Fic: Supernatural: Dean/Castiel: "Family Doesn't Give Up" (5/6)
Here's the next chapter guys, I hope you all enjoy it :)
Title: Family Doesn’t Give Up
Author: Nicole
Chapter: 5/6
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Language
Spoilers: 6 X 22
Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural or its characters. I'm just playing with them a bit.
Genre: Friendship/Angst/hurt/comfort (can be seen as preslash)
Characters: Dean Winchester, Castiel, (some Sam and Bobby)
A/N: This fic is unbetaed, so any errors are mine, if anyone would like to take on the job let me know.
Summary: Post season 6 finale. Dean is determined to save Castiel. No matter what it takes.
Word Count: 1,548
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Dean opened his eyes, then closed them again. His head felt like someone had used it as a punching bag. Knowing his lifestyle, maybe they had. Then he remembered the light, and the wind. He forced himself to sit up slowly, and blinked until his eyes adjusted. The room was dimly lit by the sun that had apparently risen while he’d been out.
He looked around, both Sam and Bobby were still passed out, he could see their chests rising and falling. He crawled over to Bobby first, found a steady pulse, then went to Sam. They both appeared to be okay.
Then he forced himself to turn towards the center of the room.
Still inside the circle, curled up into a ball, lying on his side was Castiel. Dean wanted to run over to him, hug him, slap him, tell him how stupid he‘d been, tell him how glad he was that he was okay. But Dean was a hunter, he knew better. He didn’t know if that was really Cas, or if it was still soul crazy Castiel just waiting for him to cross that line.
“Cas?” Dean’s voice came out gravely and hoarse. “Talk to me man. Is that you?” When he got no response he stood up and managed to walk over to the edge of the line. He knelt down. Cas’s face was buried in his hands. He was trembling. No he was shaking, bad.
“Cas.” He tried again. “I’m here.”
The shaking slowed a little. There was the sound of ragged breathing, a weak cough. “Dean.” It was so soft he almost missed it. It was more of a whimper.
“Look at me, Cas. I need you to look at me.”
He watched as the angel’s hands slipped from his face. His eyes were so familiar it hurt. It wasn‘t a stranger looking at him anymore. It was a member of his family, back from near death. A very broken member. Dean didn’t like what he saw in those blue orbs. Pain, fear, regret, self hatred. He didn’t just see it, he felt it coming off Cas.
Dean was moving before he realized it. There was no doubt in his mind that the souls were gone. Sent back to purgatory or wherever that spell had sent them. That terrible energy they emitted was gone. All that was left was his friend. Broken and battered, lying on the floor, alone. And probably feeling like shit.
He knelt down in front of Cas, who was now staring at the floor. He tentatively touched his forehead, it was on fire. “You’re burning up, Cas.”
When the only answer was silence, Dean sat down next to him and pulled the angel onto his lap. He cradled Cas’s limp form in his arms and whispered. “It’s gonna be okay. We are going to get through this.”
There was a barely audible sob, and Castiel began to tremble again. It took Dean a few seconds to realize that he was crying.
Shit. He hadn’t even known angels could cry. This wasn’t something he did. Sammy was much better at handling things that involved tears. Dean didn’t know what to say, so he didn’t say anything. He just pulled him more tightly against his chest and held on for all he was worth.
****
The pain had been unbearable. Yet he’d survived. He was exhausted, and burned out. His grace felt fractured, there was this constant ache in his chest that kept nagging at him to remember what was going on.
When he’d first awoken on the floor of the strange building, his memories had been fuzzy at best. He remembered calling someone an assbutt. He remembered eating too many hamburgers. He even had a memory of going to a den of inequity, yet for some reason that memory made him want to smile. Something about someone named Dean, and laughter.
Dean.
Dean Winchester.
He remembered Dean telling him he was bringing him home.
Then the floodgates opened, and with the memories came the paralyzing pain of the last few months. All that he’d done. All that he’d said. How he’d refused to relinquish the souls, he’d let the power infect him. He’d let it control him.
He’d abandoned the only people who’d ever been there for him. He’d failed them.
