’t let it destroy you.” Cas said right before pulling Dean into a tight hug, as if he could hold Dean together with his arms alone. Cas knew this moment was something he was never to speak about. He also Dean knew trusted him enough to know that he wouldn’t.
Cas held him more tightly, fighting his own tears - hating that once again fate seemed to have screwed Dean over.
When Dean pulled back, he wiped at his face, and tried not to look embarrassed.
Cas ran a hand through his hair. “Well, I don’t know about you, but I’m beat. I guess kicking the devil‘s ass takes a lot out of you.” He shrugged, casually leaning against the car, hoping to take away Dean’s unease.
Dean nodded, then actually smiled. “Yeah. It sure does.”
His eyes had dried up. Cas could still feel Dean’s worry, and traces of guilt, but they weren’t the gaping wounds they had been a few minutes ago, and underneath it there was a flicker of hope.
Cas held onto that as they both got back in the car.
Next Chapter
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Title: The Long Road Back
Author: nicole9514
Rating: R
Chapters: 25/28
Warnings: gore,language,violence, drug use, slash
Spoilers: only up to 5 X 4 (but you'll see me draw from information we found out later)
Characters/Pairings: focus on Dean/Future Cas but also Risa, Chuck, OC's, LuciferSam, and future Dean.
Disclaimer: Supernatural is not mine and I don't own anything but a few OC's and the errors.
Summary: AU 5 X 04 The End fic. In many ways this will be a fix it story (but not in all ways). Dean stops his future self from sending Cas and the others into a trap and Zachariah seems to be missing in action. Dean has to figure out where to go from here.
A/N: This fic has been consuming my brain in a good way. I really wanted to play around in this world, i love apocalyptic type settings, and i thought it would be a good way to keep myself busy during the hiatus. This story is going to have action,violence, and some death but the focus of this fic will be a slowly evolving love story in the middle of a world gone to hell between a certain hunter and a certain fallen angel. If you have a problem with that, don't read it.
Word count: 3193 (60,000 total)
Chapter One Chapter Eight Chapter 15 Chapter 22
Chapter Two Chapter Nine Chapter 16 Chapter 23
Chapter Three Chapter Ten Chapter 17 Chapter 24
Chapter Four Chapter Eleven Chapter 18
Chapter Five Chapter Twelve Chapter 19
Chapter Six Chapter Thirteen Chapter 20
Chapter Seven Chapter Fourteen Chapter 21
“Miss me?” Dean quipped, ignoring the way his heart was racing, and the trickle of sweat that was running down his back.
Lucifer took in his surroundings. Dean watched as his eyes moved every which way, searching. His gaze fell on Cas. “And you brought little Castiel along for me as well.”
Cas took it in stride, stepping forward a few steps, his face a perfect mask. “Hello Lucifer, it has been awhile.”
Lucifer’s lips twisted into a soft smile. “Too long.”
Dean wasn’t in the mood to watch Lucifer put on his little song and dance. “Why don‘t we stop wasting time and get to the point of this meeting?”
Lucifer pushed off the tree and walked forward a couple of steps, the leaves crunching under his fancy dress shoes.
That’s right you arrogant, piece of shit, come closer.
The orb stayed silent, Dean hadn’t expected it to react with the Devil a good ten feet away, but it would have been nice.
His gaze shifted to Dean, his posture indicating he had all the time in the world. “You said you were ready to make a deal.” He took another step. “I take it you have some information for me.”
Dean glanced at Cas, who’s hand was still resting on his pocket containing their surprise.
Cas nodded and faced his fellow fallen angel. “He wants to go home Lucifer, and I…” Cas ducked his head, one hand clenching into a fist, his voice rougher than normal, “I want to come home as well.” Cas lifted his chin, and met the devil’s gaze, his expression one of reverence.
Dean swallowed - and glanced at Cas out of the corner of his eye; this additional part of their moderately insane plan had been Cas’s suggestion.
Cas had been worried with how adamant Dean had been about never helping Lucifer, he wouldn’t buy Dean changing his mind on his own.
“But if I wanted to join him; if I was lonely for contact with another fallen angel, I might have persuaded you. He knows you trust me and hold me in high-esteem - it would make this more believable.”
Cas’s words echoed in Dean’s head; he hadn’t exactly been a fan of this part of the plan. It put too much of the devil’s attention on Cas, and that made him nervous.
But Cas had argued that he understood Lucifer better, and that they needed to play on his oversized ego and his insatiable desire to be understood. He thought it would keep his mind busy; if he was trying to figure out if Cas was being sincere in his admission, he might not focus on the fact that they were probably trying to screw him over.
