Life and it's everchanging tides
Hey everyone,
Long time no see, I know. My last update was nearly a year ago smh. So what's been going on in my life the last couple years? College. No, seriously, the ups and downs of college life have turned me away from Livejournal and yeah, I mean, I've been solidly on Tumblr, but I understand that it's just not the same... I can't have the same types of friendships that I had here. I just can't, and it hasn't happened. Last night I dreamt about a friend on livejournal and I woke up crying because I missed everyone here so much (and because I got my period, shocker). I miss all of the fun I used to have here... the relationships I developed here... the fics I read, the art I saw, the icons I made, the comments and love and support that everyone on my f-list gave me. I will never forget <3 I love everyone here, but the specifics I remember especially... the ones that cheered me on and gave me love... I love you guys so much I can't even describe it.
Last semester, I went through one of the worst periods of my life... I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety, and had to attend therapy for self harm and thoughts of suicide. It's just one of those things that you think could never happen to you and then... it happens. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life, to struggle every single day to survive. Every single damn day I felt alone and miserable and just... so unbelievably full of hate for myself and guilt over what I was doing to my friends and family. It's going better now thankfully, I've gotten help and I'm at a better place now, but it's still hard sometimes. I've just this morning thought of livejournal and the community I had built here and how I wish I had reached out here... I know something would have given, something would have helped me. But I just... I couldn't reach out because I was frozen and lost, unable to see anything but darkness.
But now I've seen light too and finally I want to just thank everyone for what they gave me here and hopefully rekindle some friendships. I'm going to try really hard, because I miss all of you so much.
Love you all,
Bleedy
Long time no see, I know. My last update was nearly a year ago smh. So what's been going on in my life the last couple years? College. No, seriously, the ups and downs of college life have turned me away from Livejournal and yeah, I mean, I've been solidly on Tumblr, but I understand that it's just not the same... I can't have the same types of friendships that I had here. I just can't, and it hasn't happened. Last night I dreamt about a friend on livejournal and I woke up crying because I missed everyone here so much (and because I got my period, shocker). I miss all of the fun I used to have here... the relationships I developed here... the fics I read, the art I saw, the icons I made, the comments and love and support that everyone on my f-list gave me. I will never forget <3 I love everyone here, but the specifics I remember especially... the ones that cheered me on and gave me love... I love you guys so much I can't even describe it.
Last semester, I went through one of the worst periods of my life... I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety, and had to attend therapy for self harm and thoughts of suicide. It's just one of those things that you think could never happen to you and then... it happens. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life, to struggle every single day to survive. Every single damn day I felt alone and miserable and just... so unbelievably full of hate for myself and guilt over what I was doing to my friends and family. It's going better now thankfully, I've gotten help and I'm at a better place now, but it's still hard sometimes. I've just this morning thought of livejournal and the community I had built here and how I wish I had reached out here... I know something would have given, something would have helped me. But I just... I couldn't reach out because I was frozen and lost, unable to see anything but darkness.
But now I've seen light too and finally I want to just thank everyone for what they gave me here and hopefully rekindle some friendships. I'm going to try really hard, because I miss all of you so much.
Love you all,
Bleedy