He didn’t deserve to be alive.
He buried his face in his hands and felt his body constrict in on itself. Castiel wasn’t really sure how long he’d laid there curled in a ball, just hoping for the ground to swallow him whole when he’d heard Dean’s voice. It made him feel so much at once he couldn’t speak. He didn’t know what to say. He knew Dean must hate him for what he’d done. He’d be right to.
“Cas. I’m here.”
Cas took a deep breath and felt himself calm down a bit. Dean didn’t sound angry, he sounded like he still cared. He felt the pain in his chest lessen ever so slightly, but the guilt didn’t fade in the slightest. Dean wanted him to look at him. He knew why. He needed to know if he was himself again.
He forced himself to meet Dean’s eyes, and the pain nearly overtook him. He didn’t believe he deserved to be looked at with such kind eyes. He didn’t deserve to be loved. Not anymore. He’d wanted to be loved so much, he’d nearly destroyed everything that mattered to him. He couldn’t continue to meet Dean’s eyes, he focused on the dirty floor.
When Dean touched his forehead, something strange happened. Castiel’s eyes began to burn, there was an odd ache in his throat. He didn’t understand it. Then he was in Dean’s lap.
“It’s gonna be okay. We are going to get through this.” Dean told him.
The word we broke through the very thin wall he’d put around his reeling emotions. Despite all he’d done, Dean wasn’t going to abandon him. The pain in his chest became too much, liquid began to leak from his eyes. It took Cas a few moments to realize he was crying. He’d never done it before. He’d witnessed others do it, but only now did he understand what it truly meant to be break inside.
He felt his surrogate brother’s arms tighten around him. His only family, the only true family he’d ever had. There was acceptance, forgiveness, and maybe even love flowing into him. He could feel all of this through their bond, which miraculously was still there. Untainted.
Castiel allowed himself to be held. He allowed himself to forget for just a moment that he didn’t deserve this.
“Cas.” Dean’s voice was only a whisper. “How you doing?”
Castiel tried to laugh, but it came out more of a cough. “I’ve spent the last three months pretending to be God. I’ve betrayed you, Sam, Bobby, and my Father. I killed a fellow angel who was only trying to protect me from my own pride.” He paused for a moment trying to keep his voice steady. “I didn’t deserve to be saved, Dean. You should have killed me.”
He felt Dean go completely still. After a moment he slid out from behind him and made Castiel face him. “I want you to listen very carefully to what I‘m about to say. Don’t you ever say anything like that to me again. You are family, Cas. There isn’t one of us that hasn’t done something incredible stupid at least once. Make a deal with a demon. Check. We’ve all done that. Make bad decisions because we think it’s the only way to save each other. Check. We’ve done that to. You’re a Winchester. Just deal with it.”
Cas sucked in a breath, he didn’t know what to say. He still felt guilty. He was still hurting. But it wasn’t quite so bad anymore. It was almost bearable.
Dean reached out and squeezed his shoulder. “Besides, didn’t you already give me shit for thinking I wasn’t worth being saved. Nobody likes a hypocrite, Cas.” Dean smiled at him playfully.
“Thank you.” Was all the angel could manage.
Dean tousled his hair and slapped him on the back. “No big deal. That’s what families do for each other.”
Dean stood and offered his hand. Cas took it. They both faced each other, hands locked. Cas licked his dry lips and whispered. “I am so sorry, Dean.”
“I know. Me too. You aren’t the only one who made mistakes.”
“You didn’t do anyth-”
“Yes I did. We have a lot to talk about, but for now we better go check on Sam and Bobby.”
Cas nodded. “Yes, of course.”
Dean arched an eyebrow. “You gonna be okay if I let you go?”
“I think I can manage.”
But Dean didn’t let go. Instead he pulled him into a tight embrace. It was different than being hugged by a cherub. It was pleasant. It was welcomed. Cas returned the gesture.
After several moments, Dean released his grip, and started towards Sam. He stopped halfway there, turned around and smiled. “It’s good to have you back, Cas.”
Despite the pain and regret that was still rippling through him Castiel felt a small smile tug at the corners of his mouth. “It’s good to be back.”