As Dean watched Cas meekly stare at the devil, he had to admit he was impressed. He hadn’t realized how good of liar the former angel had become.
Judging by the look on Lucifer’s face, he might be considering taking Castiel’s words seriously.
Maybe this wouldn’t completely blow up in their faces.
“You wish to join me, brother?” He stepped closer, his eyes narrowed in suspicion, but his tone held a trace of hope.
“We are much alike - we both have been rejected by our brethren.” Cas ran a hand through his hair, his shoulders slumped. “I’m tired of being human.” His blue eyes were sincere, and full on intensity. “I miss being a part of the better club.”
Lucifer stepped even closer, his expression solemn.
That damn device still did nothing. You’d think the most powerful of archangels could have increased this freaking thing’s range.
“Yes, that I can understand.”
Cas had played his role brilliantly, now it was Dean’s turn.
“First things first.” Dean stepped in front of Cas. “Are you still able to send me back to my own time?”
Lucifer’s attention shifted back to him. “Of course.” He pressed his hands together, steepling them. “But only if you can help me figure out what’s preventing me from doing so.”
Dean nodded. “I’ve already brought Cas to you, that was part of your terms.”
“It was only a request,” he smiled. The devil really had the earnest, sincere act down pat. “One I’m very glad Castiel was amendable to.”
Cas smiled graciously; a gentle bow of his head.
Dean was going to have to remember never to bet against Cas in a poker game.
“What if I told you I knew what was doing it?” Dean kept his tone conversational.
Lucifer’s eyes widened slightly, and he took another step closer, then his gaze shot to Castiel. His head tilted, his brow furrowed, confusion registering briefly before he quickly plastered on a confident smile.
Dean swallowed nervously; if he even suspected what they were trying to do - Dean was pretty sure they’d be dead right now.
“I’d say that’s wonderful news - I do wish to correct the timeline.”
“And I want to get out of this nightmare,” Dean replied. “So we have a deal then, I give you the answer you’re looking for, and you send me back.”
“Agreed.”
Dean turned towards Cas, who pulled the ball out of his pocket.
The devil sucked in a breath his gaze glued to the relic, but he didn’t back away.
He didn’t seem afraid of it; he seemed eager.
Dean was sure he could sense the power coming off it - he probably wanted to try and harness if for himself. Lucifer saw himself as a god among the human cockroaches, the fact that this thing could hurt him, or that he and Cas could use it against him probably didn’t even enter his mind.
Arrogant moron.
Dean was hoping this personality trait might be their saving grace today.
“It wasn’t a someone,” Dean said, reaching out and taking the device, letting it rest on his palm. “It was a something. We found this,” Dean held it up, eye level with Lucifer, “buried in the center of the camp.”
“I sensed it.” Cas chimed in. “Just as I’m sure you are doing now.”
Lucifer nodded, his gaze still fixed to the orb.
He stepped closer.
Still nothing from that stupid device.
Dean felt his pulse quicken, his stomach was in knots.
Satan was only a few feet away now.
“It’s all yours.” Dean tossed it, hoping this wasn’t all going to be for nothing.
Lucifer caught it, his expression bordering on manic, but the second it touched his skin, Dean got the pleasure of watching the devil actually look like he was going to piss himself.
His eyes turned to molten steel and he dropped it, shaking his hands as if he’d been scalded. Hate flared over his face, his arm lashed out and Dean felt a sensation of weightlessness before he slammed into the truck. He slid down it, falling to the ground, tasting dirt.
Dean ignored the pain in his skull and back, and raised his head.
Cas must have been blasted as well, because he was struggling to his feet to Dean’s right.
Dean got to his knees, ignoring his protesting body.
Tendrils of white light were spider-webbing out of the orb, clinging to Lucifer. Dean couldn’t help but compare them to vines; white vines of bizarre energy that seemed to be sprouting from the device. They snagged on the devil’s clothing, causing the fabric to pucker in spots. It appeared as if they were trapping him, almost trying to mummify him.
Lucifer tried to grab at them, his fingers went right through, connecting with nothing but air.
His next step was retreat. Satan tried to fly away, or whatever the hell it was that angel’s actually did. He vanished, the light got brighter, and Lucifer reappeared in the same spot, stumbling a bit, unable to shed his second skin of living light.
Lucifer tried again - this time he only managed to vanish for less than a second, flickering in Dean’s vision. The light continued to snake outward, invading his personal space, increasing its hold on him, covering him.
Dean felt a warm hand on his arm, Cas hovered next to him, watching.
“It won’t let him leave - amazing,” Cas whispered, his fingers digging into Dean’s shoulder.
