Fic: Supernatural: Dean/Future Cas: The Long Road Back: (11/28)
Sorry this chapter is a bit shorter, but it just kind of happened that way.
Special thank you to weslyn For helping me a lot on understanding addiction, and for being an awesome beta.
Title: The Long Road Back
Author: Nicole
Rating: R (maybe NC-17 later to be safe)
Chapters: 11/28 (i'm still doing a lot of editing so this might change a bit)
Warnings: gore,language,violence, drug use, eventual slash
Spoilers: only up to 5 X 4 (but you'll see me draw from information we found out later)
Characters/Pairings: focus on Dean/Future Cas but also Risa, Chuck, OC's, LuciferSam, and future Dean.
Disclaimer: Supernatural is not mine and I don't own anything but the errors.
Summary: AU 5 X 04 The End fic. In many ways this will be a fix it story (but not in all ways). Dean stops his future self from sending Cas and the others into a trap and Zachariah seems to be missing in action. Dean has to figure out where to go from here.
A/N: This fic has been consuming my brain in a good way. I really wanted to play around in this world, i love apocalyptic type settings, and i thought it would be a good way to keep myself busy during the hiatus. This story is going to have action,violence, and some death but the focus of this fic will be a slowly evolving love story in the middle of a world gone to hell between a certain hunter and a certain fallen angel. If you have a problem with that, don't read it.
Word count: 1,170 (44,000 total)
Chapter One Chapter Eight
Chapter Two Chapter Nine
Chapter Three Chapter Ten
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Cas looked away from the road, and forced his fingers to relax on the steering wheel. “Are you okay?”
Dean’s face was a bit pale, but he was actually smiling. “No,” he laughed, “but we’re all alive, so that’s gotta count for something.”
“Yes. It does.” Cas pulled the car over, he saw Risa doing the same. “How’s your leg?”
“I don’t think it’s broken, but I banged my knee up pretty good, ankles a bit sore as well. I think I might have twisted it.”
“I’ll take a look at it.” Cas got out, and walked over to the passenger side. The others joined him.
Cas bent down, and gently rolled up Dean’s pant leg.
“Thanks for coming back for us.” Dean said, gritting his teeth as Cas’s fingers probed at his ankle.
“It was nothing,” Mark shrugged. “We needed your bags,” he grinned.
“I’ll bet.” Dean reached his hand out over Cas’s head and clasped both Marks, then Risa’s.
Cas smiled to himself, and tried not to enjoy the feel of Dean’s skin beneath his fingers.
“Watch it,” Dean yelped.
“Sorry.” Cas eased up. Then his fingers traveled up to rest on Dean’s already swollen knee. “Almost done.”
A few groans later, Cas stood. “I think you’ll be okay. You won’t be running anytime soon, but you’ll live.”
“Guess you’ll have to carry me,” Dean winked.
Cas felt butterflies start to fly around in his stomach. “Only if I want to pull my back out,” he teased.
“Ouch.” Dean stuck his lower lip out. Then he grinned. “Must suck to be so old and decrepit.”
“Hilarious,” Cas swatted his shoulder.
“When you two are finished,” Risa said pointedly. “Cas can join us in double checking the supplies.” Risa turned and headed towards her and Mark’s truck.
Cas swallowed.
Dean got a surprised look on his face, that seemed a bit forced, before he cleared his throat.
“I’ll just go help them.” Cas said and quickly walked away. He could feel Dean’s eyes follow him.
****
Dean leaned his seat back, and tried to get comfortable. His leg was killing him. They’d been driving for about two hours. They’d gotten a lot of what they needed, but no ammo, in fact they’d used a lot of it up. Most of the medications had made it, including some Advil which he’d taken a few of. They’d lost the bag full of toothpaste, but they’d gotten some baking soda at the grocery store. That would work just fine.
Cas had been quiet since their escape.
Dean knew his friend wasn’t feeling so hot. There was a thick layer of sweat along his hairline, and his hands still hadn’t felt very steady while he’d been examining his leg. He also knew this was all normal for someone who had become dependent on certain medications. Other than that, he seemed to be holding his own though. Angel mojo aside, Cas was one tough cookie. He was much stronger than he gave himself credit for, Dean only hoped he could make him see that.
“How are you holding up, Cas?” Dean tried.
Cas shrugged, “I’ve been better.” His lips held a ghost of smile. “But I’ve also been worse.”
Dean closed his eyes.
He had almost lost Cas back in that hell hole. When he’d seen Cas about to be overwhelmed by those creatures, it had nearly given him a heart attack. In that instant he’d realized a life without Cas in it, wasn’t one he wanted to experience. The thought was unbearable.
“You should have left me,” Dean said. A moment later, he wished he could take it back.
Cas stiffened, but didn’t respond.
Dean sat there, struggling to find something else to say.
It must have been at least five minutes later when Cas quietly replied, “Would you have left me?”
