Fic: Supernatural: Jedi!Verse: Dean/Castiel: [R] - If At First You Don't Succeed
Title: If At First You Don't Succeed
Author: nicole9514
Rating: R
Genre: AU, Fusion w/Star Wars, slash, action, romance
Pairing: Dean/Castiel
Warnings: language
Spoilers: None
A/N: This fic takes place in my Jedi!verse series of fics.
Summary: Dean gives talking to Sam another shot.
Word Count: 1,304
New to the series; here's a Link to the Masterpost
Dean watched Sam and Jessica enter, and his heart jumped in an unpleasant way, that had him wanting to run for the hills.
But he held his ground, not quite meeting Sam’s eyes as the door closed behind them.
Cas and Jess exchanged pointed glances, and she cleared her throat, elbowing Sam in the ribs.
Sam grumbled something, then sighed, and Dean forced himself to meet the younger mans stare.
Sam’s expression was closed off, and his eyes were tight.
Cas, the angel he was said, gently. “I’m glad you came Sam.”
Sam blinked, and his gaze shifted to Cas, who was giving him a look that would make the toughest mercenary melt.
Dean saw Sam’s posture soften a bit, and he exhaled. “Yeah, well, it was Jess’s idea.”
Cas smiled. “She’s very wise.”
Jess grinned, and Dean felt some of the tension ease in the room.
Dean stepped closer, coming to stand next to Cas, grateful for his presence. It somehow, made this bearable.
Sam’s eyes darted to Dean’s face, and Dean saw another shimmer of shame, as he noticed the bruise.
“Sam,” Dean kept his tone calm, ignoring the fear, doubt, and hint of anger still present. It didn’t control him. He drew strength from his and Cas‘s conversation, and took a chance. “I know I suck at this, but if you just give me a few minutes to explain, you might feel differently.”
Sam swallowed, hard, and brushed at an imaginary piece of dirt on his shirt . “Yeah, okay.”
He could feel Cas’s pride, and his lover’s hand touched his lower back, his thumb caressing.
Dean moved to the bed, and gestured for Sam to have seat.
They both sat down on the edge.
Dean rubbed his palms on his pants, and prayed he did better this time. He felt better, more in control, he wasn’t sure if that was because of Cas‘s pep -talk, or because he didn’t think things could go much worse than his first attempt.
Whatever it was, it made this easier.
“We’ll give you two some privacy,” Cas said, as he and Jess moved towards the door.
Dean nodded, and gave them both a tight smile. He knew they wouldn’t go far.
He turned his attention back to Sam, who was watching him, his brown eyes uncertain.
“Sam, I wasn’t lying to you. I ‘d never joke about something like this.” He paused, and let that sink in, hoping one day Sam Wesson would never think so little of him again.
Sam simply nodded, his expression still uncertain, but at least he wasn’t openly hostile.
And now for the moment of truth.
Dean told Sam about the healing, what Cas had felt, and he waited, hoping this time Sam wasn’t going to walk out on him.
Sam’s eyes were wide, he bit his bottom lip, and ran his hands over his face.
When he looked back up, the look on Sam’s face gave him a flicker of hope that began to burn in his chest.
“Damn,” the younger man breathed, and his eyes roamed over Dean’s face, studying him intently.
“Cas says we have the same smile,” Dean found himself adding, and he hated how much he wanted Sam to believe him.
Sam almost smiled, and then he inhaled sharply. “I’m sorry, this is, a lot.”
“Yeah, tell me about it.”
Sam stared at his hands.
“I gotta tell you though man, you have mean right hook.” Dean managed to smile.
Sam actually chuckled, then his face darkened as he looked back up. “I shouldn’t have…I may have overreacted.”
Dean snorted. “Ya think,” he blurted.
Sam tried to glare at him, but his heart clearly wasn’t in it.
“Look Sam, like I said, this isn’t set in stone. Cas can’t be sure.”
Sam met his eyes. “But you believe it,” Sam breathed, he suddenly seemed younger than his years, and smaller.
“Yeah. Yeah I do.”
Sam looked away abruptly, his long hair hiding his face.
“If you don’t want this, I get it,” Dean managed to keep his voice calm. “Things are crazy enough as it is, I just wanted… I thought you deserved to know. “
Sam didn’t move, the sound of the two of them breathing filled the small space.
After several minutes Sam turned his head back to Dean.
His eyes were shimmering with unshed tears, his emotions showed brightly through them. He inhaled shakily. “Is that what you want? To just act like we never had this conversation?”
Dean didn’t think, he didn’t have to. This annoying, freakishly tall, bitch was his little brother. And he knew it on an instinctual level. He wasn’t sure what this meant, or how, or if it would change things, but he sure as hell didn’t want to pretend that nothing had changed.
“No, that’s not what I want.”
Sam face softened, and Dean saw a glimpse of the child Sam had once been shining out. “I don’t want that either.”