Dean couldn’t find words, he managed a stiff nod he wasn’t sure Cas even noticed.
Lucifer was really starting to panic now. His arms started flailing, he was backing up, his hair flying wildly as he jerked around, trying to escape.
He snarled, spittle flying from his mouth, his words came out strained, hoarse, and thin. “You think this will save your brother?” He sucked in a breath, seemed to struggle to speak, then panted, “I told you, he’s gone. Your only chance is to go back and fix your mistakes.” He jerked his body and grabbed at air again.
Dean really hated this dick, and the more he spouted off crap like that, the more Dean knew this was the only path he had left. Lucifer had already told him that this was meant to be, that it had to be Sam.
Now he was just trying to save his ass.
He swallowed, felt Cas watching him. Dean shook his head. “I’m fixing my mistakes right now,”
The devil screamed - it was pure rage. He raced forward, the light following, mirroring his every move.
Dean rose to his feet, ready to fight, one hand reflexively reaching for the colt.
There was a clicking sound, and the orb opened up, like a flower blooming. Light erupted out of it, hitting the devil in the back and freezing him in his tracks.
Lucifer hovered an inch off the ground, his arms and legs ridged.
“What have you done?” Lucifer’s hard eyes were murderous, his voice weak with pain.
“What we always do.“ Dean took his hand off the gun, stood straight, and raised his chin. “Find a way to stop assholes like you.”
Another scream of rage then light spilled out everywhere, blinding Dean.
Dean felt Cas grab his arm and pull him down. Dean didn’t resist. “Close your eyes,” Cas breathed against his ear.
Dean already had them shut, but he squeezed his eyelids more tightly.
Lucifer was still screaming, but this time it was in pain and frustration.
A wave of power passed over them, blowing dirt and leaves into Dean’s face. He dug his fingers into the grass and soil, clinging to it.
Silence.
Dean could feel or hear nothing except the sound of Cas’s heavy breathing and his own pounding heart.
He tentatively cracked one eye open. The sun had set, leaving the clearing suddenly very dark. Dean reached for his flashlight and flicked it on - Cas was lying next to him, his blue eyes wide and hopeful.
They both sat up, Dean strained his eyes and ears for any sound of movement, he shone the beam around.
“Did it work?” Dean whispered, he lowered the flashlight and saw Sam’s still form lying several feet away. He wasn’t moving.
“It definitely did something,” Cas kept his voice low and started to rise, his eyes on Sam.
Dean stood and had to fight against the impulse to race to Sam’s side. He didn’t know who was laying there - Sam or Lucy.
“Sam?” Dean managed.
No response.
“He’s breathing.” Cas whispered, taking a step closer.
“Well, either it worked or it didn’t.” Dean swallowed, unable to wait any longer and jogged over to his brother.
Cas shadowed him.
Dean bent down. Cas was right, his chest was rising and falling. Pulse was steady.
He felt Cas’s hand, heavy on his shoulder. “May I?” Cas asked.
Dean understood and nodded.
Cas knelt down next to Sam, and placed his hands on Sam’s chest, his head tilted, his eyes closed. He sat there perfectly still for ten seconds; Dean counted them. Cas’s eyes opened, and he gave Dean a tired smile. “Lucifer’s gone. You did it.”
Dean let out the breath he’d been holding and replied. “We did it.”
Dean moved up near Sam’s head, and opened one eye, using his flashlight to illuminate his brothers face. His pupils contracted. He guessed that was a good sign, but Sam still hadn’t moved.
He slapped Sam’s cheek, and called out his name a few times. Each second of silence weighing on him, pressing on his chest, making his stomach clench.
Cas hadn’t said a word during all of this. Dean looked at the former angel and whispered. “Can you tell if he’s…in there?”
Cas swallowed, his eyes too bright. He touched Dean’s hand briefly. “I’m sorry, that is not within my power.”
Dean nodded, unable to speak, he buried the grief threatening to spill over, locking it up in a cage. He’d deal with it later.
He tore his gaze away from Sam’s motionless body.
“Can you help me get him to the truck?” Dean said somehow, despite the choking lump in his throat.
Cas nodded. “Of course.“
Dean tried to smile, but his eyes were burning, and his muscles wouldn’t cooperate.
****
They’d loaded Sam into the truck, Cas watched as Dean wadded up an old blanket and put it under Sam’s head.
His heart ached to reach out, but he didn’t step any closer. Cas knew Dean needed a moment alone with this brother - a moment to collect himself.
He quietly walked off in search of the Akashic Archive. Using his flashlight, he easily found the spot it should have been resting on - instead all he found was a circle of flattened grass around where it had been sitting.