Dean shifted his good leg. “No,” he admitted.
“Why not?” his friend pressed.
“I’m an idiot,” Dean growled. “That’s why.”
“Well, then I’m an idiot, too.”
“Two peas in a pod,” Dean sighed.
Cas glanced at him. “I‘m not sure I understand that reference.”
Dean felt his face stretch into a grin. He’d missed that. “It’s an expression. Basically, means we’re a lot alike- we go well together. That type of thing.”
“Oh,” he swore he saw Cas’s cheeks redden, but it was getting dark, so he could have been mistaken. “I like that.”
Dean smiled more then reclined his seat a bit.
“Dean. Do you know the real reason you wouldn’t be able to leave me behind?“
Dean was pretty sure Cas didn’t actually want an answer, so he didn‘t give one.
“It’s because you wouldn’t be able to live with yourself if you did. It would eat you alive little by little, everyday, until one day the only way you’d be able to keep going was if you could stop feeling.” Cas paused, his chest heaved. “You wouldn‘t be able to go on knowing you‘re alive, and someone you cared about isn‘t, all because you couldn‘t save them.” Another pause, then his voice dropped to a whisper. “Or because they wouldn’t let you save them.”
Dean watched in silence as a tear trickled down Cas’s cheek.
“Bobby,” Dean whispered. Cas’s drug problem was beginning to make more and more sense.
“Yes,” he finally whispered. “Bobby.”
“Tell me what happened,” Dean urged.
Dean could see Cas reining in his emotions - drawing strength from somewhere inside himself. When he started speaking his voice was steady.
“It was roughly two years ago. About a month before Dean’s drunken visit, so we were getting along better. However, he was already well on his way to being the charming person you know and love,” Cas sighed.
“Yeah, he’s a real charmer alright.”
Cas fell silent for a few moments.
“So two years ago...,” Dean pressed. Dean knew this was something his friend needed to talk about it, no matter how much it hurt. Holding shit like that inside, it did bad things to people. He could relate.
Cas nodded while his hand started to reach for the pocket that had once held his pills. Cas seemed to realize what he was doing and his arm jerked back coming to rest on the wheel.
Dean stayed quiet.
Cas’s fingers drummed on the steering wheel as he bit nervously at his lips. When he finally found the courage to speak, he laid it all out for Dean. Every painful bit.
......coming soon-flashback time
Next Chapter
Feel free to friend this journal for updates :)
Comments are loved and adored. It's nice to know people are reading/enjoying this :)
Special thank you to weslyn For helping me a lot on understanding addiction, and for being an awesome beta.
Title: The Long Road Back
Author: Nicole
Rating: R (maybe NC-17 later to be safe)
Chapters: 11/28 (i'm still doing a lot of editing so this might change a bit)
Warnings: gore,language,violence, drug use, eventual slash
Spoilers: only up to 5 X 4 (but you'll see me draw from information we found out later)
Characters/Pairings: focus on Dean/Future Cas but also Risa, Chuck, OC's, LuciferSam, and future Dean.
Disclaimer: Supernatural is not mine and I don't own anything but the errors.
Summary: AU 5 X 04 The End fic. In many ways this will be a fix it story (but not in all ways). Dean stops his future self from sending Cas and the others into a trap and Zachariah seems to be missing in action. Dean has to figure out where to go from here.
A/N: This fic has been consuming my brain in a good way. I really wanted to play around in this world, i love apocalyptic type settings, and i thought it would be a good way to keep myself busy during the hiatus. This story is going to have action,violence, and some death but the focus of this fic will be a slowly evolving love story in the middle of a world gone to hell between a certain hunter and a certain fallen angel. If you have a problem with that, don't read it.
Word count: 1,170 (44,000 total)
Chapter One Chapter Eight
Chapter Two Chapter Nine
Chapter Three Chapter Ten
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Cas looked away from the road, and forced his fingers to relax on the steering wheel. “Are you okay?”
Dean’s face was a bit pale, but he was actually smiling. “No,” he laughed, “but we’re all alive, so that’s gotta count for something.”
“Yes. It does.” Cas pulled the car over, he saw Risa doing the same. “How’s your leg?”
“I don’t think it’s broken, but I banged my knee up pretty good, ankles a bit sore as well. I think I might have twisted it.”
“I’ll take a look at it.” Cas got out, and walked over to the passenger side. The others joined him.
Cas bent down, and gently rolled up Dean’s pant leg.
“Thanks for coming back for us.” Dean said, gritting his teeth as Cas’s fingers probed at his ankle.
“It was nothing,” Mark shrugged. “We needed your bags,” he grinned.
“I’ll bet.” Dean reached his hand out over Cas’s head and clasped both Marks, then Risa’s.
Cas smiled to himself, and tried not to enjoy the feel of Dean’s skin beneath his fingers.