Dean inhaled, not sure where to go from here. He was way out of his depth, and Sam was sitting there, waiting for him to do something.
“So is this the part where we braid each other’s hair, and cry over a bowl of ice cream?”
Sam blinked, then his lips twitched, and he laughed.
Dean started laughing right along with him, and they probably looked like two crazy people, but it felt good.
“Fuck you,” Sam sputtered.
“Yeah, right back at you.”
Sam shook his head, and ran his hand through his hair, then his expression became serious again. “I really am sorry, I just…”
Dean reached out, resting his hand on Sam’s shoulder. “It’s okay man. I’m not one to be throwing stones.”
“Thanks.”
Dean let his hand fall away.
“I’m glad you told me - I just wish,” his voice almost broke, and Dean watched him steel himself. His eyes were dry, his voice calm as he said, “I just wish my mom could be here, this would have meant everything to her.”
That caught Dean off guard, and his stomach churned.
Sam was watching him. “She would have liked you.”
It was a weird feeling, to feel sorrow over the loss of someone you’d never met. “Thanks,” Dean murmured.
Sam exhaled. “Well, I guess, we take this one day at a time?”
Dean nodded , and rose, offering Sam his hand. “You want to find our better halves and let them know we haven’t killed each other yet.”
Sam smiled, and let Dean help him up.
Dean moved toward the door.
‘Dean,” Sam said softly,
Dean paused and turned.
“If you want, me and Jess would love to have you and Cas over for breakfast tomorrow. We could…talk some more.”
Dean saw the same fear he’d seen in the mirror in Sam’s posture, and expression.
“I’d like that.”
Sam smiled, relief evident in his brown eyes. And Dean was once again struck by how young he looked. “Okay.”
*****
Dean laid down in the bed, emotionally, and physically drained. The warmth of Cas’s body pressed into his side, and he relished in it.
Today had been rough - but in the end - good.
He wasn’t sure what would come of him and Sam being brothers - but if at the very least they could be friends, he’d consider it a victory.
He looked at Cas, who was watching him with affectionate eyes, and he smiled.
Cas smiled back.
Dean leaned in, and kissed his lover’s chapped lips, savoring the moment. Knowing that despite the threat looming over their head he was damn lucky to have moments like this.
The road might be icy, but with Cas helping him navigate the terrain he was pretty damn sure he and Sam could make this work.
A/N: I'm doing my best to update more often guys, so far so good, thanks for sticking with me :)
Feel free to friend this journal for the insanity :)
As always, I love comments - each one makes me smile.
Author: nicole9514
Rating: R
Genre: AU, Fusion w/Star Wars, slash, action, romance
Pairing: Dean/Castiel
Warnings: language
Spoilers: None
A/N: This fic takes place in my Jedi!verse series of fics.
Summary: Dean gives talking to Sam another shot.
Word Count: 1,304
New to the series; here's a Link to the Masterpost
Dean watched Sam and Jessica enter, and his heart jumped in an unpleasant way, that had him wanting to run for the hills.
But he held his ground, not quite meeting Sam’s eyes as the door closed behind them.
Cas and Jess exchanged pointed glances, and she cleared her throat, elbowing Sam in the ribs.
Sam grumbled something, then sighed, and Dean forced himself to meet the younger mans stare.
Sam’s expression was closed off, and his eyes were tight.
Cas, the angel he was said, gently. “I’m glad you came Sam.”
Sam blinked, and his gaze shifted to Cas, who was giving him a look that would make the toughest mercenary melt.
Dean saw Sam’s posture soften a bit, and he exhaled. “Yeah, well, it was Jess’s idea.”
Cas smiled. “She’s very wise.”
Jess grinned, and Dean felt some of the tension ease in the room.
Dean stepped closer, coming to stand next to Cas, grateful for his presence. It somehow, made this bearable.
Sam’s eyes darted to Dean’s face, and Dean saw another shimmer of shame, as he noticed the bruise.
“Sam,” Dean kept his tone calm, ignoring the fear, doubt, and hint of anger still present. It didn’t control him. He drew strength from his and Cas‘s conversation, and took a chance. “I know I suck at this, but if you just give me a few minutes to explain, you might feel differently.”
Sam swallowed, hard, and brushed at an imaginary piece of dirt on his shirt . “Yeah, okay.”
He could feel Cas’s pride, and his lover’s hand touched his lower back, his thumb caressing.
Dean moved to the bed, and gestured for Sam to have seat.
They both sat down on the edge.
Dean rubbed his palms on his pants, and prayed he did better this time. He felt better, more in control, he wasn’t sure if that was because of Cas‘s pep -talk, or because he didn’t think things could go much worse than his first attempt.
Whatever it was, it made this easier.
“We’ll give you two some privacy,” Cas said, as he and Jess moved towards the door.
Dean nodded, and gave them both a tight smile. He knew they wouldn’t go far.
