(no subject)
the way my roomate types on her laptop makes me want to kill myself. i cannot describe the noise but the only thing comparable is the sound of her making eggs and toast in the morning that i can't fucking stand but the typing definately wins. i have to tell dr. seidler about the noises. i get headaches every seven minutes and its really starting to take its toll.
my grandma died. the short version. still can't really talk about it.
i'm way behind in class and i have never felt worse about my mental capacity or my appearance. i don't go anywhere because i don't want people to see me.
except i went to a concert by myself last week. big mistake. i had a panic attack and couldn't stop dry heaving in the bathroom. the only person that talked to me all night was the chick whose job it is to hold the paper towels.
seeing my sisters for easter/ funeral was wierd.
i found out that cassie is more like me than i'd like to admit. scared of being alone forever. i think we all have that fear because at 26 24 and 20 and none of you have ever had a boyfriend i think its natural to worry if something is wrong with us.
i don't know why i'm so scared of being alone when i already am.
i think i've missed too many therapy sessions in a row. i have to stay up really really late tonight to catch up and get up early because thats when class starts. and even earlier on thursday to leave on time for therapy. i wish there was someone i could talk to here. my rooamtes have also abandonded me. i have no where to live next year and they really don't seem to care. i still don't know if i can come back here. i have to figure out money. i have to get my head fixed. i wish i could do things without being afraid.
my grandma died. the short version. still can't really talk about it.
i'm way behind in class and i have never felt worse about my mental capacity or my appearance. i don't go anywhere because i don't want people to see me.
except i went to a concert by myself last week. big mistake. i had a panic attack and couldn't stop dry heaving in the bathroom. the only person that talked to me all night was the chick whose job it is to hold the paper towels.
seeing my sisters for easter/ funeral was wierd.
i found out that cassie is more like me than i'd like to admit. scared of being alone forever. i think we all have that fear because at 26 24 and 20 and none of you have ever had a boyfriend i think its natural to worry if something is wrong with us.
i don't know why i'm so scared of being alone when i already am.
i think i've missed too many therapy sessions in a row. i have to stay up really really late tonight to catch up and get up early because thats when class starts. and even earlier on thursday to leave on time for therapy. i wish there was someone i could talk to here. my rooamtes have also abandonded me. i have no where to live next year and they really don't seem to care. i still don't know if i can come back here. i have to figure out money. i have to get my head fixed. i wish i could do things without being afraid.