“Watch it,” Dean yelped.
“Sorry.” Cas eased up. Then his fingers traveled up to rest on Dean’s already swollen knee. “Almost done.”
A few groans later, Cas stood. “I think you’ll be okay. You won’t be running anytime soon, but you’ll live.”
“Guess you’ll have to carry me,” Dean winked.
Cas felt butterflies start to fly around in his stomach. “Only if I want to pull my back out,” he teased.
“Ouch.” Dean stuck his lower lip out. Then he grinned. “Must suck to be so old and decrepit.”
“Hilarious,” Cas swatted his shoulder.
“When you two are finished,” Risa said pointedly. “Cas can join us in double checking the supplies.” Risa turned and headed towards her and Mark’s truck.
Cas swallowed.
Dean got a surprised look on his face, that seemed a bit forced, before he cleared his throat.
“I’ll just go help them.” Cas said and quickly walked away. He could feel Dean’s eyes follow him.
****
Dean leaned his seat back, and tried to get comfortable. His leg was killing him. They’d been driving for about two hours. They’d gotten a lot of what they needed, but no ammo, in fact they’d used a lot of it up. Most of the medications had made it, including some Advil which he’d taken a few of. They’d lost the bag full of toothpaste, but they’d gotten some baking soda at the grocery store. That would work just fine.
Cas had been quiet since their escape.
Dean knew his friend wasn’t feeling so hot. There was a thick layer of sweat along his hairline, and his hands still hadn’t felt very steady while he’d been examining his leg. He also knew this was all normal for someone who had become dependent on certain medications. Other than that, he seemed to be holding his own though. Angel mojo aside, Cas was one tough cookie. He was much stronger than he gave himself credit for, Dean only hoped he could make him see that.
“How are you holding up, Cas?” Dean tried.
Cas shrugged, “I’ve been better.” His lips held a ghost of smile. “But I’ve also been worse.”
Dean closed his eyes.
He had almost lost Cas back in that hell hole. When he’d seen Cas about to be overwhelmed by those creatures, it had nearly given him a heart attack. In that instant he’d realized a life without Cas in it, wasn’t one he wanted to experience. The thought was unbearable.
“You should have left me,” Dean said. A moment later, he wished he could take it back.
Cas stiffened, but didn’t respond.
Dean sat there, struggling to find something else to say.
It must have been at least five minutes later when Cas quietly replied, “Would you have left me?”
Dean shifted his good leg. “No,” he admitted.
“Why not?” his friend pressed.
“I’m an idiot,” Dean growled. “That’s why.”
“Well, then I’m an idiot, too.”
“Two peas in a pod,” Dean sighed.
Cas glanced at him. “I‘m not sure I understand that reference.”
Dean felt his face stretch into a grin. He’d missed that. “It’s an expression. Basically, means we’re a lot alike- we go well together. That type of thing.”
“Oh,” he swore he saw Cas’s cheeks redden, but it was getting dark, so he could have been mistaken. “I like that.”
Dean smiled more then reclined his seat a bit.
“Dean. Do you know the real reason you wouldn’t be able to leave me behind?“
Dean was pretty sure Cas didn’t actually want an answer, so he didn‘t give one.
“It’s because you wouldn’t be able to live with yourself if you did. It would eat you alive little by little, everyday, until one day the only way you’d be able to keep going was if you could stop feeling.” Cas paused, his chest heaved. “You wouldn‘t be able to go on knowing you‘re alive, and someone you cared about isn‘t, all because you couldn‘t save them.” Another pause, then his voice dropped to a whisper. “Or because they wouldn’t let you save them.”
Dean watched in silence as a tear trickled down Cas’s cheek.
“Bobby,” Dean whispered. Cas’s drug problem was beginning to make more and more sense.
“Yes,” he finally whispered. “Bobby.”
“Tell me what happened,” Dean urged.
Dean could see Cas reining in his emotions - drawing strength from somewhere inside himself. When he started speaking his voice was steady.
“It was roughly two years ago. About a month before Dean’s drunken visit, so we were getting along better. However, he was already well on his way to being the charming person you know and love,” Cas sighed.
“Yeah, he’s a real charmer alright.”
Cas fell silent for a few moments.
“So two years ago...,” Dean pressed. Dean knew this was something his friend needed to talk about it, no matter how much it hurt. Holding shit like that inside, it did bad things to people. He could relate.
Cas nodded while his hand started to reach for the pocket that had once held his pills. Cas seemed to realize what he was doing and his arm jerked back coming to rest on the wheel.
Dean stayed quiet.
Cas’s fingers drummed on the steering wheel as he bit nervously at his lips. When he finally found the courage to speak, he laid it all out for Dean. Every painful bit.
......coming soon-flashback time
Next Chapter
Feel free to friend this journal for updates :)
Comments are loved and adored. It's nice to know people are reading/enjoying this :)