Next Chapter
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Title: Family Doesn’t Give Up
Author: Nicole
Chapter: 5/6
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Language
Spoilers: 6 X 22
Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural or its characters. I'm just playing with them a bit.
Genre: Friendship/Angst/hurt/comfort (can be seen as preslash)
Characters: Dean Winchester, Castiel, (some Sam and Bobby)
A/N: This fic is unbetaed, so any errors are mine, if anyone would like to take on the job let me know.
Summary: Post season 6 finale. Dean is determined to save Castiel. No matter what it takes.
Word Count: 1,548
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Dean opened his eyes, then closed them again. His head felt like someone had used it as a punching bag. Knowing his lifestyle, maybe they had. Then he remembered the light, and the wind. He forced himself to sit up slowly, and blinked until his eyes adjusted. The room was dimly lit by the sun that had apparently risen while he’d been out.
He looked around, both Sam and Bobby were still passed out, he could see their chests rising and falling. He crawled over to Bobby first, found a steady pulse, then went to Sam. They both appeared to be okay.
Then he forced himself to turn towards the center of the room.
Still inside the circle, curled up into a ball, lying on his side was Castiel. Dean wanted to run over to him, hug him, slap him, tell him how stupid he‘d been, tell him how glad he was that he was okay. But Dean was a hunter, he knew better. He didn’t know if that was really Cas, or if it was still soul crazy Castiel just waiting for him to cross that line.
“Cas?” Dean’s voice came out gravely and hoarse. “Talk to me man. Is that you?” When he got no response he stood up and managed to walk over to the edge of the line. He knelt down. Cas’s face was buried in his hands. He was trembling. No he was shaking, bad.
“Cas.” He tried again. “I’m here.”
The shaking slowed a little. There was the sound of ragged breathing, a weak cough. “Dean.” It was so soft he almost missed it. It was more of a whimper.
“Look at me, Cas. I need you to look at me.”
He watched as the angel’s hands slipped from his face. His eyes were so familiar it hurt. It wasn‘t a stranger looking at him anymore. It was a member of his family, back from near death. A very broken member. Dean didn’t like what he saw in those blue orbs. Pain, fear, regret, self hatred. He didn’t just see it, he felt it coming off Cas.
Dean was moving before he realized it. There was no doubt in his mind that the souls were gone. Sent back to purgatory or wherever that spell had sent them. That terrible energy they emitted was gone. All that was left was his friend. Broken and battered, lying on the floor, alone. And probably feeling like shit.
He knelt down in front of Cas, who was now staring at the floor. He tentatively touched his forehead, it was on fire. “You’re burning up, Cas.”
When the only answer was silence, Dean sat down next to him and pulled the angel onto his lap. He cradled Cas’s limp form in his arms and whispered. “It’s gonna be okay. We are going to get through this.”
There was a barely audible sob, and Castiel began to tremble again. It took Dean a few seconds to realize that he was crying.
Shit. He hadn’t even known angels could cry. This wasn’t something he did. Sammy was much better at handling things that involved tears. Dean didn’t know what to say, so he didn’t say anything. He just pulled him more tightly against his chest and held on for all he was worth.
****
The pain had been unbearable. Yet he’d survived. He was exhausted, and burned out. His grace felt fractured, there was this constant ache in his chest that kept nagging at him to remember what was going on.
When he’d first awoken on the floor of the strange building, his memories had been fuzzy at best. He remembered calling someone an assbutt. He remembered eating too many hamburgers. He even had a memory of going to a den of inequity, yet for some reason that memory made him want to smile. Something about someone named Dean, and laughter.
Dean.
Dean Winchester.
He remembered Dean telling him he was bringing him home.
Then the floodgates opened, and with the memories came the paralyzing pain of the last few months. All that he’d done. All that he’d said. How he’d refused to relinquish the souls, he’d let the power infect him. He’d let it control him.
He’d abandoned the only people who’d ever been there for him. He’d failed them.
He didn’t deserve to be alive.