It was gone; vanished right along with Lucifer. Cas looked upward, he sighed, hoping that they were both back where they belonged. Hoping things might start to get better.
Cas glanced back towards where Dean was still tending to Sam. For the first time in years, Castiel prayed to a God that he’d thought had abandoned them to their fate.
Abandoned him.
Now, he felt that spark of faith starting to come to life inside of him, as he closed his eyes and begged his absent father to help Sam. Somehow, let him be okay.
****
Cas shifted in his seat; they’d left the mysterious home of Steven Bard an hour ago, and he’d volunteered to drive. Dean had handed over the keys without a fight, and that was more than a little worrisome. Cas had let it go for the moment, knowing Dean was trying to act as if he was okay with the fact that Sam hadn’t done more than breathe since they’d pretty much torn Lucifer out of his body.
He glanced at Dean, who was staring ahead, his back ramrod straight, his expression blank. His body language was practically screaming that he didn’t want to talk about it.
Cas clenched his teeth and tried to think about anything besides the fact that he could feel Dean’s anxiety, guilt, and pain bleeding off of him through their bond.
It didn’t work.
It had been one hell of a day, and the elephant in the room was starting to give Castiel a migraine.
He knew Dean was terrified his brother wasn’t going to wake up.
And even more afraid that if he did, he’d be a drooling mess.
Cas wished he had words of comfort to offer, Sam had been his friend as well, but in truth both of those things were very real possibilities.
“Dean,“ he tried, unable to stand the silence any longer. “Sam is no longer a prisoner. You freed him from that.”
“Sure,” his voice was hollow.
“Don’t do this.”
“Do what?” That same damn monotone voice replied.
“Act like your fine. ”
“I am fine.” Dean snapped, annoyance seeping into his tone. “I’m always fine.”
Cas knew this speech by heart.
He’d seen the pattern repeated over and over again in Bizarro Dean. He was trying to bury his pain and guilt, act like it didn’t exist. He’d swallow everything down, never facing it or dealing with it, until eventually after years of festering it became too much and it consumed him.
If Sam didn’t wake up, Dean would destroy himself.
Cas would not allow that to happen, not again.
Maybe it was time to take a hint from the Dean Winchester School of communicating.
Less talk, more action.
Cas stopped the car, got out, and yanked open Dean’s door.
Dean gaped at him. “What the fuck are you doing?”
“Get out of the car.”
“Why?” Dean growled, his shoulders tense, his green eyes a mix of anger and surprise.
Cas grabbed his shirt and pulled, Dean stumbled out. “What the hell?” he sounded more stunned than mad.
“I’m not going to let you do this.” Cas could hear his voice shake, but it still rang with determination.
“I’m not doing anything?” Dean tried to get back in the car, Cas put his arm out, blocking him. He stepped into Dean’s space, forcing him to look at him.
“This isn’t your fault. You saved him, you saved us all! Don’t you understand what happened here today?”
“I understand all right.” The hard edges of Dean’s face crumbled, his eyes overflowed with agony, his voice was desperate and hard. “I understand that my brother is fucking catatonic and that I failed to save him again.” His shoulders started to shake, and his eyes got too bright. The dam that Dean had been struggling to keep his emotions behind cracked. Cas felt it open up to him, washing in like the tide, it almost knocked the air out of him. The pain was tangible; he had to force himself not to clutch his chest.
Cas fought against the impulse to reach out, afraid any movement on his part might push Dean away, might make him retreat into his I’m fine mantra.
Dean met his eyes, his bottom lip quivering. “I’m so fucking scared, Cas.”
Cas hadn‘t expected that blatant admission.
Dean had changed.
Somewhere along the line, he‘d decided to really let him in.
It almost left Cas speechless.
“Don’t let it destroy you.” Cas said right before pulling Dean into a tight hug, as if he could hold Dean together with his arms alone. Cas knew this moment was something he was never to speak about. He also Dean knew trusted him enough to know that he wouldn’t.
Cas held him more tightly, fighting his own tears - hating that once again fate seemed to have screwed Dean over.
When Dean pulled back, he wiped at his face, and tried not to look embarrassed.
Cas ran a hand through his hair. “Well, I don’t know about you, but I’m beat. I guess kicking the devil‘s ass takes a lot out of you.” He shrugged, casually leaning against the car, hoping to take away Dean’s unease.
Dean nodded, then actually smiled. “Yeah. It sure does.”
His eyes had dried up. Cas could still feel Dean’s worry, and traces of guilt, but they weren’t the gaping wounds they had been a few minutes ago, and underneath it there was a flicker of hope.
Cas held onto that as they both got back in the car.
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