He turned his attention back to Sam, who was watching him, his brown eyes uncertain.
“Sam, I wasn’t lying to you. I ‘d never joke about something like this.” He paused, and let that sink in, hoping one day Sam Wesson would never think so little of him again.
Sam simply nodded, his expression still uncertain, but at least he wasn’t openly hostile.
And now for the moment of truth.
Dean told Sam about the healing, what Cas had felt, and he waited, hoping this time Sam wasn’t going to walk out on him.
Sam’s eyes were wide, he bit his bottom lip, and ran his hands over his face.
When he looked back up, the look on Sam’s face gave him a flicker of hope that began to burn in his chest.
“Damn,” the younger man breathed, and his eyes roamed over Dean’s face, studying him intently.
“Cas says we have the same smile,” Dean found himself adding, and he hated how much he wanted Sam to believe him.
Sam almost smiled, and then he inhaled sharply. “I’m sorry, this is, a lot.”
“Yeah, tell me about it.”
Sam stared at his hands.
“I gotta tell you though man, you have mean right hook.” Dean managed to smile.
Sam actually chuckled, then his face darkened as he looked back up. “I shouldn’t have…I may have overreacted.”
Dean snorted. “Ya think,” he blurted.
Sam tried to glare at him, but his heart clearly wasn’t in it.
“Look Sam, like I said, this isn’t set in stone. Cas can’t be sure.”
Sam met his eyes. “But you believe it,” Sam breathed, he suddenly seemed younger than his years, and smaller.
“Yeah. Yeah I do.”
Sam looked away abruptly, his long hair hiding his face.
“If you don’t want this, I get it,” Dean managed to keep his voice calm. “Things are crazy enough as it is, I just wanted… I thought you deserved to know. “
Sam didn’t move, the sound of the two of them breathing filled the small space.
After several minutes Sam turned his head back to Dean.
His eyes were shimmering with unshed tears, his emotions showed brightly through them. He inhaled shakily. “Is that what you want? To just act like we never had this conversation?”
Dean didn’t think, he didn’t have to. This annoying, freakishly tall, bitch was his little brother. And he knew it on an instinctual level. He wasn’t sure what this meant, or how, or if it would change things, but he sure as hell didn’t want to pretend that nothing had changed.
“No, that’s not what I want.”
Sam face softened, and Dean saw a glimpse of the child Sam had once been shining out. “I don’t want that either.”
Dean inhaled, not sure where to go from here. He was way out of his depth, and Sam was sitting there, waiting for him to do something.
“So is this the part where we braid each other’s hair, and cry over a bowl of ice cream?”
Sam blinked, then his lips twitched, and he laughed.
Dean started laughing right along with him, and they probably looked like two crazy people, but it felt good.
“Fuck you,” Sam sputtered.
“Yeah, right back at you.”
Sam shook his head, and ran his hand through his hair, then his expression became serious again. “I really am sorry, I just…”
Dean reached out, resting his hand on Sam’s shoulder. “It’s okay man. I’m not one to be throwing stones.”
“Thanks.”
Dean let his hand fall away.
“I’m glad you told me - I just wish,” his voice almost broke, and Dean watched him steel himself. His eyes were dry, his voice calm as he said, “I just wish my mom could be here, this would have meant everything to her.”
That caught Dean off guard, and his stomach churned.
Sam was watching him. “She would have liked you.”
It was a weird feeling, to feel sorrow over the loss of someone you’d never met. “Thanks,” Dean murmured.
Sam exhaled. “Well, I guess, we take this one day at a time?”
Dean nodded , and rose, offering Sam his hand. “You want to find our better halves and let them know we haven’t killed each other yet.”
Sam smiled, and let Dean help him up.
Dean moved toward the door.
‘Dean,” Sam said softly,
Dean paused and turned.
“If you want, me and Jess would love to have you and Cas over for breakfast tomorrow. We could…talk some more.”
Dean saw the same fear he’d seen in the mirror in Sam’s posture, and expression.
“I’d like that.”
Sam smiled, relief evident in his brown eyes. And Dean was once again struck by how young he looked. “Okay.”
*****
Dean laid down in the bed, emotionally, and physically drained. The warmth of Cas’s body pressed into his side, and he relished in it.
Today had been rough - but in the end - good.
He wasn’t sure what would come of him and Sam being brothers - but if at the very least they could be friends, he’d consider it a victory.
He looked at Cas, who was watching him with affectionate eyes, and he smiled.
Cas smiled back.
Dean leaned in, and kissed his lover’s chapped lips, savoring the moment. Knowing that despite the threat looming over their head he was damn lucky to have moments like this.
The road might be icy, but with Cas helping him navigate the terrain he was pretty damn sure he and Sam could make this work.
A/N: I'm doing my best to update more often guys, so far so good, thanks for sticking with me :)
Feel free to friend this journal for the insanity :)
As always, I love comments - each one makes me smile.