He buried his face in his hands and felt his body constrict in on itself. Castiel wasn’t really sure how long he’d laid there curled in a ball, just hoping for the ground to swallow him whole when he’d heard Dean’s voice. It made him feel so much at once he couldn’t speak. He didn’t know what to say. He knew Dean must hate him for what he’d done. He’d be right to.
“Cas. I’m here.”
Cas took a deep breath and felt himself calm down a bit. Dean didn’t sound angry, he sounded like he still cared. He felt the pain in his chest lessen ever so slightly, but the guilt didn’t fade in the slightest. Dean wanted him to look at him. He knew why. He needed to know if he was himself again.
He forced himself to meet Dean’s eyes, and the pain nearly overtook him. He didn’t believe he deserved to be looked at with such kind eyes. He didn’t deserve to be loved. Not anymore. He’d wanted to be loved so much, he’d nearly destroyed everything that mattered to him. He couldn’t continue to meet Dean’s eyes, he focused on the dirty floor.
When Dean touched his forehead, something strange happened. Castiel’s eyes began to burn, there was an odd ache in his throat. He didn’t understand it. Then he was in Dean’s lap.
“It’s gonna be okay. We are going to get through this.” Dean told him.
The word we broke through the very thin wall he’d put around his reeling emotions. Despite all he’d done, Dean wasn’t going to abandon him. The pain in his chest became too much, liquid began to leak from his eyes. It took Cas a few moments to realize he was crying. He’d never done it before. He’d witnessed others do it, but only now did he understand what it truly meant to be break inside.
He felt his surrogate brother’s arms tighten around him. His only family, the only true family he’d ever had. There was acceptance, forgiveness, and maybe even love flowing into him. He could feel all of this through their bond, which miraculously was still there. Untainted.
Castiel allowed himself to be held. He allowed himself to forget for just a moment that he didn’t deserve this.
“Cas.” Dean’s voice was only a whisper. “How you doing?”
Castiel tried to laugh, but it came out more of a cough. “I’ve spent the last three months pretending to be God. I’ve betrayed you, Sam, Bobby, and my Father. I killed a fellow angel who was only trying to protect me from my own pride.” He paused for a moment trying to keep his voice steady. “I didn’t deserve to be saved, Dean. You should have killed me.”
He felt Dean go completely still. After a moment he slid out from behind him and made Castiel face him. “I want you to listen very carefully to what I‘m about to say. Don’t you ever say anything like that to me again. You are family, Cas. There isn’t one of us that hasn’t done something incredible stupid at least once. Make a deal with a demon. Check. We’ve all done that. Make bad decisions because we think it’s the only way to save each other. Check. We’ve done that to. You’re a Winchester. Just deal with it.”
Cas sucked in a breath, he didn’t know what to say. He still felt guilty. He was still hurting. But it wasn’t quite so bad anymore. It was almost bearable.
Dean reached out and squeezed his shoulder. “Besides, didn’t you already give me shit for thinking I wasn’t worth being saved. Nobody likes a hypocrite, Cas.” Dean smiled at him playfully.
“Thank you.” Was all the angel could manage.
Dean tousled his hair and slapped him on the back. “No big deal. That’s what families do for each other.”
Dean stood and offered his hand. Cas took it. They both faced each other, hands locked. Cas licked his dry lips and whispered. “I am so sorry, Dean.”
“I know. Me too. You aren’t the only one who made mistakes.”
“You didn’t do anyth-”
“Yes I did. We have a lot to talk about, but for now we better go check on Sam and Bobby.”
Cas nodded. “Yes, of course.”
Dean arched an eyebrow. “You gonna be okay if I let you go?”
“I think I can manage.”
But Dean didn’t let go. Instead he pulled him into a tight embrace. It was different than being hugged by a cherub. It was pleasant. It was welcomed. Cas returned the gesture.
After several moments, Dean released his grip, and started towards Sam. He stopped halfway there, turned around and smiled. “It’s good to have you back, Cas.”
Despite the pain and regret that was still rippling through him Castiel felt a small smile tug at the corners of his mouth. “It’s good to be back.”
Next Chapter
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